Hate yourself....
Pity yourself......
Hurt yourself....
But always remember that there are other people who will also get hurt seeing you breaking

i am the 1 am drunk text
i am the family pictures popping up on  your newsfeed
i am the polaroid at the bottom of your desk drawer
i am the modern baseball song that you can't seem to skip
i am the candy wrappers in your car door
i am the cd stuck in your car radio that is just me singing a song i never should have written for you
i am the way a dorm room bed is always just big enough
i am the draft of a poem that was never just right

and

you are the space between the lines of the poems that aren't fixing anything
you are the dried up corsage in the back of my closet
you are the third step on the stairs into the basement where i swear i can still see stains of mascara on the carpet from november 8, 2015
you are the post card i never sent
you are the post card i sent but never should have
you are the phone calls i can't make
you are the nightmares i have where we are both running from something not clear to us


now that i've set the scene are you sure you want to delete your audition tape?
are you sure that your first try was good enough?

There was a Bird
Flying high, free and alive
And there was the Hunter
Traps set, cage ready

With no fail the bird gets captured
Caged and brought home
Left unsure, scared not knowing what's to happen
The bird longs for the sky
The Hunter longs for the Bird
He feeds the Bird, takes care of the Bird
And yet the Bird still longs

Time passes, the Hunter lets free of the Bird
Knowing that the Bird will never be truly happy caged
The Bird happy and free, flies
Not caged anymore it flies
And yet it doesn't leave the Hunter
The Bird that long for freedom has been forever caged with the hunter
Always caring, always loving
Caged in the warmth of the Hunter

*Are you the Bird or the Hunter

The smiles the laughter it is all fake
Deep down I still feel awake
Awake from the reality that I am still longing
Of the day that an angel would stand right beside me

This harsh reality is where I currently stood
Gazing at the sky wishing as hard as I could
Of the dream that one day I will be able to see
A future with you as my half to be

But alas a dream is but a dream no more no less
It is an illusion of hoping for the best
If only I am not content with just living the dream
Then the laughs and the smiles will be real and not dim