I think it's time
For me to close my eyes
And slip into the sleep
That I've always desired.

I think it's time
To say goodbye
To everything I've grown to know
And everything I'll have to let go.

I think it's time
To find out
Once and for all
What dreams may come.

Falling in love
Feels quite literally
Like a fall.

Like you're stable
And balanced,
Then the ground
You're standing on
Is ripped right out
From under your feet.

Traveling at a terrifying speed
Directly to solid ground,
You begin to ask yourself
"Who will catch me?".

If you're lucky,
You'll land in someones arms
And walk with them
Knowing that if the ground disappears again,
Your fall will be broken
By their embrace.

And if you're not lucky,
Well I'm happy to report
That your fall doesn't end
With a splat
And a ****** mess,
Even though you may wish
It did.

No, for those of us
Who don't land in someone's arms....
Well, we don't land at all.
Gravity keeps pulling
But you never touch
The ground.
We keep falling,
Racing through space
To what should be,
What we hope will be
Our demise.

I keep falling,
Fully aware that the person
Who could break my fall
Is not waiting for me
To come plummeting into their arms.
Who knows where they are.

It may take you a while
But when you realize
That no one is going to catch you,
You might as well relax
And enjoy the eternal
Skydive.

I know I should be sorry
I know I should feel bad
Because here I am doing the thing
I said I'd never do again.

I said I wouldn't hurt myself
But that's been ******* all along.
The only thing that kept me clean
Was knowing that if I slipped
I'd be hurting more than just me.

But now I'm sitting here
Like I have so many times
Tearing at my skin
For a glimpse
Of sweet relief.

In the grand scheme of things
A few small scrapes
Doesn't make a difference.
It's nothing dangerous
And it's not hurting anyone
It's just a way for me to silence
The monsters in me.

I don't care anymore
About taking care of me
I'll do what I want
Even if it kills me.
I'll do what I want
Even if it means
ruining nine months
Of a fleeting fantasy

It's all much too
Loud.
The world going by me
Is much too
Noisy.

There's already a consistent scream
Inside of me.
The last thing I need
Is to be in this world
With too many
Sounds.

So I hide
In my room all day.
I hide myself away,
Because when I hear
Everything that's happening outside,
How everything moves just fine,
I begin to lose my mind.

Why can't I move the same?
Why can't I become
Part of this well oiled machine?
I'll never fit into
The motions they all execute,
So I sit on the edge
Of their common reality
And watch it all turn.

I watch it
But it gets too much
It grows too loud
And now I have to hide again.
Hide myself from all the sounds
That start fires in my head.

Run
Little freak.
Run
Black sheep.

My ears are too sensitive
To be in anything but
Silence.
To be in anything but
Quiet.

The vibrations of the outside
Go in my sensitive ears
And amplify whatever is already
Being screamed in my
Tortured
Tormented
Time bomb
Mind.

Then they go to my eyes,
Well right behind
And build pressure
And pain
Until I have no choice but to
Cry.
Cry.
Little baby
Little freak
Little black sheep

i've been so lost
since we agreed
to go our separate ways.

it's only been two weeks
but I've lost count
of the number of classes
I've missed.

I've lost count
of the hours
I've spent laying in bed
trying to think of anything
but you.

i tried to go out
and make new friends,
but i only ended up rambling
about how much
i missed you.

I've lost count
of the number of times
in a single day
that my heart has broken
over you.

you said i seemed happy,
but i don't even know
what "happy" is.

i thought "happy"
was what i had with you.
and that's so far
from what i feel now.

how can i be happy
when all I've felt
for the last two weeks is
lost.

im lost without you
and i wish it wasn't true.
because this lost feeling
is how i know
that i always did
and i always will
love you.

How is that possible?
To have a voice so sweet?
Just when you speak to me,
Without any special meaning,
You could sing me to sleep.

Every word has a chime
As it rolls off your tongue.
And when they fall together
As you read your poetry,
It becomes
Some of the most beautiful music
I've ever had the pleasure
Of hearing.

You must be an angel,
Because you have a voice
That could make any nonbeliever
Bow down and repent
If you read them aloud
A simple scripture.

That voice makes me blush
When you tell me sweet nothings.
I can't help but smile
And feel like a child
Who's heard the ocean
For the first time.

The waves crash
Just like your voice.
Beautiful creations
Crafted by nature,
That bring me ease
When I get the chance to listen.

I'm sorry I'm staring
But it's the best I can do,
When I'm this far away
And can't touch you
Or kiss you.

I'd believe anything
That came from your mouth,
That's why I blush when you tell me
That you think I'm pretty.
If you say it,
It must be true,
And I've never believed it
Until I heard it from you.

A voice so calming
Is a gift from heaven,
And God cannot create lies.
Now I have no choice
But to feel warm inside,
Because you spoke to me
With truths that I could never see
If it weren't from you.

All I want is to be loved
But I can never seem to get enough.

I lay here alone
Wondering still
Why I have this trench
That nothing can fill?

I search for what I want
And I think it is found
But when darkness falls
I can't hear a sound.

No "I love you" 's,
No reassuring words
No utterance of peace
And, my god, it hurts.

I just want to feel
Like everything's okay
Like I don't have to die
At the end of every day.

What am I missing?
What else do I need,
To finally silence
My endless plea?

I'm begging again
Just to know someone cares.
I need some security
Because I'm constantly scared.

No more sweet nothings,
No romancing kiss.
Where is the love
That I so dearly miss?

Can't you see me dying
For your cathartic embrace?
Can't you see the pain
Written on my face?

I'm a fragile soul,
And I hate that I'm this way
Because I need you always
I need you to stay.

I wish I didn't care
I wish my heart was dead
But after being beaten and broken
It searches for life instead.

I want to be happy
And I want to be free.
I don't want to drown
In this dark lonely sea.

But the waves are all around
And tide is pulling me under.
This storm is so strong
I am deafened by thunder.

I've been fighting it all
For what feels like a thousand years
But it's just my luck
That the sea grow deeper with my tears.

But I can't stop crying
I couldn't if I tried.
I couldn't if my stupid heart stopped
And I finally died.

I'll create oceans from my grave
And the earth will drown,
All because I lived my life
With an eternal frown.

The water will rise
And fill in slowly.
This is my revenge on earth
For leaving me lonely.

Even after the flood
My heart won't stop beating
And it won't forget the love
That it will not stop needing.

How sorry I will be
That I have killed you all.
I will be so sorry
That I will continue to bawl.

So someone please love me
Like I need to be loved
Before the earth is doomed
By my broken hearted gloom.