It was as if my whole world stopped
Who I was in a past life perished
and a whole new me was born
It's incredible how one tiny little human being
can have such an impact on one's soul.


Dedicated to Annaleah Grace. My niece. My world. The one who taught me that the child inside of us all never really dies.

Another argument
Another day walking on eggshells
Another night of being alone
Another beating
Another lesson on what a ******* I am
Another punishment for not buying the right brand of ***** you like
More black eyes
More cuts and bruises from fighting you off
More afternoons being thrown on the floor and kicked
Being knocked out unconscious because I didn't feel like having *** with you
Being called a ***** every five minutes
Being covered in freshly brewed coffee
so you could hear me scream in agony
Another tooth knocked out
Another day of my life being threatened
Another night lying next to a monster
wishing I was dead

2:13 PM

A school shooting took place
He was angry at the world
for the constant rejection that he faced
He was sick of the jocks pushing him up against lockers
and girls only wanting him for just ***
He was sick of his mother always lecturing him about taking his meds
it made him want to wring her neck

His girlfriend broke up with him two weeks prior
over a text message one morning
Being dropped like a piece of garbage
made him even more angry at everybody
He thought he could control himself
if he spent a few days home from school
It was there he found a way to get attention
he found a way to be cool

He stole his dad's semi-automatic rifle
went to school as if everything was okay
Once there he snapped
and began to fire away

2:13 PM

A school shooting took place
He felt sorry for what he did
he shook as he paced
He was sick of the constant voices in his head
that made him turn into someone else

At 2:14 PM

he turned the gun onto himself

Can you feel my heartbeat?
That's you
Every time you walk into a room
my heart starts dancing
Whenever I see you sad
my heart erupts with panic and all I want to do
is take that sadness away from you
When I run into you at the grocery store
you make it a point to ask about my day
I look at you in disbelief
how can someone so perfect make me feel this way
Before I even knew you
your presence had a huge affect on me
Your face shows up in my dreams
making it impossible to breathe
I want you to feel my heartbeat
it beats so clear but you don't have a clue
That every minute of everyday
my heart beats just for you

I gave you all that I could
I have nothing left to give you
I was faithful during our whole relationship
and you betrayed us by cheating on me
You promised me that you wouldn't hurt me
that rainy day in New York
Yet you did now I am more ****** up
than I ever was before
You said that you were different
but you lied
You used me to get me into bed
then you tossed me to the side
Now you want my forgiveness
after the ***** you left me for dumped your ***
You must be out of your mind
I am not that stupid
We are done
Completely done
You ******* up any chance of being with me
Don't call me
Don't write me
Don't come near me
Thank you for exposing your true colors
you pathetic Prince Charming wannabe

We have one hour to spend together before you leave
let's make this hour worthwhile
Let's say all of the things we used to be afraid to say
without paying attention to the clock's ticking dials
Let's lie in each other's arms
reminiscing about the day we met
Let's be open and vulnerable until we cry
not giving a **** if our faces get wet
Let's hold each other close until the moment we say goodbye
comes to destroy our lives
If you only had one more hour to spend with the one you love
how would you spend your time?

He likes hot chocolate
I like lattes
He loves Netflix on Fridays
and I love kisses on Sundays
I wonder what he thinks
when he's sipping his drink
I know what I'm thinking about
I'm thinking he's perfect for me