Everything around us is chaotic and painful,
So keep your arms tucked in and your seatbelt on,
Or it might hit you how **** everything is.

For a moment, I was sure you were going to die,
But I thought back on all I'd said to you.
All the things that mattered;
Your hands curling my arm in your sleep,
The sleepy kisses that followed.
You playing guitar and looking over at me in the moment I looked at you,
Your helpless face as you dream,
Splayed out and sighing.
And some moments that I shall never share.


I said I love you too many times today,
But in that moment
Where I thought you were going to die,
I was so glad for my tendency to repeat things.
*I love you.

**** this.

One day, you will get pushed to the edge;
The edge of your seat, or the edge of your mind.
And you will snap and burn and explode,
All the while getting smaller and smaller,  
Farther and farther away.
Away from me.

We haven't spoken in months
And I am sorry for it.
I needed to reassemble my mind
And I am sorry for it.
I was too affected by you
And I am sorry for it.

Out of the blue you've said "hi"
And I am glad for it.
We talk like we did before
And I am glad for it.
We are avoiding the problem
**And I am glad for it.

It's pulsing against the back of my throat,
The desire to scream the emotion away.
I cannot, I will not. This is my problem.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.

I try to shout,
But it's just a breathe.
Take another,
Then a other;
Easy right?
*calm.

What a lot of bother,
This love thing.

You're already loved,
I was just there.

The consuming crash
The eye of the storm
The splinter and smash
It is all the norm

For the world does burn
And dissolve to rubble
But it does this to turn
For life means trouble

I am sinking, under pressure normally,
But you touch my skin and everything,
Everything calms to the point that
I am either consumed by the thought
Of you or can think of nothing but sleep.

You are the sky I didn't know
I needed,
Raising and falling each day
And night.
With your nose in my hair
As you sigh in your sleep
And I am so **** lucky
You are mine to keep.

I feel like there's a coil of wire
Winding around my waist
Clenching, clenching, clawing
At the skin.

I don't know how much longer
I can take of this. I am so
Scared, I don't know
What to do.

I spread my wings towards the sky;
My arms lift as the wind rips through me.
I am too high up, I am not high enough.
A gasp of the pre-storm sky sends me spiralling upwards,
But the higher I get, the more the skin peels away
from my bones like paper.

To love unconditionally,
Without restraint or guilt,
Is all I want to do.

To be loved unconditionally,
Without fear or-

*oh who cares, it won't happen.

some days,
we wake up,
and we cannot
be brave.

You're stuck in the part where
You're having to live for other people,
But sooner rather than later,
You're going to start living for yourself
And the world looks so much better.

*the world becomes yours.

I am high of life.
I'm jumping up and down to a song
that I made up in my head
and life is ******* awesome.

Forgiveness, I've found
isn't a conscious effort.
Part of loving someone,
is that everything about them,
big or small, temporary or permanent,
is a part of them:
part of the person you love.
So there's little point apologising to me,
if I love you,
because I love you.

That's all there is to it.

Noose.**

It's almost like our friendship
Is hanging from a thread
And both of us have scissors
But instead of cutting the string,
We're slicing at our minds instead.