With the first breath that you draw
I'm there to take control;
Servant to a higher law
I'm dealt a daunting role

I am Life! My cosmic dust
Now courses through your veins;
**** and curse me,  if you must . . .
You're now bound by Earth's chains

I know of your strengths and flaws,
Your notions, good and vile;
For each tear I know the cause,
And all that makes you smile

I'm the one who tolls the bell,
Inviting you to prayer
When the pain you bravely quell
Is more than you can bear

When I give you cause to grieve,
What scorn you bring to me;
Yet, when I threaten to leave,
O, how you cling to me!

When love's absence dims your eyes
And causes tears to pour,
Please know that I empathize,
But I can do no more

I'm  bound to a charted course -
Not of my own design;
Someday you'll join that same Force,
But right now, you're all mine

Though my methods may be spurned
And known to trigger strife,
This is how lessons are learned
In classrooms taught by Life

I'll be told when to collect
The total debt you owe;
(There's a harvest to expect
From every seed you sow)

And when your account comes due
I'll siphon your last breath,
Then safely deliver you . . .
Into the arms of Death

How nice of you to come visit me,
I wondered who was at the door.
Rarely does anyone come to call,
So please, pardon the dreary decor

Of course, there are cherished memories
That answer to my beck and call;
Some make me smile, while others bring tears --
You may wonder why I keep them all

Well, memories reflect reality --
Long ago, Hope's idle dreams fled;
I haven't seen or heard from them since
(I'm beginning to think they're all dead)

But I'll not go searching for lost dreams,
Nor on their return will I dwell,
For dreams are precarious footpaths
That can lead us to heaven . . . or hell

Fate writes the script for Life's theater,
And assigns our last curtain call;
Foolishly, I thought I was in charge . . .
Now I laugh as I roam Memory's Hall

There are times I draw back the curtains
Just to see what goes on out there;
But your world is no better than mine,
With its endless turmoil and despair

I like to think I've found asylum
In a world so devious and cruel,
Then Fate laughs and scornfully taunts me . . .
It's true, there's no fool like an old fool

But solitude offers safe harbor--
Yes, my flag of surrender's unfurled!
Please, leave if I cause you discomfort ---
But if you stay . . . . .  welcome to my world

Each night while awaiting sleep's ******,
Thoughts emerge from their darkened lair
To walk the shores of eternal hope,
Only to sink in seas of despair

How often I've searched for Love's footprints --
An effort my heart must find droll;
Have winds of Time carelessly plundered
All memories of Love from Life's scroll?

To recall just one brief encounter
That somehow escaped memory
Would bring such joy to my dismal world --
To know someone once cared for me

A faint voice echoing  "I love you"
Would more than suffice to repair
These tattered wings that once ferried hope . . .
But alas! the heart's chamber is bare

And so I appeal to sleep's mercy
As I lie upon this lonely bed:
Carry me swiftly beneath thy wing
To a realm where heartaches dare not tread

Then all of my senses surrender
As I welcome night's peaceful repose,
And tear-moistened lips softly murmur:
Please, let this day come to a close!

Tonight I'll pour my favorite wine,  
Then set the hearth's kindling ablaze;
Countless hours will be spent pondering
The past's carefree and  blissful days

There I am!  a girl of just twenty,
With nimble step and flying hair;
Searching for love, I was confident --
As for suitors, I had my fair share

Flowers and flattery and romance
Would frequently call at my door;
Youthful days filled with Love's promise . . .
Even Heaven could offer no more!

The men were handsome, witty and fun,
Showing utmost propriety;
Strangely, I turned my back to them all --
Not one stirred Love's passion in me

But Time paid no heed to my folly,
And one by one my dreams went astray;
The shining rays of hope had grown dim --
Too often I'd turned Love away

Now each night my heart reprimands me,
Repeating "O, what have you done?"
Mistrust and indecision be ******!
I curse, and then cry for The One  

Now I watch the sun slowly descending
Deep into the Sea of Remorse;
Have I been condemned to this anguish,
Or might Fate kindly alter its course?

But the flames of hope turn to embers
As I sit alone sipping my wine,
I know somewhere there's a lonely man . . .
The One who should have been mine!

I provide calm after you rile the storm,
You stir the hornets, while I fight the swarm

You curse the darkness - I kindle the flame,
And should you stumble,  you say I'm to blame

A song sung by two must have harmony,                                                  
But you think my songs are always off-key;

Try as I may to meet your every need,
No feast I prepare can appease your greed

How can we survive rough seas and fierce gales
In a boat with split masts and tattered sails?

Well, change is coming, and I'll not pretend
That I'm sad to see this fiasco end

And I see glory in the coming days --
A new horizon is flaunting  its rays;

This game is over,  I'll not be the pawn.
You are insufferable  . . .  and I am gone!

Too long I've implored Love's ministry,
Too long grim silence has reigned;
If Love would only beckon to me
No bonds could keep me constrained

What foolishness might I contemplate,
Deeming it necessity?
Through weeds and thorns, barefoot I would run,
If Love should beckon to me

Ignoring the rules of Good Judgment,
And placing my trust in Chance,
I'd fly to Love, bounding all hurdles,
With nary a backward glance

So weary am I of solitude,
So bereft of joy and hope;
Time has carried all my dreams of Love
To realms far beyond my heart's scope

But I've heard that Love can resurrect
A dream lying cold in its grave;
And so I cling to that beacon of hope,
Despite all the tears that I gave

I want to feel the euphoria
Of falling under Love's spell;
(Pay no heed to the years that I wear --
Youth had its own tales to tell)

Yes, at times Love can seem indifferent --
Cruel and willfully cunning;
But I'll be neither judge nor jury . . .
Should Love beckon, I'll come running!

A sweet  smile greets all who meet her,
With no hint of the pain concealed;
But her poems paint a self-portrait,
Where the truth is boldly revealed

Each word that her pen releases
Is a fateful stroke of the brush:
Sunlit paths that led to dark places,
The brief joys that Fate chose to crush

Sad tales are etched with precision
Upon this warped canvas of Time,
Describing the heartaches that linger,
Urging her to cloak them in rhyme

Are lonely days not distressing
Enough  for this painter of verse?
And yet night deprives her of slumber,
As memories refuse to disperse

But pity offers no solace --  
Fate's cruelty has taken its toll,
Leaving her to walk this Earth alone
With weary heart and blighted soul

Playing Life's dubious Game of Love
She was nothing more than a pawn;
Well does she know her fate has been sealed . . .
Long ago her portrait was drawn