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  17h Lyle
eliana
You say you understand.
Oh do you now?
Do you know what its like to feel abandoned or betrayed?
Do you know what its like to be the one out of billions as a  mistake?
You don't understand, you just don't.  You don't know what its like to sit at the dinner table eating steak, acting like I am not about to just break. I try so hard to act like i'm this happy jolly kid who has an incredible life and family. But deep inside, Im this teenager who is falling apart day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second. Do you not realize what you've done to me? What you are doing to me? You keep me away locked up like im a cage without a key. Why cant you just let me be? So many questions i have that you can't answer, so many things that i can't fathom.  
Oh if only I wasn't a mistake.
i wrote this right now. i had some feelings i had to get out but ik  its not my best.
Lyle 1d
foot on the gas
engine roaring and humming
music blaring
you, in the passenger seat
my hands gripping the wheel
us, singing at the top of our lungs
"I'm sad in Carolinaaaa"
you, playing the air guitar
me, nodding my head to the bass
us united, a team again
you, looking happy once more
me, sad but singing along anyway
because I just like you happy
and I don't know when I'll get another chance
to see it again
Lyle 1d
depression is not your color
it doesn't look good on you
I can see the reflection
of depression wearing you thin
you're pushing everyone away
you're pushing ME away
and I am hating this so much
I don't know who you are
you aren't the goofy smile
and loud laugh I love
you're negativity, poison, betrayal
and it doesn't suit you
depression is not your color
Lyle 1d
we were supposed to be united
a team
us against the world
but you have betrayed me
I trusted you
so much
and I would have never done anything
like this to you
I guard your secrets with my heart
and you steal mine like they're yours
don't you care how you're hurting me?
haven't you seen how worried I've been about you?
you're not the same
the person I knew would never do this
I want you back
and the secrets you stole from me
I want them back
Lyle 2d
she is rain drops on tree bark
and sunshine in dark places
she gives chances to those
who don't want to leave
she places them in her shine
so they can see truth
she knows nothing but good
and light and music and art
she is you, evolved

she is the opposite of the one who resides
in the dark corners of your mind
the dark corners that glow eerily to life
only at night
the one who resides there
scrapes at your brain
with his long, crooked lies
he is medication uncurable
but not Daizee invincible

he whispers things into the corner of your mind
terrible things
guilty, guilty, guilty
but upon the arrival of the light
he can see through the fog
everything is translucent
and he whistles a new tune
loved, loved, loved
he now knows his time is up

no more will he pick at your skin
no longer will he cut at your identity
he has been replaced by an irrevocable light called Daizee
but she will not dispel him entirely
instead she looks at him
she sees him
she KNOWS him
she sees your whole life inside his eyes
but it's not all bad

and she knows no matter how much damage he caused
he cannot touch the one he lives inside
anymore
for now that she has arrived
she will protect you from the darkness
she is your nightlight
she is your rain
she is your trees
and she can never be reduced to a stump

so she locks pinkies with him
in a promise of a truce
for the sake of the one he has been killing
he stares into the beautiful light
he knows that he must stay
to leave would be to change you entirely
and you are loved too much with him included for him to do that
so he lives forever
not in darkness, but in the light of the one who saved him

Daizee
I love you and you are not alone. Daizee is with you now. And she will smother Fred in light if he acts up again.
  2d Lyle
Liana
And I'm cold in my bed
Tired
Pillow covered in tears because that's where they're used to falling
And I just want to be loved

And I know I am by my friends
And my family
But I want to be stuck in someone's head
And I want them to rub my arm and make me a little bit less cold
And maybe have my tears land on their shoulder instead

I want to be the poem and not the poet for once
Lyle 2d
it's hard to believe people love me
when I don't love myself
and once they are around me
there's no way they possibly can
because once I take the mask off
I'm no longer the "safe place"
they thought I was
instead
I'm the one who needs saving
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