Spontaneity planned every afternoon
There was plenty of time to be responsible later
It felt like freedom, sunlight beaming down and a gentle breeze
It felt like freedom, running through the rain
It felt like freedom, the plans to run away with you

Comfort wraps me up every night
Time to reflect on the day
It feels comforting, open ears await my rambling thoughts
It feels comforting, the warmth of you holding me while I fall asleep
It feels comforting, to finally be where I am supposed to be

It feels free to love you
It feels comforting to love you and be loved by you

wishing to be like the exposed wooden beams that sprawl across this ceiling

they are out in the open, vulnerable
but strong enough to keep the ceiling from falling in

Saturday morning
A whole day free to go wherever
Do whatever
We pick up our friends one by one

The sun is shining
Finally feels like spring

We play the music loud
We roll the windows down
An activity reminiscent of summertime

It isn’t quite as warm yet, but it is bright
The trees, finally green

As we drive down long back roads we are unstoppable
No assignments, no work, no obligations
Today we are free

Free to laugh as loud as we want to
Free to sing as loud as we can
Free to run as fast as our feet can take us
Free to climb as high as possible and see life for what it's worth

An intensity only I could feel, but I don't notice it anymore.
Not control to maintain a sense of power, just to keep myself safe.

This control is tense.
Caught in my shoulders, my jaw, my throat.

Stopping myself from speaking, it's safer to be quiet.
Only say what is necessary, make sure it is well thought out.
You can't falter when you speak to them for it is a sign of weakness.

I will take all the blame

Everything I knew
Everything I said
Is no longer true

Days are not filled with the thought of me missing you
I’ve fallen in love with my life and a person who showed me how to live it

For so long
Stuck in between what was and what could be
Trying to make a decision that wouldn’t hurt you, even if it meant hurting me
Still, it all fell apart
Slowly

I didn’t mean for it to hurt, and I will take all the blame

light floods the bedroom
rays of sunshine seeping through the blinds
hitting your face, a warm glow on your skin

you won’t wake up for a while, and even then
Sunday mornings call for lying in bed for hours

fingers
intertwined

breakfast being made
(more of a brunch)
acoustic guitar, the official soundtrack of Sunday
accompanied by our laughter and
the sink running as we wash the dishes

late mornings and early nights

there is nothing else to do on Sunday
in bed once again by nine o’clock

smiles
kisses
hushed voices

already awaiting next Sunday