I know when you stare at me,
It's her eyes you see.
But I'm not her.
And I'm not what you're searching for.
I've fallen in too deep.
So deep that I'm willing to give up everything.
But I'm afraid.
Afraid of how easily you'd throw it all away for her.
To have her in your arms.
To feel again.
To love.
For her,
You'll give us up.

Your hair catches the clouds, floating shadows of youth
Skin drenched  with beauty, lullabies and raindrops
You're a night swimmer in the sea
A daughter of a poet, with a  morning tongue
As your ribs split into shreds,  shaping the rust along your chest
Your fingertips touch the stars, erasing the nightmares of your scars

It’s been a rough ride the last couple of days,
Including bumping into him this morning.

I wish…
I could run towards him and hugged him.
And if that weren’t enough,
I whispered into his ear,
“I missed you so much”.

It was an outcry for help,
An extended arm to be
Pulled out from a world of pain.

He said nothing.

Everything after that was just a blur,
And I don’t remember much.
Eventually we said “bye”
And we walked away from each other.
I never turned around.

Today still,
I have difficulties describing
What happened inside of me.
It was an emotional turmoil,
My stomach knotted.

*Somehow I got home and just fell into the bed.
Then something happened that pretty much saved me.

I have these ghosts haunting the corridors of my mind,
Leading the way through lingering thoughts of you,
I cannot seem to resent or spew hatred,
It's a battle creating a wider gap.