8:28 pm
It was so ******* stupid to think I could mend you, fix you,
but you changed and i'm sick,
sick of you,
sick of your pathetic stories about ******* and smoking and ******* up a chance at a decent life,
manipulative, backstabbing, *******,
I cared for you, I cried for you,
but I'm saying goodbye now,
and 5 years from now in between your lonely 4 in the mornings when you're too wasted to think correctly and in bed with someone who doesn't even know your name,
I hope the early morning breeze against your ****** breath and burning cigarette reminds you of me
IC

Do I want to know,
the things you think
and the things you say about me?

                do you ever miss me,
                            or do you not even care?

Do I want to know,
if you hate me
or if you even like me?

                have you ever wanted me,
                            or was I nothing to you?

Do I want to know,
the thoughts you think
in bed at night?

                are they dark and painful
                           or do you rest peacefully?

Do I want to know,
what is going on
in that mind of yours?

                that complicated,
                            beautiful,
                                mind of yours?
          

                                              ­          j.z.

I was with a friend in a bar in downtown Prague,
It was one of those nights where we only want a couple drinks,
But that doesn't happen.
For we meet a few nice lads who enjoyed their drink,
And the girl they were with seemed like a little fink,
So we indulged ourselves in idle chatter; about hometowns and travels which we soon forget..
But my eyes remain upon this assumed *****,
But her lack of interest is causing a bore,
So I separate to find a new friend,
One who can keep me warm in my conceited mind,
For I do not care for the physical action,
As long as she is stimulated by my interaction.
But as the drinks add up,
And the bill gets higher.
I begin to lose faith in my ingenuity,
And begin to scoff at my insecurity,
So I find the nearest *****,
Who couldn't quite cut it before,
And I discuss how it was a glitch,
I didn't approach her at the door.
And we begin to talk,
About something I don't remember now,
But I'm sure it was smart and obscure,
Maybe about a meaningless cure..
But the night soon ends,
And I don't have my credit,
So we ****.
And leave.
And I wonder if she thought the same thing.

when you're there i pine for you
like a stupid little intellectual
i theorize your face

make up stories about your eyelids
how they close like a hardcover book
sheltering your wisdom from the judge

you let it spill out to me
your ***** brine
tenderizing my leathery exterior
into broken down, cured meat
you freed me with your trust
i was savory, salty with your laughter on my tongue

you've been waiting for me
but i cannot come
if we are to ever be in the same room again, together
i would smother you and oppress you with
love, tainted by imaginary things
like the fable of us
like my contentment

like your hand in mine
                                         clasping surely,
                                                                ­     silently,
                                                                ­                                                    home

Sunlight shines
through bare
trees, winter
air hanging
like the
last breath
you took.
How is
the world
still beautiful.