Right now I am writing you a song
hoping you will read it for me
I am writing about the things I see in you
and how I love everything you turned out to be
Every time we talk
I feel a weight being lifted off of my chest
After all of the mistakes I have seemed to make
you have never loved me less
I love you more than life itself
I am sure everyone can see that
I go to school just to be near you
and because of you I have grown to love it
You have changed me in many ways
you're the best choice I ever made
When I think of the day I met you
I would have to say that was the best day...

No I'm not gay
I'm just waiting for "the one"
I refuse to put my heart through agony
such as heartbreak itself
I'm not into one night stands
blind dates and all that
I believe in love at first sight
The kind of love where you meet someone  in the most unusual places such as the grocery store
The love where you look at someone and you just know you are going to spend the rest of your life with that person
I've had my share of boyfriends
neither of them were the one
they say to find Mr. right your heart has to go through multiple heartbreaks sometimes
I think I've had enough heartbreaks to scar a heart permanently
For now I'm staying single
spending my days getting to know myself better as a person sounds more entertaining than a date with my favorite celebrity
I'm saving my heart and love for someone special
not sure who that person is yet but I will find him
Eventually
I just have to wait
I'm sure he is looking for me too
When our paths cross, however that may be, I will know if he is the one
They say with love you just know
when I meet him I'll know
and I'll be so glad I waited for him all this time.

I saw you with her last night
you said you were going to your friends
I didn't want to be home alone so I called up my girls
and we decided to go out
I didn't think I would catch you with her
don't say that you  weren't with her because I saw what you were doing to her
You were kissing her
You were touching her
Your hands were in places I can't even talk or think about
You told me you were over her
how are you over her if you are all over her?
I wasn't the only one who saw you either
my friends did as well and I have never felt so stupid
I thought you were Mr. amazing
now I see you are Mr. wrong
Your disgusting
I can't stand to kiss you
I can't touch you
I can't lay in the same bed with you knowing you wish I was her
how stupid I am to believe you cared for me
I made you a priority
I was nothing but an option to you
Well now you can find someone else to be your option
because I'm done with you
I refuse to be played like a game
Pack your ****
Leave
and don't ever come back.

Sometimes when I think about killing myself
I see the details so perfectly
I see my vein splitting apart as blood leaks out of me
I see my heart pumping faster as my body goes into shock
I see myself fall to the floor
as my eyes roll to the back of my head
My hand that I cut myself with hits the floor
The razor makes a faint noise as it bounces off of the ground
Everything sits still once I hit the floor
as I lay there with blood gushing out of me
my body finally gets the peace it's been yearning for
Who knew that a simple injury to one self
could make the soul feel so much at ease

I woke up with a feeling I couldn't shake off
I felt sick, depressed, and a little *******
I had so much to do
what I really wanted to do was sleep
I managed to leave my house
trying my best not to weep
I could not stop thinking about you
I could hear your voice in my ears
I don't understand why we broke up
after being together for three years
You said you found someone else
well tell that to our daughter
tell her why your never home
tell her why she rarely sees her father
I packed up your stuff
it's in a box by the front door
I changed the sheets on our bed
I couldn't stand the smell of you anymore
I took our daughter to my mother's
just until I get my head straight
I already filed for divorce
I sign papers tomorrow and I can't wait
I don't need you to live my life
I don't need you to be successful
I wanted to share my life with you
but now that is not possible
I'm going to use these three years as a lesson learned
I will get stronger from this
I will love our daughter and move on
I will give my new life my best

2012 will be here in 7 days
and I am still stuck in the past
I need to let this **** go
or else the misery I am feeling will last
They say the world will end in 2012
why should I be miserable that year?
I want to take on 2012 as a challenge
and not have any fear
I want 2012 to be a year of changes
I want to change my style
my way of thinking
everything
I no longer want to be a victim to my emotional pain
I want to be happy
I want to be free
I want to do practically everything
I want to be confident
I want to run with excitement
I want to be the girl people talk **** about
but not worry about the haters
I want to be independent,
I want all of my dreams to come true
I want my uniqueness to shine bright
to the point my haters won't know what to do
I want to be ****
I want to be fun
I want to try new things
I want to finish high school
I want to drive
I want to dance
I want to sing
2012 will be the year to start over
it is the year to start fresh
from my birth to today I'm letting go
I'm going to start over
I'm giving 2012 my all and my best

Everyone knows I want to be with you
but you choose to be with her
Everyone knows I can give you a better life
but you still choose to be with her
Everyone knows you're the reason for the smile on my face
but you're still convinced she is the one
Everyone knows you're in love with me
but you're not telling anyone
I can do all I can to make you mine
but you will still walk away
You say you want to be with her
yet you **** me everyday
I get that she is pregnant with your baby
but that is no reason to stay stuck
You deserve to be happy
but with her your life will ****
You say you're in love with both of us
I say you're confused
You need to think about what you want
and eventually choose
If you choose her I can't be around
my feelings for you cannot handle that
If you choose me you will never be miserable
I can promise you that