Dear guardian angel I am really frustrated
I hate being talked about and I hate being hated
I just want to go home, I do not want to be here
I want to be cool with the friends that I love so dear
I do not like feeling uncomfortable
Please make this feeling stop
it feels like someone is holding me down while beating my face in with a rock
I really want this day to be good
I want this day to be fun
I do not want to get angry and call my mom because that's all I do is run
Guardian angel please be with me today
keep me strong if I start to cry
I know I am a hassle but I will try to behave even though I just want to die
Give me a song to replay in my head to remind me I will be alright
Help my sister to have a good day too so me and her do not have a fight
Guardian angel help me keep my comments to myself
help me to have no fear
Help me walk tall with my chin up
even though I feel really weird
Help me to be my best self
Help me to be patient
Help me to not be so tense today
help me to just go with it

They can say whatever they want
what they say won't affect me
I am going to stay strong like I always do
I will be the best Mandie I can be
All these people do is talk
because their bored with their lives
Their not happy unless their ******* somebody off
and no one really knows why
Maybe their jealous of me
I can't understand the reason
It seems they want what I have
and what I have is what they need
Even though these people are jerks
I still choose to be nice
I will hold them if they need to cry
and I will be there to give them advice
I am feeling really great right now
nothing can bring me down
I am not tired and I am not angry
I have a smile instead of a frown
Today is a good day
I'm hoping it stays that way
My main goal for this very day is to not give a rat's *** about what others have to say

I am different in many ways
I don't expect you to understand
I'm sad when I'm happy
I'm happy when I'm mad
I have days where I can be myself
and days when I can't
There are days when I get so upset
that I become a person even I don't understand
I get so emotional
that I could drown in my tears
I can't seem to let go of the baggage that I have been carrying around for years
I get so frustrated because good times never last
I wish the world would just freeze
because it's moving way too fast...

I have a lot of secrets
there are some I cannot share
Some things need to be kept quiet
I am sorry if you don't think that's fair
There are bad things that I have done
I have made people cry
I have disliked a person so very much
that I wished she would die
Some of the secrets I have though
are secrets I cannot hide
Everyone knows that I used to be a cutter
and yes I have thought of suicide
Sometimes I still have suicidal thoughts
but I am learning to ignore them
I am learning to embrace life like a giant cookie
I don't need to give into them
Some secrets I have make me cry
I wish they weren't in my head
When I think of these secrets they make me angry
and I wish myself dead
These secrets are past memories that no one else needs to know
their memories that don't exist anymore
meaning it is time I let them go

I am sitting in school bored out of my mind
I am looking for something to do just to pass the time
I could really use a cigarette
I really need a buzz
right now I don't care what anyone has to say
I don't care what anyone does
I am really, really tired
I am falling asleep in my chair
I could pass out on the floor
and I wouldn't even care
I do not want to do work
I do not want to do anything
I want the burn on my hand to hurry up and heal
I do not like being in pain
I hope it rains today
it has not rained in weeks
I do not mind getting wet
and jumping in puddles with my bare feet
I want someone to talk to to help me pass the time
I wish my boyfriend was here
he keeps me from being bored out of my mind

There's not much I can say
other than the time is near
It's time for me to leave this earth
it's time for me to face my fear
I've suffered more than I should have
I should've been gone a long time ago
I tried my best to keep moving forward
but for me that seems to be impossible
I'm sorry it has to be this way
but it's something I gotta do
I'm not doing this to be selfish
I'm sorry if I'm hurting you
but I'm ready to go to a special place
a place where tears don't exist
because down here I suffer so much
that I can no longer focus
Don't cry for me when I'm gone
you know I'll be alright
Whenever you need me just look to the stars
I'll be in the sky shining bright
Go on, live your life, make your dreams come true
and know there's never been a day when I didn't think about you
I've done all I had to
I'm not needed anymore
When your time is up
I'll be waiting for you at heaven's door
So let me go please
don't ever forget to smile
Death doesn't stop true love
it just delays it for awhile

Be honest even if the truth hurts.
Love even though it hurts like hell.
Be supportive even if you don't like the situation.
Do what's right even though you might get laughed at.
Smile as if nothing is wrong.
Be you because that's the best person you can be.