Another day gone
Another life beginning
While I simply wait

I imagine you sitting in an expensive café,
Tapping away at your phone.
When love goes by with an 'Enchanté'.
And you remain alone.

I have read the same issue of seventeen twice
Waiting; wasting time.
A clock above the door innocently ticks away the time I've spent
Sitting; staring.
My thoughts like raindrops coalesce on the back of my eyelids
Flowing; fading.
And the nurses that weave in and out of the swinging door
Smiling; sighing.
I imagine your bare feet on the freezing grey linoleum
Shivering; dying.

My brain speaks in a whisper:
"You should be angry;
He should be afraid."

My lips speak just loud enough to hear:
"I don't love him;
He never loved me."

My heart beats thunderously in my chest:
"He is the best thing that's ever happened to you;
How could you ever forget?"

"Till death do us part,"
Red lips behind a cereal spoon
Blue eyes and pupils like dimes
The moon is her spotlight
Glinting off of pale hair

"Till death do us part,"
Layers upon layers of clothing
You always felt too skinny
You painted a skeleton
And called it 'self portrait'

"Till death do us part,"
She was starved for sunlight on the hottest days
You let her stretch in the rays
As you wilted comfortably in the shade
And Frances skipped from dark to light, keeping the equilibrium that you couldn't give her

"Till death do us part,"
The greenhouse above the garage
Where you swallowed your final breaths
A lethal dose of ****** coursing through your veins
And a bullet in your skull
Did she laugh as you fell apart?

It's better to burn out
Than to fade away

The* day I decided I loved you
We basked in the sun's rays
Now you're gone
And your love has grown dim
So I wait, rain and shine
For the day that you speak to me.
The moon's cycle is anew,
And you are still gone
The sky is black with my heartache
I'd die for you
I won't lie
I loved you,
After I left him
And I knew you were perfect because
He was everything you are not
I chose you, but you didn't care,
I love you,
Please choose me *back

I'm not trying to hurt you.
What you said
And what you did
Are distant and unparalleled planes of reality

I'm not trying to hurt you.
As if my pain was not your goal
But ultimately a consequence of your arrogant carelessness.

I'm not trying to hurt you.
But you did
With impressive efficiency
And you shredded my concept of trust

I'm not trying to hurt you.
Maybe not,
But I've never been more hurt in my life

I'm not trying to hurt you.*
You took the confidence that filled my chest
And in return I got existential dread