I'm grown, so very grown, way too grown, for all of this.
I'd love to believe I'm smart, maybe a bit too smart for my own good, how pathetic.

Why am I still burdening myself, why am I so stubborn. I wish I could send for a space ship and share my thoughts with aliens, because I get so tired of humans.

He said I'm too emotional, maybe way too emotional indeed, because right now I'm way too numb to feel. But here it comes again.

I don't know what am I. Born to let them fall in love and then shurgs... I chase them away.

I am so very tired, tired of the same old LIES, same old CRYS, same old ROUTINE, same old LOVE, same old BETRAYAL and the same old PAIN.

Nobody knows it but me and that's what scares me, I might die in my sleep tonight of anxiety or heart attack.
Alone with the mysteries of why and what went wrong.

...but if I should never wake up, it's ok. I wont have to worry about feeling again, crying again, hurting again...well, maybe. Maybe I'll be lurking in the shadows of you, sleeplessly with no peace.

When it's all said and done...I'm just too numb to feel

I can't wait for that day...that day when I look at you and feel absolutely nothing. I can't wait to show you hell, to make you feel the fire I felt. The long nights I yearned for you, your kiss from your warm tender lips.

I turned myself Inside out, breaking myself down to the core...strip myself down exposing my torn soul. It is, bruised, blister of scars that you left me with.

For the nights you left me cold, I've died a thousand times...waiting for you to come to me, to take me, make me, only for you to once more break me.

I just lie there, hopeless until you return. Every single time. My entire love story with you is Deja Vu, I just keep letting you in when I need to let you go...I've tried.

...Here I am again, Waiting, hoping that wherever you are, whoever your with...that you are safe and will be able to return in my arms. Ill be here...Until you return.

S.B

I watched you sleep, unsound but your presence screamed so loud. I watched you sleep, I hoped to god you were having the sweetest dreams of me.

Where is the love of your life?
Could she be awake, tormented and faded, crying her heart out?
I bet she misses you...I wonder if she too, watches you sleep.

As I watched you sleep, warm bodies collided in harmony, In peace. I wrapped my arms around you and wondered if she touched you like me.

I provided arms that refuses to let you go through the night...but I guess we will never see eye to eye, because this is more than me.

You made yourself so known, and I hope I will forever be a mystery lurking in the back of your mind...I wanted you to be mine.

...but that I know will never be, because you broke me down to almost nothing and this void will forever be in me.


S.B

He's the one, my heart told me.
Here I am, once broken..why? no one could ever tell me.
This being has entered my life I once thought was a living lie, but sweet possession he had shown me.

Am I fooling myself, I don't think I am...the way he kissed my lips, his warm touches against my skin.
Here I am, ready to become a slave for him, dazed as he clutches my hand.

You drifted in and out of dreams, the rush that took over me, the timing of his love could not of come a better time.

These are the things love can do?
Is this me being really happy?
...because I felt it, in his kisses...I have missed him so much.

This feeling is so seldom, and I am scared, not of love but how much I am able to give, yet for the first time it is shared equally.

He, in his own right, is a gem that will for ever dazzle in my eyes, the way he looks at me and tells me he loves me...how much I truly do. This is what love can do**

Shantel Broderick

Fogged windows blinded my sight from the world. Sitting in a bus, I was overflowed with thoughts that's been haunting me from my past.

A girl can only wonder limitless, intensely and quietly... I go crazy thinking nothing ever really last.

I asked myself everyday, WHEN will I be happy
WHEN will I be complete
WHEN will I find someone who will love me... for me

Why not start a family?
at least I could have some sort of reason. To look forward to sunshine even on a cloudy day, to set sails and freely float away.

But WHEN will I discover peace?
is it that I have everything I want and nothing that I really need?

A confusing puzzle I may never solve. Maybe I should be alone, maybe I was brought here to be on my own.

...I don't know WHEN all the pain and disappointment will end, they say I'm too pretty to feel this sad, too intelligent and I should appreciate what I have, that one day everything will fall into place... Yet I have to pretend
They say just wait, day after day. Everything that is for you, will come to you
.... But WHEN?


S.B

Before she knew you, she was afraid to love you...so she told you.
Before she kissed you...she was afraid of making love to you.

Hesitant with your approach because she forgets nothing, a woman who feels deeply, loves deeply and fragile emotionally...so you chose your words carefully.

She was dying without you knowing, guilt eating you out from the inside. A fighter she was until there were no more fights, because they were dying...bathing in ashes.

Before she touched you, she felt you...knowing that you too were fragile.
:Before she yell, she would hold you closely...illuminating your mind.

Years passed and she stood by you, cared for you and loved you...selflessly, unselfishly, endlessly. She was on a limb...but you never knew, she never told you.

That woman who did it all is only human, she aches, she cries, she smiles...even when she is broken inside.

Looking on her wrinkled, faded skin, fingers that could not deny her age...seemed unnatural but she had walked the roads with you, fight the fights with you, children that bloomed with the images of two.

Before she died...she cried, held you everso tight, hoping to make it through the night.
:Before she died...she was afraid to close her eyes, but you were there by her side. She looked at you with compassion in her eyes, nothing else she could do.

Before she died...she reminded you of her words... I LOVE YOU*

S.B

You said...You and I have a connection, is it a special kind of connection?
...Because You and I could conquer this world, would you take my hand.

I want to be so engulf in you...but now I just feel like I was in the line of your selection
...My heart yearned for you so badly, especially in a time of cold but your always away and I just couldn't understand.

This is you and I...and our hearts at war. You set your trap and I take for the fall, didn't we get entangled...after all?
Look at me falling down, in a circle...round and round.

I could lie on your chest for eternity just to hear your heart beat...your soul is within me and now I can't leave.
I could stay away with you forever...but I know that even forever, isn't forever.

But you and I ...as far as I can see, could spend the day but again I'd watch you slipped out of my arms as the sun fades, because you and I are a set of destruction as you released in me chemicals that reveals the only person I wish not to be.

So in the sake of you and I ... It's time for us to set ourselves free.


S.B