The world is a vicious place
with violence surrounding us all
It breaks my heart that so much hate
is causing countries to fall
Attacks are falling from the sky
as ISIS leaves fire wherever they go
People are dying, fear is rising up
as we ask questions for answers we may never know
The twin towers had their murders
when planes crashed into them on 9/11
America was in devastation
as many hearts were in ruin
Paris has now been attacked
with shootings and suicide bombs
People are lying dead in the streets
over unsolved issues that isn't their fault
America and Paris are not the only ones
who is danger at this time
Japan, Mexico and many others
also need our prayers and our help
War is so ugly
it causes more harm than good
Men losing brothers in blood spilled battles
some as young as 18 having to be put to rest so soon
Children are being beheaded
over religious differences
Threats are being made all over the place
throwing people into panic
Groups of people being held hostage
over greed and desperate need for power
My heart keeps breaking
as I get news updates every other hour
The world is falling apart
it's getting worse each day
Now is the time to stand together
and make the evil of ISIS go away
I don't want any more blood spilled
I don't want the world living in fear
I want the Eiffel Tower to put it's lights back on
I want the world to live in peace

I wish I was lying in the snow
surrounded by pine trees
I feel like I can't catch my breath
I can't decide if this is anxiety that I am feeling
or if I am just overwhelmed with happiness
I suppose I could call a friend
let that friend know how I feel
It's hard to tell someone about your problems though
when they don't consider your problems real
You see there is this guy that I like
he is everything I have been searching for
This afternoon out of nowhere
he showed up at my front door
Apparently he has a crush on me
so he thought he would take a chance
By coming to my house
and asking me out to dance
I said to him "that would be lovely"
he replied with "I will see you tomorrow night at six"
After he left I tensed up and started feeling like this
I haven't been out with a man in two years
what was I going to do
I can't go on this date
I'll end up looking like a fool
A part of me wants to cancel
another part of me wants to go
He seems like a gentleman
but how do I know
My cell phone begins to buzz
I see his name on the screen
I sit up in fast motion
trying to comprehend everything
I can't back out of this date now
that would be rude and selfish
I guess I just have to swallow my anxiety
and take this chance at happiness

I have accepted a truth
that I have been trying to avoid for quite some time
I am going to spend the rest of my life alone
I have believed in true love ever since I was a little girl
I wasn't the type who dreamed about a big wedding
I dreamed about life after a wedding
Buying a house
Raising dogs
Cookie dough fights during the holiday season
Painting a bedroom a wacky color
Going to concerts to celebrate anniversaries
Traveling to Europe
Growing old together and still sharing kisses in the snow
I have come to the conclusion that true love is not in the cards for me
You know when a woman gets news that she can't have a baby
Her heart breaks, she cries but she has to accept that reality?
That is sort of what happened to me tonight
I was writing a poem about love like I always do
and it hit me
The stuff I write about will never happen to me
I will never buy a house with someone so we can build a home together
I won't be raising a puppy with anyone
I won't be throwing cookie dough in my kitchen during the holidays
The bedroom I paint will not be a wacky color
I won't go to concerts for any reason other than to enjoy live music
I won't be sharing a story in Europe with anything other than my diary
I will be 80 years old still loving the snow by myself
and that is okay
As heartbreaking as that is
I am totally okay with that
Some people grow up to be famous
Some grow up to make a difference
Some grow up to raise a family
Some grow up to fall in love and spend the rest of their lives
with the one who took their heart and never let it break
I have been by myself for the last two years
I have become comfortable with loneliness
I have adapted
I am better off this way
I won't be able to hurt anyone and in return no one will hurt me
As tough as this was to accept
once I said the words out loud I felt this weight being lifted off of me
As if I had revealed a horrible secret I have been hiding
Do I still believe in true love?
Yes I do
It exists
It really does
It just doesn't exist for me
Am I sad?
I am heartbroken
Maybe more heartbroken than I have ever been in my entire life
But I will be okay
I will take this truth and move on with my life
That is what I do
I am not depressed
I am realistic
No man is ever going to want me
I am too complicated
I am too emotional
I am too much to handle
I love too much, I have been told before that I love too much
I don't know how to not love so much
I am not beautiful enough to be looked at naked
and take someone's breath away
I don't have what it takes to make someone happy
I am twenty three years old
It is better that I accept this now
so I don't waste my life hoping for something that won't come true
I will always be the brides maid
never the bride
I will always be somebody's friend or sister
never a crush or girlfriend
I will always be on the sidelines cheering on every one else's love stories
never will I have a beautiful story to look back on and cherish
I am okay with all of that
I really am

I saw you in my room last night
You were sitting on the edge of my bed
Stroking my hair
You kept telling me how beautiful I looked
For a minute it was as if you never passed away
I could see in your eyes that you were worried about me
I haven't been well since I laid you to rest
Seeing you in your coffin
touching your hands that once held mine so tightly
as we walked the strip in Las Vegas
Do you remember that day?
It was a spur of the moment thing
We just got into the car and drove
We held onto each other so tightly
as we walked looking at everything Vegas had to offer
That was the night we got married
It was so out of the blue but I knew when you proposed to me
that I was making the right choice by saying yes
Everyone thought that we were crazy
Maybe we were
But I have never been so crazy about another human being before
Being with you was like heaven on earth
You were romantic
You were kind
You were wonderful to me
Then you died
In the blink of an eye it was all over
One hit by a drunk driver and you were gone
I was left with more than a broken arm and a couple of stitches
I was left with a shattered heart
I was left with guilt for surviving
I was left with depression because I ached for you
I was left with fear because I forgot how to live without you
I cried so hard when I woke up in that hospital room
I called out your name but you didn't answer
I felt lost
I felt incomplete
I reached for you in my dreams but you weren't there
When your Mother told me that you had passed
my heart ached so badly that I went into cardiac arrest
I hoped to be with you
but the Lord wouldn't take me

It has been three months since that accident
I have lost weight because I can't eat
I hurt from lying in bed all day because I have no energy to do anything
I know you're angry at me
This isn't who I am
To dwell on pain and let life pass me by
That was never us
We lived
We lived for the moments that people dreamed about
We made love under the stars
We kissed in thunderstorms
our hearts collided and time froze still just for us
That's all over now
As I watch you on the edge of my bed
I want so badly to hold you
I want to be in your arms
I want to feel safe again
You won't hold me
You want me to let you go
You want me to be happy
You tell me we will be together again
as you kiss my forehead
I watch you go to heaven
as an angel holds me and lets me cry into her chest

The ones you love the most
will break your heart once or twice
It's not because their evil
their human, they will mess up sometimes
The one you give your heart to
will disappoint you one day
It's not because they don't love you
their fighting demons that won't ever go away
The people you call your friends
will make mistakes that will upset you
It's not because they don't care about your friendship
it's just what they have to do
The sun won't always shine
sometimes it will rain
It doesn't mean something bad will happen
it's God's way of cleansing your pain
Your parents who you thought were perfect
may overstep their boundaries by telling you what to do
It's not because they doubt you
it's their way of saying that they care about you
The God you lean on 24/7
will cause you to hit rock bottom
It's not because he deserted you
it's the only way you will grow

My God it drives me crazy
that you don't know how amazing you are
It breaks my heart when you look into the mirror
and all you see are flaws
But I, your girlfriend see radiance
pouring out of every pore of your body
You complain about all of the things that I love about you
It frustrates me that you are so blind
to the very things that make you absolutely wonderful
Sometimes I just look at you and think "wow
he chose me, he is my other half
and he is perfect, so so so perfect"
You're a work of art I can admire all day long
You're a song that dances through my nervous system
and causes me to shiver in excitement
You're the high a person gets
when they smoke their first cigarette in the morning
Your eyes shine like fireflies
that glow in the dark at the end of a summer day
Your presence is enough to scare
all of my demons away
You're the firework that bursts inside of me
every time we make love
You're my lucky charm
Life with you is like reading a book that never ends
Each chapter gets better
Each minute with you is a blessing
Each day I love nothing more
than to tell you how much you mean to me
Hopefully, one day when you look into your mirror
you will see exactly what I am talking about

They were total opposites
In fact they didn't even belong together
They were so incompatible
Even their friends thought their relationship was strange
He was a high school graduate with a good paying job
She was a high school drop out
working at the mall during the day
For fun she wrote poetry at night
while he enjoyed listening to eighties music as he worked on cars
He was a huge *** smoker
whereas she was the type to read books as a way to relax
He had a minor criminal record
and she couldn't take a risk to save her life
They fought over stupid things
Things that didn't even make sense half of the time
He was the kind of guy to crack jokes when she was mad
She was the type to get angry because he never took anything seriously
He wanted to stay in his hometown
She wanted to travel the world
He hated the cold
She adored it
He hated Christmas and didn't believe in Jesus
Christmas to her was heaven on earth and she was a christian
He sometimes wondered why he was with her and vice versa
When he thought of breaking up with her
he knew he would miss her
He never thought of himself as attractive
in fact he saw himself as a loser
But in her eyes he was perfect
She couldn't get enough of him
She never had high self esteem
in her eyes she was the low life *******
She felt intimidated by his success
she couldn't help but wonder why he liked her
People close to them have said before
they would never last as a couple
They were too different, too abnormal
they were better off with other people
What he didn't know was that his smile
gave her butterflies you wouldn't believe
What she didn't realize was that her body
made him weak in the knees
Despite her obsession with always trying to be good enough
he was crazy about her mind
She was smart in a way he couldn't put into words
Her laughter drove him wild
She hated how whenever she tried to express herself
he would make a joke about what she was saying
She sometimes felt offended
and stupid for not being more interesting
The way he made her feel comfortable in her skin though
it was like fireworks on the fourth of July
She was never afraid to get naked in front of him
she was beautiful in his eyes
When worse came to worse they were there for each other
If anyone made her cry
he would beat the **** out whoever caused her tears
Even though he was an idiot sometimes if anyone called him that word
she was on their *** faster than they could blink
Despite the fear of vulnerability
he worked hard to open up as much as he could
Even though the pressure to be perfect was like a drug
she did her best to just be herself
He enjoyed reading her poetry
especially the ones she wrote about him
She enjoyed hearing his jokes
even if she couldn't understand them
At the end of the day they loved each other
they accepted each others flaws
They both got what they always wanted
to be able love another human being so deeply
and to be loved in return