This is true. I don't trust people. I have been lied to and betrayed so much that I exhaust myself into being one step ahead of everybody just to keep myself from getting hurt. Every conversation, every action gets analyzed like an insect in a **** lab when it comes to being around people. With a person as sensitive as me, it is very easy to fall for someone's lies. It's like a crime scene, my wounded heart is the ****** crime scene and anyone who even dares to love me or show me any kind of positive attention is a suspect until proven innocent. Sometimes proving to myself that not everyone is the devil in disguise takes a very long time and I promise you it is exhausting in every way possible.

I want you to run away with me
just leave everything behind
don;t worry about anything or anyone
I promise we will be just fine
You and I can start over
we just need to leave this town
we can go somewhere where nobody knows us
no drama will be around
We can get away from all of the *******
and start a life just you and me
if you trust me and take this chance
you will be the happiest as you can be
Don't worry about money, food, etc.
just get in the car and drive
we will worry about life when we are out of state
let's just make it out of here alive
I know I sound crazy
but you will thank me later
just take this chance and run with me
I promise you will feel so much better
This is scary I know
it's a really big risk
if we don't take it now
we will always regret that chance to run
an opportunity that we missed.

I'm so tired of fighting with you
I can't do it anymore
you won't even cuddle with me in bed
which is why I choose to sleep on the floor
You say you feel stuck with me
and you know that's not the case
it makes me so angry when you say that
to the point I can't even look at your face
If you don't want to be here anymore
just say so don't fake being happy all the time
of course I'll be sad if you go
but I swear I'll be just fine
I don't mind being alone
I just love having you around
but our fighting needs to stop
we need out of this circle in which we are both spinning around in
I will do my best to change my ways
but you got to know I'm not perfect
you need to be honest about your feelings
because I can't keep hurting
I don't like being mad at you
I don't like to argue
but when you tell me to "shut the **** up"
I don't know what else to do
I'm running out of ways to make you happy
I'm so stressed out now
What can I do to fix this?
I want us to be okay again
I want all of this fighting to stop
before I end up losing my best friend.

All I want is to be in your arms
I want to be the one who wipes your tears away
I want to be the one who can look at you and know exactly what your thinking
I want to have a life with you
I want to be the one to tell you everything is going to be okay
I want to be the one you want to spend the rest of your life with
I want to make you smile always
if you stay in my arms
you will never fall
nothing will ever hurt you
my love for you won't allow you to feel pain
your life, your world, your heart will change if only you were to make me your girl
let me show you how much I love you
once you have me you aren't going to want to let me go.

Lately it seems to everybody that I am the enemy
I am the reason for everyone's problems
my name seems to be coming out of everybody's mouth
although I am not longer in school I seem to be labeled as the drama Queen
when someone cries it's my fault
when someone fights I seem to be the cause of the fight
I don't know exactly what I am doing wrong
I am on the verge of breaking down
I don't want anything to do with life anymore
I am so depressed
I don't know who to go to
everyone hates me
I am so lonely
I feel like I am losing everything and everyone
Why am I the enemy?
After all the people I was there for
after all the people I have helped
I am still the reason for everyone's problems
my life is ****
I have lost myself
and I don't think I can get myself back this time.

Being a teenager is not the easiest thing in the world.
You have depression,
you have the problem of not fitting in,
you have the challenge of figuring out where and how you fit into this ******* up world,
you have eating disorders,
you have drinking,
peer pressure,
you have falling in love and getting your heart broken,
high expectations from parents and other adults,
you have cutting,
you have running away from home,
you have friends that stab you in the back.
Then, you have high school.
You have dreams others say are impossible to reach,
you have doubts about whether or not you can handle being a citizen in a world that is so ****** up,
you have the rich kids,
you have the poor kids,
you have the preppy group,
you have the emo group,
bullying,
you ask yourself everyday "who do I want to be in this lifetime?"
It is not easy being a teenager.
In fact it is so difficult not a lot of teens make it to the age of 20.
You also have suicide to deal with.
High school is not something you can figure out with just one day of going there.
In fact those who graduated high school still have no understanding of why high school is the way it is.
One thing is for sure, high school, being a teenager in general, is the time to be free.
Be fearless,
be young,
make mistakes and learn from them,
change your hair color a million times if you want to,
eat all the pizza and drink all the soda you can.
This is the time to have fun.
Are there bad times?
Yeah there is.
Someone might die,
someone might get pregnant,
changes happen but the thing about these bad things is that they are only temporary.
There is help out there for lots of things,
tons of things,
half the time we don't know what kind of help is out there.
Someone once told me, actually a movie told me, that to write something great write about what you know.
This is what I know.
High school goes by really fast,
broken hearts heal,
the mean girls who make fun of you are more insecure then you thought you were,
friends come and go but the ones who stay are the ones who are going to be there for life,
whatever happened in the past will be a faint memory,
that insecure person you used to be will turn into a confident successful person who is ready to take on the world.
Being a teenager is only temporary if you let it be.
Even though it's hard it's the best time of your life and you should never take it for granted.
The choices you make now will shape you and your future.
To all the teenagers out there dare to dream,
dare to hope,
dare to love,
dare to take risks,
fall and get up again
and do not forget to be proud to be yourself 100% in everything that you do.

I feel like I'm falling
there is nothing below to catch me either
no water
no huge trampoline
no ground
not even people with their arms outstretched to catch me
I'm simply falling
I don't know when I'm going to stop
all I know is that I am holding my breath
my air is going in all directions
there is nothing but air all around me
I can't even feel my heart beating
even though I am wearing clothes I feel completely naked
I am confused
I am spinning in circles that make it difficult to concentrate on one thing
I don't know where I am
I would scream for help but right now I have no voice
I don't even know who I am
that is when I finally stop falling.