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May 2015 · 410
Vantage Point
Lucy Tonic May 2015
Fate will find you on a still, moon-filled night
Lying on the shores of a black pool of ink
So you dip your pen in, and then you begin
To slowly lose your ability to think
But chaos bubbles up, the reversal of all order
The mind begins being pulled apart by the senses
Desires may enter your ocean but should never move it
Still, in the daylight, the urges are relentless
So I pray, let me be pale-faced
By a white dwarf illumination
Let me lie in a dreamless state
Process of elimination
And when my nightmares are relinquished
I’ll chant something like OM
Wishing I’ll return to the stars
My one and only home
Where’s your vantage point
In the empty jungle of space
Lick, chew, ****, swallow
The moon contains our taste
So are you here to conquer,
Destroy or explore?
Find the baby in the bubble
And open up the door
May 2015 · 716
Bubblegum Dread
Lucy Tonic May 2015
This is the theatre of bubblegum dread
A daily dose of drama for your head
Mythic proportions, gloomy with steam
It made the top ten in your dreams
Avant-garde and ancient still
Calm but violent is his will
Here’s a dose for your blood and spine
Subtract those who ain’t alive
Apocalyptic, judging sneer
Fields of green by yellow smeared
Pure expressions of existence and joy
But school is out, no more films or ploys
Surrender to the unwaking moments
Soul of a clown, basked in loneliness
Psychological heart trip-up
Be careful or you might get stuck
Storms roll by when you’re with your cosmic mate
A chess game for the ******, a wave to fate
Drowned the lizard in a make-believe Rhine
It only cost you about three dimes
May 2015 · 400
27
Lucy Tonic May 2015
27
Stadium of rock, stone in my boots
Rolling boulders with my amulet noise
This is my sixth limb, rather my extension
Watch me roar, shake this gorge
I ****** the peasants, the Pharisees and lords
They gave me the spotlight , I gave them my creed
A mutual yet flimsy roll of the dice
But I promise, at night, I put my halo back on
I promise, at night, I say my little prayers
And when I weep, I weep salty tears
And when I ride the snake
Amidst the purple haze
Like a flower in the sun,
I think about a girl

The journey, the chaos
The spiral, the fluid knot
A gamble with Saturn
But oh, to be the vessel
I should have sensed
A lottery changing hands
But not in recompense
Past the fiery sixes, swept up in seven's bliss
Rolling with the eight-***** , now clenched in nine's fist
But deep inside its dour palm
Lies a truth-
It won't be long
(The first cut is the deepest,
The last scar is Eden-bound)
May 2015 · 633
The Sickle & The Hourglass
Lucy Tonic May 2015
Dancing like the ancients
From a potent wine
All those deep in slumber
Move their lips in time
The paramour is exiled
In suffering she grows
While the crowd of people loud
Harbor sins of old
The cosmic wheel keeps turning
Hardened hearts’ its fuel
The soul gains scar tissue
The judgment is too cruel
For those that go astray
Like wild children roam
Will be removed like cancer
For the curse that’s in their bones
Stubborn is the ruler
Who loses his right mind
When future grace is pointless
Death will seem too kind
The glass beads of Manhattan
The sickle and the hourglass
What on earth cannot be purchased?
What on earth has no dim past?
We circle our own planets
Like yielding specks of rock
For if we walk off our timeline
The void awaits unlocked
May 2015 · 557
Per Aspera Ad Astra
Lucy Tonic May 2015
From the mud to the stars we sail
Space derelicts that fight troubles well
Running errands intergalactic
Treating travel like a punchbowl in hell

Turpitude rules in the hearts of the sane
New worlds don’t blend in the stem of the brain
Heavenly elixirs must be then taken
Lest those from below come up and take reign

Drawn to the beaches till the hurricanes come
Hostage and accomplice then become one
Psychic peace is violated
When worldly beauty weighs a ton

The wicked are estranged from the womb
Plucked out of the cosmos like a plume
Immense forces battle for worldly power
All that’s seen returns to the tomb
May 2015 · 413
To Fall Asleep in a Dream
Lucy Tonic May 2015
The devil waltzes into your dreams dressed like your heroes
As his demons do paint by numbers starting with zero
Or maybe it’s an angel disguised as your white lust
A messenger who gives you jewelry, diamonds, and dust
Quite possibly it could be God offering a promise ring
He silences the mighty and makes the meek to sing
Or perhaps it’s just a sad-man cloaked in all your myths
Here to give you a warning about the power of a kiss

You see the thing with dreams is, you never have a say
Of who’ll decide to sneak up, leave, hang or stay
Still all the players and the prophets come from your head
You seek up all infinity from the confines of your bed
But really all you’re doing is watching a short film
Of you existing somewhere else with different laws and limbs
So levitate or ******* or just create- it’s all the same
Every me and every you, a pawn in our own game
May 2015 · 726
The Ugly Sweater Party
Lucy Tonic May 2015
I try not to be too serious
And I dress pretty casual
I may not be a porcelain butterfly
But I'm still extremely fragile

My bleeding heart could burst
If I found out you had something to hide
Do I belong on your wall of caskets
Or am I a burn victim inside your lies

Your disguise is disarming
I find this alarming
You could charm the wits off anyone

You're good to me it seems
You say you're on my team
But in dreams you do me wrong

You and your chemicals
Me and my smoke
Mix up the two
Turn a grey sky blue

You and your promises
Me and my mistakes
Mix up the two
And I'm left confused

You love me with your eyes....
You **** me with your eyes....
May 2015 · 686
Blueberry Wine
Lucy Tonic May 2015
I went to the market-place today
Spices and sweet music in the month of May
But something inside me stirred-
I saw all the tables and wanted to topple them over

My past will make you doubt my spirit
My future's a black hole
I can't help but feel a war raging
For who gets to keep my soul

Cause once I felt the venom in my veins
I knew nothing would be the same
I'm clenched inside Satan's fist
Just like my tongue when it met his lips
And anytime I search for something free
I always wake up with blue-stained teeth

I went to the convenience store today
Advertisements heavier than the sun's glare
And something inside me stirred-
When a stranger didn't hold the door for me

My past makes me doubt my future
And the present is all shadowplay
I can't help but feel a war raging
Between the long nights and the short days

Cause I know once I get the antidote
It will land me in chains on that boat
The serpent is wrapped around my wrist
Just like my heart when I denied his kiss
And everytime I search for something free
I always wake up with blue-stained teeth
(What a perfect contrast to the blood I bleed)
May 2015 · 416
Pain-Body
Lucy Tonic May 2015
The days burn long than short
Like the trashcan I set on fire
While dancing manically in my room
Alone but alive
Those were the best days of my life
Alone & unafraid
Alone, even with them by my side
I know you think you stole from a spoiled home
But you fed on the powerlessness of a fragile soul
Are you happy now that you got what you wanted?
Got what you came for?
Is the score still far from even?
Cause I made friends with some black convicts today
Their stripes glistening in their habitat
But all I can do is pump music in my veins,
And maybe something a little stronger, with your help
But you walked away from me
Once you got what you wanted
"Marry me" is a plea of pain
It would have been a red wedding...
Can't believe I'm back here again
Black is all I see, and I know you like pepper
But do you have more salt to pour?
You put the fire out.
(Was that really you, or your pain-body?)
May 2015 · 635
Fish Tank
Lucy Tonic May 2015
Sackcloth on the tenterhook
Birdfeeders or birdlime
What is above must be holy
Cause 666 is time

The letter kills unless it’s
Written on the human heart
The martyrs win their crowns
And another life to start

There’re fresh waters above the heavens
But the lake of fire must be brimming
We’re all in the fish tank
Whether we’re sinking or swimming

The bridal city made of jasper
Gives babies eloquent tongues
The beauty penetrates my bones
The crystal air fills my lungs

But while we’re still on earth
The ancient sinner waits
Mocking the ignominy of our flesh
And using us as bait
May 2015 · 556
Holy Ghost
Lucy Tonic May 2015
Torn out of heaven by my friends
To see a boy about a girl
Falling asleep to a backwards sun
Are the rulers of the world

So gather two of every animal
Holy Ghost you should clutch
We’ve been christened with fire
So hell wouldn’t hurt as much

And the dreams we forget
Tend to hold the keys
To a place found in death
That overshadows memory

So gather two of every animal
Holy Ghost you should clutch
We’ve been christened with fire
So hell wouldn’t hurt as much
May 2015 · 1.3k
The Undercover Café
Lucy Tonic May 2015
The sun shines angry
The rain brings truth
I know some of the answers
But I still need proof

A Dionysian craving
Caused the switch to flip
And slowly but surely
Time’s thread began to rip

They tell you how to look
How to feel, how to be
But everyone knows
Freedom’s not free

They’re all about teamwork
To scare, taunt, alarm me
I’m just about dreamwork
Myself with no army

It will end in a fog
A torrential downpour
And only in the end
Will you know the score

Hell is a nightmare
Heaven is a dream
Your words are the former
The latter is a sky-beam
May 2015 · 528
The Gardener of Eden
Lucy Tonic May 2015
The gods beckon you to join the party
But revelry waits in dark corners
The Gardener of Eden is displeased
And now you’re flying without wings
The naked and cunning never feel
Pressure from above
For the rest it’s almost unlivable
Psychic earthquakes blur the love
Will there be sympathy for the serpent
When the future dies?
As Lilith rises in rebellion
Far from normal in his eyes
It feels like liquid diamonds
But it’s Hotel California
A 50-50 shot
A flip of the coin

Music is the foliage of the soul
Imperfect and irreplaceable
Two different unconnected people
Linked in time to one strange vessel
The ants watch the stars
Cause the stars need attention
To shine a little bit brighter
Make night a little bit lighter
Sigh your last breath
Breathe your first sigh
Space is not the final frontier
Soon these lows will become highs
May 2015 · 692
Waiting for Grace
Lucy Tonic May 2015
Once upon a time
There was a kaleidoscope of colors
But I only longed to see the white light
I was waiting for grace
Soon it was med-time before bed-time
And a bunch of pills under the mattress
And an insatiable *** drive
Coupled with a sweet tooth
Speak now or forever hold your vices
Dream of the wise men, the stars and the spices
The promises we keep even after death
As everything breaks down in a red bubble bath
Pillow fights and report cards
Off-white lab coats and crazy blondes
Only the end of the book knows best
Even God needed rest
Slit vertical and split the scars
Go and begin your journey to the stars
Sweat out your demons or pray that they beat you
Hope that the friendliest shark will eat you
Ride the wild horses into the darkness
Gaze at the twisted Mandela on the ceiling
Fight the minister in a wrestling match
Self-destruct once more, this time with feeling
My Pangaea ultima is falling apart
As the plate tectonics inside me collide
The craters on my skin outweigh the Grand Canyon
With nothing to lose, pain is a landslide
A chemical imbalance, a childhood trauma,
An improper diet, heterosexual drama-
It might seem dysfunctional at the end of it all
But some were meant to fly, I was meant to fall
May 2015 · 1.2k
Untitled III
Lucy Tonic May 2015
Like a ***** on a blood buzz
That surrendered to the dragon
Like Jupiter in a strange land
Water colors and cannibals
Like lemon world, minus candy
And true promise and false let-downs
Like McCandless or a Thoreau
Down a river lacking mystic
Like a soldier safe from harm's way
Watching pen-pals throw big grenades
Like echoes heard from a black hole
Filled with demons and Madonna's
Like an idea in a time warp
Full of castles and time capsules
Like a fire burning brightly
By Eskimos throwing blankets
Like Orestes punished greatly
By loud sirens in double-bind
Like a big world in alignment
With a spindle made of chaos
Like paisley love remaining still
While new age brings adhesive hate
Like a black swan, last unicorn
Asleep during apocalypse
Like kind vultures killing a beast
Because his stripes were too crooked
Like a family unforgiving
Of an angel born of their blood
Like a bad cough in a clear throat
Of a drunk God with bronchitis
May 2015 · 588
Cecelia
Lucy Tonic May 2015
French sirens in her head
Pink flowers on the bed
Pale and faded
Bruised and jaded
A cycle of spooks and delights

Heart is a question mark
Tree is full of sparks
Blue angel wings
Birds that don’t sing
The sandman is her best friend

Exhausted with heaven on earth
Tracing her steps back to birth
How do things grow
When time moves so slow
She’s watering her own garden

Now the bathtub calls her name
Mystery, no longer her bane
A kite flying in the sky
A curious lullaby
She now knows the meaning of life
May 2015 · 421
Anti-Observer
Lucy Tonic May 2015
When you look at me
All you see is a mess
That needs to be pronounced
So you talk in code
Thinking I don’t know
I’m the prey that needs to be pounced on

But if I had you in the palm of my hand
I wouldn’t crush you
Or put you under the lens
This soul is just not built for revenge

Yeah if I had you in a jar
I wouldn’t judge you
Or mock you from afar
I’d set you free to play amongst the stars

Yeah if the roles were reversed
And I was the blessing
And you were the curse
I’d come in last just so you could be first

But the birds are chained to the sky
And my heart’s tangled in webs
And while you’re out playing
I’m working on the dreams in my head

Cause all I ever wanted
Was to make someone like you proud
But at the end of the day
You go back to your friends; I go back to my cloud
May 2015 · 404
She Will Be Bad
Lucy Tonic May 2015
She wears a mask, strong and confidant
But inside she’s a scared little girl
And everything she has is resting on a house of cards
And just the tiniest gust of wind could blow everything over
She’s walking in a land of personal turmoil
And she has a big infusion
Of some grand delusions
That tell her she should be bad
Cause the world is too real, too harsh
And it hurts to breathe
And she wonders if one moment of adventure
Is worth a lifetime of despair
Cause the candle blew out when she saw the palm reader
And she fears the worst is yet to come
And her only friends are the stars
But the one inside her is collapsing in on itself
Cause God make her pure with
A past of unforgivable mistakes
And her light is androgynous so no one can see it
Her inner spark has become a grenade
And the man in the moon was swallowed by the tides
Controlled by the woman who owns the satellite
And night or day, in sun or in snow,
Nature tells her she will be bad
That which is lost
Can’t always be found
She will be good
When she’s put underground
Apr 2015 · 451
I Am Ashes
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
I reckon I hear the call
Let's get lifted as we fall
Expose your soul as an innocent monster
It beckons to us all

You contain the kind of laughter that
Disguises many shades of tears
What happens when love is your master
Pulsing through your veins and years

Already walking in shadows
But you kept me in the dark
Looking for a familiar pattern-
A star, a scar, a spark

As I was wounded and hurting
Looking for dessert for the deserted
I lit a fire-
But it burnt the forest down

Now we are both sad clowns
Working our way through the wreckage-
Someone shuffled the deck
And all the hearts went missing
Apr 2015 · 741
Absorption Lines
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
I just wanted you to show up
You just wanted a show
You just wanted me to grow up
I just wanted to grow
Except this time you see
Desire hanging from the tree
And this time I see
Fear twirled around my knees
And you always remember
The ones who succeed
And I always recall
The ones falling free
Guess you’re lounging by the hub
And I’m swinging on the rim
You need to be immersed in it all
I need to learn to swim
You surround yourself with glamour
While I play in thunderstorms
You attack my ugly wounds
But your beauty sure has thorns
Now I just want a show
And you just want to grow up
For I am you and you are me,
Wedded to each other’s calamity,
Until this big world blows up
Apr 2015 · 588
Tangled
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Temporary satisfaction
Split my soul into factions
My love for him is a fraction
Compared to this guilt reaction
And now hatred spreads
Like the fear here in this bed
Now a demon grows instead
Of the peace held in my head
Tangled to the tree
Powerless and “free”
Tangled to the tree
With a million souls to feed
Apr 2015 · 318
Silly Girl
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Love and hate and black and blue and scars and stars and everything that's you
From picking flowers to cocktail hours, something doesn't fit, and it's your shoe
But you were never Cinderella, even with wallpaper yellow and the news
Your eyes are glazed, you're in a haze, lost in the maze they made with a stick of glue

What happens when tomorrow is a world away?
Why can't the sun shine at night?
How come history's never right?
When will you come out of this phase?

Cause if it's gonna last forever, I know you want out
There's a tick-tock in your head, and your faith has turned to doubt
If they only knew all the advertisements were giving you ideas
They'd cut out all the nonsense and say what you need to hear

(A girl must be ugly
A girl mustn't shine like the sun
A girl must make herself a boy
A girl must be no one)
Apr 2015 · 384
Silly Girl (Pt. 2)
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
She wakes up and sees the stamp on her wrist from last night's musical revelry and in harsh daylight it looks like a bar-code for Babylon. She stupidly talks about her travel plans and the next day mother nature takes thousands of lives and she thinks its her fault. She buys both brands of luck from the thrift shop and knows it's hotel California, just like her life. She tries to remember, but every trigger suppresses something in her mind. She used to have 20/20 vision until she got a piece of gravel in her eye; she's been walking blind ever since. And she wonders when unconditional love turned political. And she wonders why the whole coast is so cynical. And she knows a "ghost" stole her lighter. She knows the clock is wrong. She knows she needs a compass.
Apr 2015 · 525
Big Words
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Words were silver
I should have known
Shiny, specific, big big words
To match your ***** motives
But I know now what finger
That ring was meant to be on
Your heart was always elastic
You poked a hole in plastic
How silly of me to think
That you simply had needs
Now I have to sit and wait
And pray that I bleed
Apr 2015 · 376
Anatomy of Laughter
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Laughter
The kind that's not ghastly or cruel
The kind that doesn't make you feel like a fool
The kind that doesn't come from demons or ghouls
The kind that travels from your gut to your heart
The kind that unites people two worlds apart
The kind that makes your smile hurt, belly ache- the kind that leaves a mark

I don't remember this kind of laughter
But I would give anything to feel its echo
Cause this kind of laughter isn't amusing
Unless it's a non-stop marathon where beer spills out your nose

And laughter of this purity leaves a ripple in time
Beyond memory, break-ups, make-ups, wrinkles, and clock-chimes
Even if you forget it, it remains in your soul
You'll see it in your cosmic movie- floating out of charity's bowl
Apr 2015 · 443
Home-Schooled Love
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
I want you to make me feel mysterious
I want you to make me feel fearless
Both out in the world and in your arms
I want me to make you feel powerful
I want me to make you feel vulnerable
Both out in the world and in my arms

We both know, I'm too sensitive for my own good
We both know, you're too restless for your own good
We both know, our destiny is for the greater good

I need you to hold my hand
I need you to read my words
Both in the moment and out of this world
I need me to be your rock
I need me to be your muse
Both in the moment and out of the blue

We both know, we're both linked to the hex
We both know, on every level we connect
We both know, there's intimacy greater than ***

So let's not pretend
Let's bend the rules
Let's fend for ourselves
Let's amend our commitment
Create a home-school for love
Apr 2015 · 517
Pulse
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Pulse is racing
As radio plays a dirge
Can't feel a heartbeat
As dead as these words
Night once provided cover
Now it gives fever chills
But belonging to no other
No choice but TV and pills
The regime is closing in
The captain gave her orders
Holy Moses can't contribute aid
Already passed the border

So don't tell me you'll mourn me
Don't put roses on my grave
Just give me a grain of solace now
I liked sunflowers better anyway

Don't doubt my imagination
Don't tell me it's in my head
Just give me release from indecision
And the machinery in my bed

Don't tell me to go into the light
Cause my heart's been there all along
But my mind has always adored the shadows
Can you tell me where I belong?
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Must be on another planet
No way Earth has this much pull
Gravity serves a purpose
But it's dragging me down to hell
No one believes me-
When I talk or when I write
So what's the point?
Trying to avoid the knife
Don't have the luxury to repress notions
Depressing emotions
Could fill an entire ocean
Can't numb them with numbers
Cause I don't have the cash
So it's a roller coaster of black back-to-back
Cause if I had access to excess
The demons would go to sleep
And I could create something dissonant and harsh
Like only a freak would know how
But elation never lasts
Only my head which inflates like a balloon
But never stops until it reaches the moon
But it's already been there,
Says the craters on my skin
Now it's bound there like Prometheus
A wo-man outstretched like a star
But never to shine like one
Apr 2015 · 426
Visions and Revisions
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
I am a masculine goddess
I am a patriarch with an unborn child
I am a black sheep with the wings of a swan
I am not graceful, I am not ******
When you find me most amusing, I'll use you as my muse
When you play games with me, I'll pretend I don't have a clue
I am everything and I'm nothing
I know everything and I know nothing
I'm never in bloom; but I'm not the thorn you ***** your finger on
I grow like weeds, pretty in color, that you feel the need to destroy,
But I keep coming back
You try to stick me in maze while you harvest the corn
But I recognize the seasons of both sowing and reaping
I'm a crooked tree with branches reaching out towards the sun
I know the end will come, I know all things are one
Spirituality turns me on, and I can smell black magic a mile away
I know the art of getting by
And I know how to feed the fire with words spoken from a pure heart-
This is my gun with many bullets and only one chamber
This is me-
I live and die through each and every moment....
You can always visualize your revisions.
But you can't revise your visions.
Apr 2015 · 890
Infect
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Cold all the time
Even in the warmth
Anemia or ghosts hovering?
Would explain the attraction to fire
Why couldn't I be a gambler
Or a midnight rambler
Have a good disease
Instead it's you, him, her, them
My disease is other people
I infect and make them addicts to my tear ducts
Fear hides and ducks, but it's always here
Apr 2015 · 485
Part One (The Pier)
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
I met you at the pier, and your shadow was red, but the contrast of the blue ocean made me feel symmetrical in the moment. You made me feel like quiet was the new loud; that this wasn't going to be "kiss and tell," even if there was a lack of fireworks in a dark room but mention of them on paper in harsh daylight. I never heard your heartbeat. Was that a sign? Cause when I finally felt it I felt the void in you, which in turn made me feel the void in me. Still, I didn't think your heart was capable of binding me like you bound your notebooks. But you mixed the chemicals right. And I do remember drowning, both voluntary and not. Just like I remember the eels. Just like I remember the cold. Just like I remember hearing the celebration above with a mouthful of salt. I've always been a fish out of water. So maybe I belong with the M.D.'s.
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
He sang, "Soul mates never die"
And I thought of why
I never deserved one like you
We were far from perfection
We avoided the reflection
That the outside world at us threw
But I want you to know
You're the closest I ever came
To knowing how it feels to be alive
Even at my lowest you made me feel high
And he sang, "Love is watching someone die"
And I thought about all the bleak hospital stays
But also of how you held my hand through all my little deaths
Lending me your spirit through each and every breath
And now that we're at the peak of the ultimate test
I want to promise you that if you need sleep, I'll give you rest
If you need passion, I'll give you all my fire
If you crave a quick fix, I'll quench your desires
If you need friendship, I'll give you love
I'll always give you love, cause that's how it began
We don't have to define ourselves or play pretend
We shouldn't have to care if to others we don't make sense
Cause we both know the puzzle pieces fit
We are both losers, weirdos and misfits
And the world will never know our story
Cause we are entwined through shame and through glory
Apr 2015 · 581
Sorcerers
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
There once was a war between magic and religion. And for awhile, religion won...But hidden in plain sight, hidden in suburbia, are sorcerers. They'll talk to your pets. Pinch your arm. Persuade you to buy a certain brand of cigarettes. They'll leave you tokens. They'll give you clues. They'll wear your clothes. They'll break into your house and move things around just to freak you out. All in coded language. Everything is in a code. They have a way with words. They are master manipulators. They will be facetious. They claim to side with nature, but will use technology against you. They'll do voodoo in your bedroom while you sit there pretending not to notice. They are masters in the game of mind-*******. You won't find them in mansions, though. They prefer the veil of middle-class squalor...I am not waging war against magic, cause even Jesus might be considered a magician...But Jesus was out to heal, while they are out to harm. The more you speak of their powers, the more they use them. I'm stupid but I can't pretend to be dumb...And I believe true magic lies in the power of a pure heart- no matter how broken your halo is. I may have no guardian angel anymore, but I spoke to one, as have they. I know I may never feel the shelter of an angel's wings, just as I may never enter dreamless sleep. The hourglass has never been in my favor. I know how amusing this is to them, and how ironic it is to me....Religion and magic run parallel; except one is always repulsed by the other.
Apr 2015 · 493
Spy? Sage! Fire!
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
All week long I could not remember what day it was. But today the calendar spoke loud and clear. It's Sunday. The day of rest. But there is no rest for my mind. And as I write this down in red ink, ironically the only ink I could find, I can't help but think of a song, and how Sundays aren't a day of rest for many. And I don't mean those who labor for money. I mean those that spin webs. This is the season they come alive- unlike me, who dies every season but is never reborn. "I have died, I will die, it's alright, I don't mind."...You mentioned red color schemes- the shade of blood- and all I could think about was your black schemes and how you're good with a knife. I thought I made my mind up about instinct, but that's easy under candlelight. Then you turned the pseudo-suns on and as you touched all my in-valuables, I wondered how malleable you think I am. Molding me slowly with your contradicting words, taking pictures of the doors and windows to a house that's not a home with a band-aid over your nose, manically mapping out your revenge....You're not the first fair-weather friend and you won't be the last...I saw your eyes. And I saw your head turn at the signal of a word. Figures- everyone in these parts are related. Whispering literal sweet Nothings in my ear. A hell of a lot can change in years. Of course, this could all be in my head. But nothing of sweetness was really said, was it? And you'll know I'll dig deeper...to figure out who is the artist and who is the ambulance. So I hope now your mouth is free of anything clean...Now that you know the ins and outs of me. Look at that, I barely rhymed. Your turn this time.
Apr 2015 · 577
Soulstice
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
It was the longest of days
It was the shortest...
Spring is blazing dull
A fire pit of icicles
Brutal suggestion in the day
Gentle persuasion under the moon
Crippling voices turn to static
As bodies melt in heat
As bodies melt in sleep
Spin the hands on the clock
Like you spin the bottle
Smash it on the floor
As you blow a kiss to Saturn
Avoiding your reflection as you
Walk upon the shards of daggers
Just like you ignored her mouth
While kissing her lips of poison
Never changing with the seasons
Just adapting to the temperature
Of a soul the color of chaos
Of a heart with no price tag but massive debt
Laying out bread crumbs
With words as your bait
Like a senile, crooked tree
Trying to divorce its fate
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Bullshit Detector
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
You're such a good ******* detector
But I'm the one that's defective
I can't tell if you're an ally
Or an undercover detective

Cause around these parts
The air is toxic
It's **** or be killed
With a dash of pretzel logic

All we've ever known was apathy
And all we've ever felt was confused
So we popped pills and hit the bottle
Using to avoid feeling used

But you're an artist
You make up stories
I can't tell if I fascinate you
Or if you find me boring

I don't want to be a prop
To occupy your hours
I don't want to be your pet
With you holding all the power

Most of all, I don't want to be manipulated
By the impulses of those that whisper in your ear
I just want friendship reciprocated
I need words that are sincere

So please excuse my insecurities
But you knew what you were getting into
I'm the fragile, broken cargo
Of a bird that never flew
Apr 2015 · 485
Alien-Nation
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Three silver cars, don't drink the water
this land is your land, red wagons
with noise and cruel laughter as a noose
shadows of birds- hallucinations
don't drink the water- you're in alien nation
hammer in the nail--pound, pound, pound away at my sanity
the Mad hatter was a schizophrenic shaman--
all a leader needs is a follower
society not meant for this animal
angelic minds deflowered by....
tattoos influence your fate--
own the kingdom or wear the crown
deny your true identity and society will make one up for you
"if the shoe fits"
will technology and nature ever be lovers? sometimes opposites don't attract
first cig of the day is always the best--then its downhill with a black lung
we find value in being robbed as we're robbed of our....
billionaires are lucky cause they get first dibs on a new planet...
purgatory is septia-toned
they turn you on, they get you in, until you drop out of your own free will
alienation
fake flowers last forever
the world's in such a fever it can't see straight
the movie reel is static--run, run, run
the tame beasts and wild birders are coming to feed
Apr 2015 · 703
Cake Light
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
The need to feel alive and numb
Causes time to fly
We let the witches **** our thumbs
While we lived in cake light

The bluebird in the home is an omen
The blackbird in the heart is a prayer
One will bring you death through pleasure
One will bring you truth through despair

So watch as the flame levitates
From the ceiling to the floor
Feel the warmth light up your face
As you wish upon an open door
Apr 2015 · 402
Second Hand
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
The condensation on your lips
Lets me know that you’re still breathing
In conversation you have slipped
In my brain I must be bleeding
The fornication known as bliss
Leaves your shell open and seething
Just tell me who I have to kiss
To make this news somewhat relieving

The captain has jumped the ship
Now we’re swimming for the shore
I’m drowning but you sure know how to float along
Can only take such doom in doses
Small, aloof and precocious
And you smile as the water fills my lungs

Your words are second hand
Somehow your smile’s right on time
How’s that conscience taste
Without a hint of the divine
Give me honesty
Or give me a goodbye
There goes another chain breaking
Another nursery rhyme
Apr 2015 · 486
Petal Storm
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Sexually violent slang she spurts out in wit
In the cut of red dresses the surgery split
A piece of stained hay in a polished needle stack
He cleaned her out swiftly from front to the back

Flirting here is part of the ritual
Student becoming teacher is habitual
Expressing one’s vision down to a stitch
Makes the writer the only honorable snitch

The summer’s thick heat reminds her of snow
A moist thicket of lips dissolving so slow
Raindrops blur the monochrome lights
As she walks by herself in the city of night

Victims of the flesh pierce every inch of her eyes
She dreams of her Magdalene and future love child
Disarticulated amid sentences of poise
She never screamed so no one heard the noise
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Tilting Windmills
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
These pastels have gotten paler
You refuse to pale in comparison
I'm a tourist
As I mend the stitching of your soul
And watch you lose control
And somehow this song
Makes it personal
Makes it orbital
Makes French sirens
Sound like butterfly wings
An exotic vacation
No beaches needed
As we disco dance
In a trance of city lights
Resounding from the cove
Of secret species' who
Never do as their told
My body still aches
But I killed a prehistoric fish today

All is well if you keep
Sticking me with pins
I've already had the needles
I've already had a phallus
To suspend all their malice
Yet I still breathe warm-blooded
And cold
***** me before I ***** you
Survival of the fittest Adam’s and Eve’s
You’re all the things I want but don’t need
My seed is your worst enemy
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
At the moment of choice
I faltered
Now there needs to be a sacrifice
At their altar

But before I go
Headfirst into the unknown
I need you to see
The true colors of me

You knew I was sensitive
To the threats in the cafeteria
But do you realize
We were all once bacteria?

I'll take the blame
For how I've made you hurt
But is it my fault that I haven't evolved
Past my time as a bug in the dirt?

I know your heart burns
And suicides need revenge
They shouldn't reside next to the daily weather
They should be mystically erected like Stonehenge

I know you feel like all the pain
Is on your side of the fence
I'm just going with my gut here
I'm just trying to make sense

I have a feeling I met her once
In a hostile, sterile place
Don't remember what I said to her
But in those walls, I let no one into my true head space

I have birthmarks on my ears
And when I was young, I stepped on a toad
One could be a sign of something miraculous
One could be a sign of a wicked, wretched road

I know your people value the color red
I know you protect those with wings
But like Saint Augustine said,
All birds have their origins in the sea

I know you cast your spells
While I say my prayers
Magic and religion were once one
Till divided on a truth or dare

The soul of the world is nourished
By happiness, sadness and envy
Our desires came from the Universal Soul
Even if they caused a frenzy

Even though Lisa said it didn't matter
I have one last thing to say before I'm done
The soul of the one you love is everywhere around you
Even if Earth is the third planet from the sun
(ALL THINGS ARE ONE)
Apr 2015 · 543
Teardrop Hunters
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
They come to you when you weep
They enter your dreams when you sleep
They come from a place known as the Deep
They are hunters who use your salty tears to reap
All your sins
All your broken promises
All your faults
All your misdeeds
They carry their keep to the big empty
To feed the aliens, the cacti and the dusty weeds
The leftovers get poured into a stream
Which runs into the river
Which flows into the ocean
So as you look up at the clouds
In a state of love or fear
Remember that they're made of
All your recycled and discarded tears
So dance in the rain
Hear the passion of the thunder
And don't be afraid to cry
Open your mouth and taste the wonder
Of nature's pain,
The strange and insane,
The wild and the tame,
The cycle of loss and gain
Apr 2015 · 364
Death of a Hearse
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Stitch these angry limbs
Before they lead us to ruin
Disengage the dancing mind
Like secrets in an empty room

The mask is coming off
Peeling air like a spinning top
Cut the cord of certainty
Till the cold wind rushes in

You hurt yourself again
Trying to dig deeper
To implode and expand
Like the universe’s keeper
Apr 2015 · 342
X
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
X
I hate these walls
And I hate this town
And I no longer want
To be around here or anywhere
So my mind goes to bathtubs
And kitchen knife drawers
And the pile of rope
Dad left on the floor
And medicine cabinets
An a brown paper bag
With a short note attached

What will it be?
Option A, B or C
I never was good at choosing
When it comes to me
I try to shut it off
Try to make the grand leap
But before I know it
I’ve fallen back asleep
Apr 2015 · 764
Tug O’ War
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
There’s a war raging on outside my back door
There’re wars running wild across the seas
But the one war that really aches my core
Is the one going on inside of me

It’s a war between the bitter and the sweet
The heart and the head
The feet and the knees
It’s a war between the wants and the needs
The ocean and the sky
The blood and the bleed

There’s a war raging on outside my back door
There’re wars running wild across the seas
But the one war that really aches my core
Is the one going on inside of me

What mirrors of sickness breed
In the tug o’ war between the sleep and the dreams
Cruelty of the bed, mercy of the sheets
Pain of a body with the soul of a beast
Apr 2015 · 549
Sadness or Euphoria
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Devil plays whisper down the lane
Jump, drown, crawl or don’t remain
Meanwhile back in my own brain
I’m eating grass and drinking the ocean

Devil makes everyone the same
Reciting verse from books of Cain
Meanwhile back in my own brain
I’m flying without wings in motion

Devil’s play is always work
Recruiting souls who love to hurt
Meanwhile the last me becomes first
A subtle, strong and strange old notion

Devil’s roots are in the dirt
Making all our dreams inert
Meanwhile my heavy heart it burns
A side effect of earthly potions

Devil has gardens full of weeds
Where one plus one equals three
Meanwhile I’m down on my knees
Suffering the world for my devotion
Apr 2015 · 516
Fruitless
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
Day terrors and inside jokes
They’re the ones that love you the most
They cast the net
You learn to forget
Wonder if it’s the same coast to coast
It’s a grave situation
Enslaved in a smile
Honesty can’t be seen for miles
So what do you do
The past never feels new
The future feels fruitless
Your soul’s black and blue

But it has to get better
Cause even hate rusts
The dust in the hourglass
Never moves fast enough
And if you were a teacher
You could teach pain
All the heartbreak in the world
In every single drop of rain
Apr 2015 · 267
Stage Left
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
X marks the spot
I almost forgot
The end is near

Thanks for the reminder
You could’ve been much kinder
Now it’s crystal clear

My control is spinning
To you, this is fun
You know you’re winning
Perhaps you’ve already won

Spies everywhere
Wish I didn’t care
Pictures aiming to destroy
The girl within my boy

Still remember what he said
The man of mystery
As I lay here in bed
“Soon you’ll be history”
Apr 2015 · 531
Flesh Wounds
Lucy Tonic Apr 2015
My heart's been recycled
My heart's been put in the trash
My heart's been used and abused
My heart's been traded for cash

My veins have been poked and pricked
My veins are green and blue
My veins form a weird omen shape
Like a death-eater's tattoo

I used to have quick reflex
Could catch flying objects
Now all I can do is text
Under technology's hex

I used to be normal
Till someone took a picture
Now defined by the mystery down under
Defined by a strange tincture

My skin has been burned and scarred
By accidents, aging and stress
My skin covers up my skeleton
But it crawls every time I get undressed

My brain has something wrong with it
My brain is the cura and the curse
My brain's been scanned, fried, almost lobotomized
My right-brain is the drunk co-pilot, my left brain's in my purse

I used to be wild and vain
Now I'm sensitive and insane
In this trade-off what remains?
Flesh wounds for angels' slain
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