A soul has much to profit
from the sweet pain of loving
that which most would *******
a loving heart does indeed cherish

You called me beautiful
said it was the only word
that could ever describe me.

You called me beautiful
And told me I was the reason
you got up every morning.

You called me beautiful
to make me stop crying
it worked for a while.

You called me beautiful
so I would open the door
and stop hiding from you.

You called me beautiful
so I wouldn't tell others
what you did.

You called me beautiful
even though I had bruises
and scars.

You called me beautiful
even though you were angry
because I wasnt sober anymore

You called me beautiful
but only in front of our friends
so they wouldn't worry about me.

You called me beautiful
so I would stay with you
I had to stay

You called me beautiful
until one day
then you didnt say anything.

I will pay you back someday, generous
a thousand times a day
I will be all you want me to be
but not just yet
I will, one day when I am older than today
look back and see you reaching out to keep me from falling away
and that day you will understand
a little something
of the world you thought you already knew.

a poem the way
I do
is to first turn
your heart
inside out

then
go a day
or two
with no
sleep

thinking
of
optional words
and rhymes
until

you pull your
hair out
and don't
take a bite
of food

the whole
******* time
and smoke ten
packs of
cigarettes

waste the day
your apartment
all filled
up with
crumpled paper

and beer cans
and butts
and your answering
machine
full