Butterflies kept inside my chest
I'll save them for a less than sunny day.
tucked inside my bed where I lay.
the winged creatures inside me at bay
flipping and flying contently at play.
they move from my chest far
to my brain where they stay,
My mind starts to wander,
these insects are incessant theyre my constant thoughts.
disguised as beautiful winged creatures, but most are not.
my dark thoughts are moths to be swatted away,
some have bright wings.
the beautiful ones just don't seem to stay.
This hidden part of me,
can be quite gray.
I try to drown all my monsters,
Like when Noah built the ark.
Sail away with my beautiful creatures.
The moths swimming like basking sharks.
These are unseen by many
and observed by few.
I gain a moth, and lose a monarch
Every time they're met by someone new,
Or my broken heart.
But who's to say there's no beauty in something dark.

Feeling like I do
When I do, and do I,
Miss you.
Well, I know why.

We loved us,
but we didn't love each other.
Like heat in the summer.
We were warm, but we could suffer.

Remembering You and I
The littlest things.
How did it die?
Is love made to sting?

We both sit alone.
"She thought too much.
He didn't care enough."
Written on love's tombstone.

When it comes to you,
I'll wait.
You're eyes are bait,
But I won't bite.
I'll sit up straight.
I'll respond,
Not instigate.
I promise,
I'll wait.
I've got time.
I'll need it at this rate.

You pretended to care
Told me, "I will." and took me in,
Said something sweet.
You said what I want, but not what you mean.
We were seemingly so serene.
You promised me,
Not just in times of glee.
The happier we seemed to be,
The wishes, well were kept.
As soon as the wind kicked up,
You were emotionally inept.
You said I was the one.
Who knew you'd run.
I saw all your imperfections.
And lied to myself about every one.
Your lie was more,
But it was my favorite.
You'd quietly say,
"I love you too."
Because, sometimes a lie,
Is better than truth.

After all we've been through.
I'm still just a body to you.
My soul, emotions
They're not real,  
Or something you just can't feel?
Your eyes watched
As I continuously fell
What about My womb where your child Was held?
Remember when we said those words?
The three that mean
We
Were happy
Peacefully
Filled with glee
Then you broke it
You Shattered
Me.  
Again.
Here I am.
There you stand.
I'll give in.
Again.
Again.

Do people really know,
Are they just afraid to be alone?
How long does it take to figure,
A month, a day, more than a year?
Can you tell the moment its real?
Is it something you see, or something you feel?
People use the word in excess.
Would you still be in love if there was no ***?

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Something so serene about standing on the pier
While a beggin' street performer sang stairway to heaven.
Although not my favorite Zeppelin.
It was magic.
The wind carried the melodic tune.
That was it.
Everything and nothing.
One moment out of a million.

I hated the wind,
And the cold but,
In that moment I could see us there,
Growing old.

Your smile gave me warmth.
The closeness set me on fire.
In that instant,
I've never been higher.
No pipe, pill, or drink
Could make me feel,
Or make me think.
And I have to say.
It was one of my best days.

When your affections were mine,
I drank it in like expensive wine.

I savored it.
Every moment.
With selfish intent.

You're hers now.
It doesn't matter.
You still have eyes for me.
But how...

How can you look into me.
Kiss my lips with ease.
**** in the air I breathe.
And tell me you love me,
But that we can't be.

After the deed was done.
You ran right back to her.
I want what we had,
But now,
Its gone.

A boy.
A boy,
Who's love I need to feel.
I'm not his girl
He's the love I long to steal.
His voice is the sweetest,
My ears have ever heard.
For him,
I'd do anything,
Say anything
I'd give him the world.

Even with my best intent
I let him slip,
Melting to sloppy wet drips
And flowing straight,
Through my fingertips.
Even when I tried to grab hold,
I grabbed, I jabbed, and pricked,
Still away he had surely slipped.

Oceans apart
However, close we are.
There's still a spark,
It magnifies every emotion
Heightens every notion
And through all the dark,
There is still a shrill
A deep, deep, shrill,
The life-giving *****,
Beats out of turn,
Even still.

I look into those deep dark vessels,
The Windows to your soul.
They search my flesh
They cry out,
Why?
Our future clear as sunniest of skies.
Though it's not a happy ending,
What a surprise.

Reality the way it always does
Creeps close.
It's wrong we know very well
in the heat of the moment, passion swells
We're both thinking stop,
But onward we march
Into this terribly beautiful yet tragic arch,
Of love and lust that cuts so deep.
Our brains know better, but our hearts,
They are weak.

Then it hits.
In that instant a vivid dream
Comes to me lucid and not quite serene.
Your lips dancing in time
With mine closely behind

Stop

You look at me and remember her.
I'm sorry I say "I loved you first"
"Love me" I scream
Without a sound.
The words pouring out silently
My wide and weary eyes
Say it all as they cry.
Kiss me again
To send me away so abruptly.
Would surely begin,
**My end.

Sleep.
Ill meet
When I'm dead.

Sleep.
I'll greet
Lying warm in bed.

Sleep.
Complete,
My thoughts thick as led.

Sleep,
Meet,
Wild notions in my head.

Sleep.
Defeat,
Problems my brain has bred.

So young.
So eager to love.
So eager to be.
So eager to jump off and fly,
like a dove.

Don't go so fast.
No, stay right there.
Don't give your heart to someone
Who won't care.

The make-up you wear.
The way you fix your hair.
I still see the little girl in there.

Your eyes are alive.
They scream and fight.
But in the silence,
They're calm and bright.

Aphrodite*
The almighty.
You have proven,
Love isn't flighty.

Sweet goddess,
your beauty isn't fleeting.
Even when,
You are *weeping

What a gift,
Your enchanting nature
You indeed,
Are lust's creator.

When you sleep,
Do you dream?
Do you wish away your beauty?
That is so supreme?

Do you ever wonder,
What its like,
Being goddess
Of dark or light?

Your curse is true.
Yet, no one knows of
Or remembers,
The pain that comes,
With love.

I see
Why you might
Wish to be
Goddess of air
Or of the trees.

Music.
When I listen
My eyes glisten
My ears perk
My body jerks.
You make me smile
You make me sad
You make me dance
You make me mad.
Whenever I'm down
I plug you in
Then,
I'm found.

Sunday.
Alone.
I write,
On my own.
May I?
I may.
Do things I didn't,
Yesterday.

I only write about love and sadness.
Is that all I know?
Is it sane, or madness?

I set out on a simple task.
Looked at the sun and started to ask.
"Can I change the world dear sun,
like you so often do?
Can I change the world I asked,
I want to shine like you."
The sun could see
She stared at me
And threw my question back.
"Can you change the world you said?
Is that what you asked?
My child you shine as bright as me
And with that mind, you have."

Our fling.
Our thing.
Why did it die?
How could you?
No.
How could I?

I promised myself.
I won't cry.
I can't anyways.
I don't know why.

I could never commit.
You know.
You won't let me forget.

Suddenly,
You're with her.
In an instant,
Emotions stir.

I want you back.
I see the mark she gave you,
On your neck.

In the end,
It was my own doing.
Still,
My disgust for her keeps brewing.

Red.
The color of love,
it's said.
Red.
On the head,
Of an Irish thorough-bred.
Red.
Sinking ships,
Painted brightly on young girls' lips.
Red,
I'm led,
Where leaves in your color,
Scatter a creek bed.
Red.
Can't I wear you when I'm wed?
You say much more than the white gown,
I dread.
Red.
The petals on my bed.
The passion.
The love.
The words unsaid.

What if mirrors had been replaced.
Would you criticize your body?
Would you hate your face?
Oh what a wonder,
If we couldn't see ourselves.
Only each other.
Would green eyes still envy all?
Would your defenses fall?
Would you still try
The way we all do.
To be better than the person
Standing next to you.

Something I love.
Something I hate.
The white of a dove.
The fiery gate.
It can be about love,
Someone should've had.
It can be about lust
How it turned the good to bad.
When  I write.
I think to myself.
What am I compared to
Dust on the shelf.
A huge ugly clambering ogre
Or gentle giant looking over
Lines and lines of rhyming words.
A sing song tempo meant for birds.
In the end you will see
Writing does mean something to me.

I broke your heart.
Didn't I?
With every look
And every lie.
I'm sorry.
I am.
I'll say it again.
I'm sorry.
My friend.
I caused the end.
You were always there when I woke.
In turn, its was your heart I broke.
Did I know?
It was love.
I'm quite sure of that.
It was me I decided,
I would work at.
Too much
Too late
I met our fate.
Words are only so strong,
Losing meaning after too long.
Back to my apology
This tragically sad soliloquy.
I wish you the best
I'm ready and waiting
To give your heart some well deserved rest.
When you two are finished dating.

Isn't it odd.
People keep secrets.
A thousand envelopes.
Shut tight by two thousand signets.
Don't let them get out.
What a shame if they do.
We're afraid of people
Judging
Laughing.
Looking like a fool.
The funny thing is.
No matter who,
There are things people hide
From those near to them too.
Acceptance.
That's the word.
By word I mean world.
No soprano singing of a little girl.
You think she would sing if she chose it?
The problem here lies is that I'm a poet,
And no one I care about seems know it.

An Oxymoron making sense.
A criminal with no offense.
A slamming door shutting soft.
A hatless man, politely doffed.
A heart that's pieces stayed together.
A sad somebody's moment of blither.
Even at the darkest dawn.
Something in us carries on.
Life the way it truly is.
Not to pretend its full of bliss.
Little moments come and go.
Reminding what we already know.
Life is short sometimes sweet.
In the little happy, joyful moments,
Life is the treat.

My first pair of converse I couldn't wait to wear.
I look back now and see you're not there.

Naive and careless, I put them on with bare-feet.
Left blisters, sores, and a burning heat.

Now they fit quite perfect comfy and worn.
Unlike you, I'm left with this heart, broken and torn.

I remember that hot day
Things seemed to go my way.
Once you cared, my fears were at bay.

Temperatures change and so do things.
We were just a summer fling.

Seasons pass as you get older.
With the weather my heart gets colder.

Comparisons can **** you.
I struggle with them.
We all do.

Your views are distorted.
Expectations are shorted.

Could you see what I see,
There'd be no negativity.

Wish you could be like her?
Cool minded, tall, and thin like her?
So focused on her you lost yourself.

9 times out of 10.
She too does not have super thick skin.

Secrets hide, deep within.
Wishing she was pretty enough,
Skinny enough,
Tall enough,
All for him.

Girls don't know is they should wait.
For the guy worthy of a date.

If he loves you, he'll take you the way you are.
He won't leave a mental scar,
Of how you aren't enough.
Because you are.

still thinking she's better than you?
think again.

Everyone's great in their own way.
Don't ruin your day.
Making a comparison
That will tear you down.

You are your own.
You are enough.

Why be someone whom you are not?

Anger and hate brew in your heart.
Just a fire at the start.
Sparks will fly as the fire grows.
You ache inside to have it known.
You say emotions can't be shown.
Try and hide, with all your might.
The pain you feel, and the tears at night.
What you think is different than what i believe.
I love you friend.
I'll never leave.

When i see you i smile.
It doesnt matter my mood.
One look, and there's my positive attitude.
all i can do is stop and stare.
Mesmerized by those green eyes and brown curly hair.
Your eyes lock with mine.
Our hands intertwine.
With you its like nothing else.
I'll stay here forever in this moment.
Just you and I.
Hope to never say goodbye.

The loneliness is mostly gone.
The pain, however grows.
Sometimes i wonder...
Why am i even here?
Only God knows.
I ask him to take me everynight.
He doesn't want me
I'm still here right?

I remember being little.
Innocence.
When I was gentle with my words
And with the things my hand would hold
The way my cheeks would rose up from the cold.
Little fingers.
Little feet.
Sweet smiles snuck a treat.
Laughter and play.
Feeling safe in every way.
Seeing only the best in everybody.
Trusting everyone who came by.
Being held and needing a cuddle.
Splashing in a rain puddle.
Hearing, everything will be alright.
Bob Marley's motto tucked me in at night.
Being a princess is an actual occupation.
Thinking your parents aren’t scared of anything.
Believing in things that cannot be believed.
Having an imagination completely unperceived.
Finger painting.
Dancing.
Footy PJ's
Encouragement.
Laughter
Through all of my days.
Always feeling loved.
Never any doubts.
Bedtime stories.
Button noses.
I scream for ice cream shouts.
Soft whispers.
Tender touches.
Quiet kisses.
These are the things an adult misses.

Is this me?
Is this real?
I was free.
I used to feel.
Now it’s time,
to shed some light.
With a rhyme,
without fright.
If you knew,
just how it felt.
You’d feel blue.
You would melt.
Now imagine,
Please do.
Take a walk,
in my shoes.
I don’t want pity.
None at all.
Its just not pretty,
I try to crawl,
Away from all that makes me sad,
Because the good,
outweighs the bad.
Still sometimes it gets to me
and here’s what I have to share,
you see?
What would you do,
If you had your whole life
right in front of you?
Then all the sudden something changed.
A rash decision left you strained,
stressed and a mess,
but you pulled through,
and did your best.
Now someone else
depends on you.
Life’s no longer about yourself,
but your little one too.
That can be hard for the young to grasp,
Something that actually made me gasp.
Now I say we,
instead of I.
here’s the truth I won’t lie.
This is harder than it looks,
something you can’t learn in books.
At times it brings the greatest smile,
But it doesn’t always last awhile.
my life is great,
I hope im not misunderstood.
Yeah, sometimes I don’t say the things that I should.
I just don’t know how to let you in
And show you how I’ve really been.
I know others have troubles too,
And I try to help all of you.
I wish you would return the favor.
And try not to be so mean,
It’s not easy being a parent and a teen.

Am I a starving artist?
A mystery for you to uncover.
A poem I can sell to a stranger and another.
I cannot think of pages marked with ink.
Instead I'll paint a suffering lover.
There is no canvas alive with color.
Your love I crave it fills me with hunger.
Starve? maybe, but not that way.
Yes I am in decay.
Years may pass before I go under.
Eons while you have another.
How beautiful a writing for my love.
A starving artist isn't noticed 'til they're in heaven above.