Last night I died
I didn't want to wake up
I wish the doctor didn't bring me back
it hurt to be woken up
I died of a broken heart
I know that was the reason for sure
I could not bear to live a lie anymore
not when I am in love with a heart that is so pure
I woke up in my ripped up jeans
I felt sick, I felt light
I saw a nurse standing over me
telling me that I will be alright
She held my hand lightly
I had nothing to say
My mind was completely blank
I never thought I would live to see this day
The hospital was cold
they wheeled me to my room
By the time I was settled in with an IV in my arm
it was already noon
I had no expression on my face
I had no feeling under my skin
I just wanted to go outside
and keep all of my feelings bottled within
I am now forced to stay in this place
I am told I need help
I guess I overdosed on pills
maybe it's cause my life is hell
For now I am doing better
I got a lot of work ahead
I might as well get comfortable
I think to myself as I fall asleep in my hospital bed

I am so shaky right now
it is beginning to scare me
I am feeling dizzy and tired
I am not quite understanding what is happening to me
Maybe I am not getting enough sleep
Maybe I am really stressed
Maybe I am going crazy
Maybe this is a test
School is feeling like a prison
it takes everything I have to go
The heat is making me sick
I wish God would let it snow
The days seem so long
I just want to fade away
No matter how happy I am
I still get depressed everyday
I am losing all hope for myself
this battle is overwhelming
Despite all of the friends and family I have
none of them are helping
Suicide is a common thought
I even dream about it in my dreams
I mostly think about death
when I am having bad days like today
Hopefully my mood changes
I don't like wanting to die
The only thing I can do for now
is keep going and try not to cry

Swaying on the swing set in the warm summer breeze
I close my eyes and smile
I love days like these
Days at the park are priceless
I let my mind go free
I dance as the leaves make music
I run feeling the cold grass on my feet
I sit on the bench and watch others live their lives
I am in awe with what I see
There are no celebrities walking the red carpet
I see average people like you and me
I come to the park to escape the teenage life
whenever I'm here I feel like I am four again
No girl is judging me or my clothes
no guy is calling me a *****
As the sun touches my skin I feel a warmth that can only come from love
I think about the scars on my arms
I cry until I have had enough
I get up and I spin in circles again
with each circle I make a piece of my past falls off of me
and that moment becomes a brand new day

I remember the day that you died
you took a part of me I will never have again
Not only were you my lover
you were my very best friend
We did everything together
our worlds were complete
We made each other happy
by dancing to our own heartbeats
When you told me you were sick
I thought you would be okay
I thought we would go together
but you went to heaven without me that day
You slipped away in your sleep
while I held your hand tight
I prayed for you to wake up
but you never did that night
I cried for hours when you left
I was scared to let you go
I laid by your side and whispered
all of the things I thought you needed to know
I told you that I loved you
more than I loved myself
I told you that you were all I ever wanted
I never wanted anyone else
I kissed your lips one last time
they were cold and a little gray
When they took you from the room wrapped in a sheet
I quickly got on my knees to pray
I asked God why you had to go
I wanted you to come back
but I realized that this is reality
there was nothing I could do about that
I sit here and think about that day
it still brings a tear to my eye
I look up at the stars at night
I see you shining in the sky
It wasn't my time to go yet
that is something I had to accept
I know that you're still by my side
your soul hasn't quite left me just yet

Kiss me when I'm happy
Kiss me when I'm mad
Kiss me when I'm hyper
Kiss me when I'm sad
Kiss me when I'm sleepy
Kiss me when I'm sick
Kiss me when you're bored because I can't get enough of your lips
Kiss me in your car
Kiss me in the shower
Kiss me when we're walking
Kiss me for a couple of hours
Kiss me during school
Kiss me during work
Kiss me when I'm scared
Kiss me when I'm a ****
Kiss me when your dreams come true
Kiss me at hello
Kiss me when your world crashes down
Kiss me when your feeling low
Kiss me because you love me
Kiss me at goodbye
Kiss me for no reason at all
Your kisses are what keeps me alive

You tell me that my hair is too dark
perhaps I should lighten it up
You tell me you don't like how I act
I'm sorry I really don't give a ****
You tell me my band shirts are disgusting
I should try to wear more pink
You say I will never get anywhere in life
I really don't care what you think
You tell me my friends are immature
I should get friends my own age
You say I walk funny, you say I laugh too loud
who really cares anyways
You tell me that I am stupid
you say my life is a waste
If you don't like who I am or how I act
then get the hell out of my face
You can say whatever you want
I think I am just fine
I don't want to be friends with somebody
who is negative and constantly whines
You may say that I am ugly
I think I am beautiful the way I am
Keep talking the way you are
because once again I do not give a ****

Insecurities keep your voice from being heard