.

Do not just pretend,
that you understand everything,
that could make you look clever
but you'll be soon defeated in your game.

The sorcerer never told me the truth
about his esoteric art or him,
every trick is concealed in shining platitudes
"you'll soon find out" he kept on repeating.
  
Does he really know what he is saying?

There were secrets in every corner of the house
the sorcerer lived.I, as his apprentice have to learn
to live with this fact.I fell in love with his daughter
I followed her everywhere,  in my eagerness to please him.
There was nothing else I could think of, at that moment.
He seemed delighted.By now I am trapped
in the labyrinth from which I couldn't get out.

His truths were partial, hardly believable.
Or his is a truth i would never be able to grasp.
There is no right or wrong that would help one
to break loose.I found the sorcerer's daughter
very resourceful.She was the only one who seemed
to know which way the wind blows.

Am I the sorcerer's slave? Is this a trap he set for me
right from the moment he got me interested in him?
Is his daughter really in love with me, or
all this an illusion, my mind plays or just a dream?

Looking back, we never saw this coming.

Our roller blades had a relationship
with the warm summer ground on Friday
nights when our parents would gather
over margaritas and wine; an escape hatch from
the 9 to 5 work week. We killed fireflies the
way we chew on hearts of the ones we love,
rubbing their luminescent bulbs on
the toes of our shoes so that our steps
might light up the night for just a little
bit longer and maybe, just maybe,
we could hold off on growing up.

Looking back, we all  wish we could have stayed.

But bare foot soccer on concrete turned into
binge drinking, and alcohol poisoning
and neighborhood gatherings stopped being
kind.  We swapped Air Heads and Pokemon
cards for flavored condoms and a drivers
license, only to find that everything
we threw away was worth so much more
than the high school bullies, and boys with roofies,
and the girls with tears running down into
their tissue stuffed chests.  We gave
up our golden years, and to make up for it
we stuff Prozac down our throats with a
desperate belief that childhood happiness
can be found in an orange pharmacy bottle.
Hoping, I think, that someone will come along
and tell us we've done everything right,
and would we, for our reward, like our innocence returned.

Looking back, I guess we just couldn't comprehend.

We never knew that every day the pages turned
and we were slowly losing our love of fun dip
and cheap private-school valentines.  We were
starting to forget the pride that came with
the title of King in foursquare,  or the way
it felt to let go and jump from the highest point
of the swing.   Instead we staked out cafeteria
seats and tried to figure out why having
blonde highlights, or contacts instead of glasses
suddenly made you better than everyone else.

Looking back, it all seems so sweet.
Then again, they say hindsight is 20/20.

Last night I went to a concert,
and just to be crazy, I wore a short skirt.
I also drank a lot, because i know you hate it,
last night I danced past my limit,
I washed the thought of you away
as I swayed, swayed, swayed.
So I let the music take over,
become the beating of my heart,
leaving all regrets behind.
Tonight I went out to dance again,
and I danced until not thought of you remained.
then I came home, yes I was alone,
but it felt good having the bed to my own.
not having to worry to please you all night,
I could just lay down and not have to fight,
how tired I really was,
now I am dreaming, something i haven't done,
in a long long long time.