I have become a mirror. Reflecting the smiles
of others. No thought is my own. Only a mesh
of arms that helped me up or held me down.
Essays traded for certificates. All science or
established old philosophies. I pilfer inner peace
from the Buddhists. I map my memories by
the names of streets. I eat my food from the
production lines. Maybe I should invent my
own language. Maybe then I will say things
differently. I will only draw in the dirt. Avoid
the arrogance of permanence. I would only
lose out to the weeds and meteorites in any case.
It has been two decades of a borrowed self.
Whatever was mine has been stolen long ago.

It's three a.m. & I am not asleep

How could I close my eyes to nights like these?

When thunder rumbles my ribcage and breathes an ache into my chest

Where water droplets drip onto my thoughts & liquefy them

Lightning coursing through my shaking veins

Every strike echoing & electrifying my brain

Chilly breaths that creep along my skin, serenading it

My cigarette with every pull more luminant

I've circumvented myself into side effects of hopelessness

The sounds of rain stripping me softly into submissive erosion..

Flirting with the devil
That lives within
Exciting and dangerous

sometimes
you have to do things
you don't want to do
because those things are necessary.

tonight im going to tell him
that we need to honestly act like
just friends.

We need to do this
so i don't get hurt in the end.
when we are at different colleges
and find other people.

i have to get over you
before that
because being away from you
will only cause me
to create you into someone
you are not.

this will be hard for me because
every fiber of my being
wants to kiss you.

i just pray
that i can get the words out tonight
and that its the right thing to do.

woke up wanting you.

Who ever knew
my best friend
would be a pen?