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  Mar 2024 Lucy S Draper
Me
No more lies
or games
no shame taken
on

I am
what I am
and will
with no fibre of me
adjust
just to make you feel
better.
  Mar 2024 Lucy S Draper
Goddess Rue
Heaven rained on me,
I breathed in the petrichor,
Bathed in the downpour.
I have sinned,
So destroy me,
With your rain.
Lucy S Draper Sep 2023
all the problems seem so real
wish them all to disappear
another arise as soon as one dies
shapeshifting, reappearing

energy flows through all that is material
we weren’t meant to be shielded
from the ethereal
                                  realms
subconscious at the helms
wake up
to the tales that we make up
to save ourselves
from more heart break up

yet the heart breaks and recreates
what’s meant to stay does
just not at your will
not yet
not until you be still
change the energy you instill
it’s ok to let go
over flow
spill over
still return
to stillness and order
meditation hard but not really
just sit harder

my perception of reality is fiction
narratives told to rationalize all the friction  
patterns and thoughts like personality addiction
need a detox
engrained in reactions to past affliction
suffering in stories of my own limited depiction
until i see that stories can be
rewritten in my own rendition
defenses, distractions, unconscious reactions
shelter the heart
from the insufferable pain of the conscious condition
but somebody’s gotta do it  
                   haha
and get through it
and get through
to those who have not seen through
or want to
circumstance and condition
all microphones for our voice
nobody gonna force it
that’s your choice
to lift the veil and peer through
in the mirror
what looks back at you
do you see you right through
no? then step right through
into a living world that’s a reflection of you

it’s not all meant to make sense
not all at once
just lower your defenses
instead of pronouns change your tenses
to i am / here now

clinging to the past leaves you feeling like a clown
don’t get me wrong i’ve been down to clown
round town
had my highs and downs
but guilt and shame so binding
confining
me in moments and times of which i’m not proud
but for which i had to learn
to make forgiveness allowed

feeling may not be appealing
but it’s the only path to healing
just making the consequences of feeling appealing again
denver september
Lucy S Draper Aug 2023
if i did
what i did
to another person
they'd call it torture

but because its my self
they call it mental illness  
too bad my body can't tell the difference

nervous system confused
from being abused

just got caught off guard
making it this far
8.23.23 abq
Lucy S Draper Apr 2023
practice practice
til it's condition
an image of social rendition
that's harder to escape
than to enact
open your eyes a crack
cleanse the calcification
change the questions you ask
and it all starts to collapse
stop perceiving yourself
as a product of past
at peace in the present
choose to be at last
3.27.23
Lucy S Draper Apr 2023
where oh where
hath my poetry gone
like no entry
oh no
oh lol
that's kind of trash
your words are all jumbled up in a mash
rhythm and cadence decayed
wreathing to be expressed
where words and syllables thrash
praying to a higher power
smoking hash
rosin
tasteful
only tops in my head stash
choose not to stop
i'm stacking my cash
i made it once
and lost it
may have been
life demanded
different circumstances of me
now i must learn
it can be made again
if i can make it once i can make it twice
the universe never promised it'd be all nice
personality is black ice
i made it once
lost it twice
lost my mind
that was the real price
now i think twice
and feel thrice
elevate to the truest heights
of my human rights
Lucy S Draper Apr 2023
feel the body
say i'm sorry
say i'm sorry
and mean it
say i'm sorry
and feel it
feel both sides
feel the apology
and feel some remorse
for turning your bodying a corpse
or for wishing to be one
what are the feelings revealing
dredging up everything
i've ever been concealing
here and there
twenty three and four
i hit the ceiling
the limit of capacity for my nerves
seething

i'm not asking for your mind
just a little time- to open it
layers of energy
in your nerves confined
open your body
to feel the thoughts unwind
takes a little chaos
a little shake up
to realign
said i'm fine
i was not fine
limiting beliefs
hold my self back
from my true potential
view the path as linear
when it could be exponential
keep in mind
it's not all so easy to unwind
being alive is all experimental
when you return to the body
you're not just mental
when's the last time you asked your organs how they feelin
ask your kidneys how they be today
are they tired
stagnant, reminding your brain to feel afraid
how's your liver
furious
remember starting out just curious
before realizing the world around us all spurious
what a distant feeling
assuredness
now carry on
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