You're a ******* *****
You're fat
Your smile is disgusting
You make my life a living hell
You're boring
You're too emotional
You were a mistake
My friends were right, you are a *****
You're family is ****** up
You're nonexistent to me
You're mental
Go cut yourself
I never loved you
Your face makes me want to puke
Drop dead
Go **** yourself
Every inch of you is disgusting
Go away
You are one ****** up ****

The last man who claimed to love me at one time said all of those hurtful things to me
Ask me again why I am single
Ask me again why I am so closed off
Ask me again why I am terrified of love

I know you probably don't want me here
I'm sorry I left you at the airport alone
I'm sorry for not answering  your calls
I'm sorry for letting you think I don't love you
The truth is I do love you
and saying that out loud scares the hell out of me
The last guy I said I love you to hurt me
he not only broke my heart but he shattered my self esteem by criticizing my body on social media
and picking at every flaw he once claimed to love
It took such a long time
for me to build myself up from my ex's mean words
If I tell you that I love you
I am allowing the walls around me to fall down
I am exposing a part of me I have hidden away
out of fear of rejection
I didn't plan this
I didn't expect to meet you
and when I did I had no idea I would fall for you
the way that I have
When I cry you don't get mad
you don't tell me what to do
or try to distract me from my tears
You respect my feelings and you just sit in the moment with me without me having to ask you to
It scares me when you tell me I'm beautiful
my ex he never did that and if he did compliment me
it was only to get into my pants
When you tell me I am beautiful
I know you're not just talking about my body
You see things about me no one else takes the time to see
and you adore those things about me
Like that one night during the blackout you came over
and filled my room with candles
and you purposely got the ones that smelled like Christmas trees
and you told me "I know how much you love the smell of pine trees" but I never told you that
so when I asked you how you knew that
you said "I could tell by the way your eyes lit up when we watched The Polar Express for the first time together."
You take time to notice things about me and that makes me uncomfortable because I am used to being ignored
I like how when I drive your car you have that CD labeled "Mandie's Favorites"
and on that disk is every song you ever caught me listening to on repeat
and you always leave money in the cup holder
so I can grab a coffee from Starbucks because you know how much I love my coffee
When you told me you loved me
I got scared and ran away because I am not used to being loved so much
Your actions say it all though
You don't even have to say the words because everything you do screams "I LOVE YOU"
It's like I am always on your mind
and it's amazing that out of all the women in the world
you chose me
I know you are not my ex
You are far from it
I'm sorry for assuming the worst
and holding you up to a negative standard
After some thinking I have come to realize that I love you
I'm in love with you
and there is nothing I can do about it anymore
You're everything I want
You broke through my walls without me noticing
You see my flaws and love them without fear
I don't want to be afraid of love
With you I'm not scared of anything
You give me the courage to be fearless
in a way I never have been before
You complete me in every possible way
and if I could spend the rest of my life with anyone
it would be you

People say we are crazy
they say it is strange that we never fight
We do fight, we bicker, we disagree
we just happen to fight in person instead of on Facebook

They say we should get married
we act like a married couple so we might as well tie the knot
We do want to get married
We will marry when we are ready to not because the world thinks that we should

They say you should be more romantic and buy me things
I don't want expensive dinners and diamonds
You know that about me
You are romantic
They don't know about the dances in the rain
or that one time we flew all the way to Chicago in the winter time
just so you could kiss me in the snow because you knew that is all I wanted for Christmas

They say I never talk about you or show you off on social media so I must be unhappy
I am happy
I love how you wear Mickey Mouse ears just to make me laugh,
how you memorized my favorite One Direction song
so you can sing it to me out of tune while I am doing the dishes
I love coming home from work and seeing the house cleaned because you know I hate messes
I don't have time to post every detail about you on the internet because I am too busy spending time with you

I really love it when someone sees you at the bar with some girl
and they immediately think you're cheating on me
when in reality the girl you were with was your sister and you both were waiting for me to leave work so we could all go to dinner together

It is funny how people can be so nosy and judgmental about things they know nothing about
It does not matter though
We love each other so much
We prove it to each other everyday without the internet's help
We are madly in love with each other
That is all that matters.

I woke up at 3 am unable to go back to sleep
I did not want to be in bed alone
I wanted you right next to me
I could have sent you a text
maybe a phone call would have been good
But I am a hopeless romantic
so I did what every girl should
I put on a pair of jeans
slipped on some sandals and grabbed my keys
It was sprinkling outside
so I grabbed a hoodie too big for me that it almost touched my knees
I drove over to your place
not sure if you would be awake
As I pulled up to your house
I saw you sitting outside as if you were waiting for me
You stood up as I got out of the car
you chuckled as I walked to you
"I COULDN'T SLEEP!" you yelled
As I put my arms around your neck so you could lean down to kiss me
"Me neither" I said
"That is why I am here, I can't seem to sleep without you"
Then without hesitation you led me into your house
where we fell asleep in your bedroom until noon

You are not broken
You are injured
You are strong in the Lord
You will get through whatever challenge comes your way
You are clothed in strength
You have God on your side
His love for you will never fail

I have no idea what you look like
but I know you are flawlessly beautiful
I have never touched you
but I can feel your arms around me as I sleep
I have never heard your voice
but I hear the sweet things you whisper to me
I have never spoken to you in person
but I know that I can trust you with anything
I do not know what makes you tick
I do not know what kind of music you are into
I do not know anything about you
All that I know is you're from the future
You're my soul mate who is waiting for me
and until we meet I will continue to search for you
so that when we meet in person
I can show you this poem to prove I have loved you before I met you
and I will continue to love you even after I die

I do not want to be told I love you anymore
People say that way too much and half the time they do not even mean it
It is to the point that I do not even believe in that anymore
Instead of saying I love you
Tell me I complete you
Tell me I am perfect to you just the way that I am
Tell me that I matter to you
That would be enough