I am so confused
You can't be with me but you can have *** with me
You can live in my apartment
You can take showers with me
You can blow up my phone
asking me when I am coming home
You can sleep in bed with me
You can spend the holidays with my family
You can take me out on dates
You can take me on road trips with you
You tell everyone that I'm your's
You spend all of your time with me
You buy me gifts on Valentines Day
You bought me a promise ring
You tell me you love me but we are not together
We are just friends?

It irritates me when I tell people that I am a emotional, complicated, sensitive disaster and they say "Oh don't have low self esteem". I don't have low self esteem. I am being honest with you so months down the line when you finally agree with what I am telling you, you can't say that you didn't know because I told you so. I don't get why people are so stunned by my honesty.

I have no one to kiss at midnight for New Year's. Instead of complaining about it I can't help but imagine how fantastic it will be when I am able to kiss my future soulmate every year at midnight for the rest of my life and in that moment I will be so glad I waited to save my next kiss for someone who truly loves and appreciates me for who I really am

I want to think the creator of Hello Poetry Eliot York for allowing me to share my work on this site. To the other writers on this site both published and non published thank you for the critique to make my writing better. Thank you for encouraging me and directing me in the right direction to making my life more positive. Thank you for always motivating me and reminding me to work ******* my dreams. Thank you for picking me up when I was sad. Thank you for believing in me when I can't believe in myself. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my poetry, like it, share it and compliment it. To the friends I have made on Hello Poetry thank you for being so awesome. I really hope to meet most of you in person so we can get together and write together. How cool would that be!!!?? I am so blessed to be able to share my work with people who understand how I think. For the first time in my life I have a place to turn to when I need release from all of the crap that builds up in my mind and to be surrounded by people who have a passion for writing like I do, it's like being around magic all of the time and I can't help but smile. To everyone on Hello Poetry thank you for not just making a difference in my life but for making a difference in other's lives as well through your words. You all make the world a better place. Every time you post a poem on this site, you are giving a gift of hope to those who are lost and each poem gives someone the courage to face their demons. If you ever feel like your words don't matter let me tell you now that they do. Every single day. So don't you ever think your work means nothing. You all are so talented and I am so blessed to be a part of a community that is just so full of love. 2015 was amazing and it was because of all of you. Eliot York, thank you again. To every writer on this site, thank you again for making the world a better place, one poem at a time. Happy New Year!!!!!!

She is not a *****
She is not heartless
She is not selfish
She is not full of herself
She is exhausted
She is worn out
She is done
She is tired of not being heard
She is tired of not being seen
She is tired of trying to be good enough
She is tired of having to take care of everything
She is tired of the late nights staying up worried about her loved ones
She is tried of disappearing and no one noticing her absence
She is tired of being taking advantage of
She is tired of giving advice yet when she needs advice no one seems to be around
She is tired of being disrespected
She is tired of being judged when she needs to be understood
She is tired of holding back because no one wants to hear about her problems
She is tired of being pressured into doing things she doesn't want to do
She is tired of being terrified to let people in
yet no one is giving her a reason to let her fear of vulnerability go
She is tired of working and not getting anywhere
She is tired of encouraging others but when she needs motivation
it's like she doesn't exist
She is tired of her kindness being walked all over
She is tired pushing forward just to be pushed back
She is tired of being everyONE'S HERO
SHE IS TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING THERE JUST TO BE LEFT BEHIND
SHE IS TIRED OF BEING TREATED LIKE SHE DOESN'T MATTER
SHE DOES MATTER
SHE IS A PERSON
SHE IS A GOOD PERSON
SHE TRIES SO HARD TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE MISERABLE
SHE KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE WALKED ALL OVER LIKE A BEAT UP PIECE OF CARPET
SHE PUTS OTHERS FIRST ALWAYS AND SHE GETS CHOSEN LAST
SHE IS TIRED OF IT
TIRED OF NOT GETTING WHAT SHE NEEDS
SHE NEEDS SOMEONE TO HOLD HER HAND FROM TIME TO TIME
SHE NEEDS TO HAVE A SHOULDER TO CRY ON
SHE NEEDS TO BE SEEN, TO BE HEARD, TO BE APPRECIATED
SHE IS A HUMAN BEING WHO NEEDS A HERO TOO
SHE IS...remarkable
Extraordinary
Beautiful
Talented
She is a rare person to find
She is everyone's hero but sometimes even hero's need help sometimes
Even hero's have bad days and just need someone to remind them of their greatness
She needed a hero
but now it's too late...

I hope you find happiness in places you never have before
I hope this Christmas you get everything you wished for
I hope you have the courage to let go of anything that is tragic
so you can spend today in peace as you fall back in love with magic




If you are reading this I just want to wish you a Merry Christmas!!!!

The snow is falling gently outside
the lights on the house are glowing with love
The Christmas tree is full of ornaments we made together
before God made you an angel above
The sky is dark yet full of stars
holiday movies play on the television
I sit outside with my cup of hot cocoa
hoping you can hear me from heaven
I wish you could see the house
it is decorated just for you
The mistletoe hangs where we used to kiss
as the clock strikes two
Your records stay in their place
just as you left them
I get sad knowing their collecting dust
but I don't have the heart to touch them
I tried making your famous pasta tonight
it's a recipe I can never get right
I drink the wine we used to share together
as we sat next to the window awaiting the winter weather
I still stay up until 2 am
hoping to catch Santa coming into the house
Yet I always manage to fall asleep
as I dream of you singing Beatles songs to me
I look through old photo albums
full of pictures from five Christmas's ago
I am immediately taken back to our first Christmas
where our first kiss took place in the snow
With tears in my eyes I grab the keys
to take a drive in your car
Merry Christmas my love
I hope your happy wherever you are



To those who are dealing with holiday grief I just want you to know that you are not alone. Merry Christmas. I hope your day is a wonderful one and I hope your heart is full of hope, love and happiness.