for whatever reason,
i can never be happy.
im always sad,
i always want to end my life.
no one could ever make me feel
the way that you do.
you make me feel like
i can recover from this irony.
you make me feel as if
im not worthless.
you make me feel like im important.
and i cant thank you enough for that.

it is so hard to be myself without you.

you were the only person i had.

you were my best friend.

you were my rock.

you were my world.

and now you're gone.

why do i keep going back to you knowing that its a bad idea?

why do i allow myself to talk to you over and over again knowing that ill fall for you?

why do i KNOW that i still love you even after you broke my heart?

why am i such a mess?

why am i only a mess without you?

I STILL LOVE YOU,
AND I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT.

i dont know what im feeling,
or what i need,
or who i am.

i dont know how to control my actions,
or how to control my feelings,
or how to express myself.

i dont know how to do anything anymore.
and i need someone to help me figure it out.

why did you have to do this,
come and disrupt me like that.

my thoughts are eating me from the inside out
my mind is screaming and its hurting me
i hear people.
they tell me to **** myself so why dont i?
i deserve it and my mind..
my mind is such a dark place and im tired.
not sleep tired though and thats my problem
im going insane,
and i need you.