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 1d star
Liana
Elders
 1d star
Liana
They say to respect our elders
But they don't respect the trees hundreds of years old
Tall in the sky
Watching all of us

They say to respect our elders
Yet
They don't respect our mother earth who
Aged rather beautifully
Billions of years more than them
 1d star
Liana
No one talks about how painful it is
To love someone who wants to die
About the anger that you aren't enough
That they're okay with leaving this world
Leaving you here

We don't talk about
The constant fear
That they might already be gone
That couldn't save them

The terror when they don't answer
Every time
I find myself unable to breathe
Thinking about the blood on the floor
Imagining the rope around their neck
Picturing the empty pill bottle next to their lifeless body
There is so much fear

Please call me
Please tell someone
You cannot be alone like that to end your world

Please call me if you're going to do it
But it will not be for goodbye's
I will not tell you it's alright
I will say that I will ever be able to forgive you
Because I won't
I will only forgive you if you started breathing again
But when you're dead
That's it
You're dead

Yes I would be devastated
Completely and utterly
But that's not all
I would be angry too

2am anxiety attack
3am writing them poems
They're not enough
The words aren't enough
I'm not ******* enough
No one talks about being up at 4am doing research
How to help
Words to give
Grasping thin air for something
Anything
To keep them there

Now it's 5 am
Making lists of ways to make things better
How to make the world more livable
Because they are not allowed to die
6 am still awake
It doesn't matter that I won't get any sleep
I don't care about myself anymore
I don't care about my life
They just need to stay in it
That's all that matters
 6d star
Liana
Then
 6d star
Liana
She said she felt bad for my father
Because I wasn't speaking to him anymore

Then she read my poems
People you gotta know what you're talking about before you say ****
 7d star
ash
bare, a beast of all sorts,
the kind, unknown, unnamed,
desire, perhaps, or even the want.

peeling back layers upon layers,
haunting like venom dressed in velvet,
freaky, misdirected, and led upon.

devotion and lust drink from the same glass,
the champagne poured in by the hands that sculpted brass
into silver,
now mistaken for diamond shine
razor sharp, pricking at the slightest touch,
reaching all the way behind to grasp
the thin fiber of reality that separates.

distance barely existing,
trembling hands trying to pull away the curtains
that hide behind the mesh covering the eyes—

like silk over barbed wire,
perfume resembling the stench of blood,
metallic, almost glittering upon a caress.

curling upon the sheets like smoke in a fire grate,
in spirit, in being, in a soul tie so strong,
the red string pulled taut—

circling the fingers, going all the way up the arm,
slithering and coiling like a snake around the neck,
possession lacking in need.

war report disguised as a love note,
signed in lip stain.

warmth where the danger lives,
close to the flames that can destroy whole,
turned into ash, not mere blackened soot—

violet seize amidst grey sample.

rotten, wholly spoilt,
always a dance,
circling around, close—oh so close,
yet so far.

the truth about forever,
which exists in eternity,
for the while the self survives—

cherry-soaked bodies
living below the ransacked lair.
unspoken, the eyes connect,
few faded visions filled with anomalies,

and a step further up ahead.

grip loose, just way too loose,
accept the chances at running,
escaping right after the wisp of contact—

entangled fingers slipping as the light dims,
furthermore, the radio in the very corner
plays the same track from the first ever night—

with or without you,
don’t touch—don’t glance, don’t do.

torn between staying to take away the soul
or leave behind a heart wrapped in a ribbon.

the blackening veins, cinematic mugshot,
before ties around the wrists and eyes up at the skies—

give up—give up—breathe in, let be.

+92, look at me—do you hear it too?
the sound of bells, calling upon all the wanderers,
the bare ones, yet to hold any other.

too generic, exceptionally quiet,
concentric circles of the eyes,
tired of novocaine—

about all that you don’t see,
put the **** away.

solely a white, white lie,
blazing remembral speaks in starlight.

numbing ache around where the fingerprints remain,
tunnel vision, staring right at you,
at the way you move.

the last ticket, the last trip—
no turning back.

dripping cocoa down, round from the ceiling,
the mirrors speaking monstrosity,
reflections sharing a breath—

en route, in the midst of almost,
leaving behind all casualties,

end this trip—
while going down and low,
and back into the graves where we slipped out from.
messy messy messy me
 7d star
Liana
Oh for ***** sake
I just want a hug
 7d star
mysterie
lillies.
they're pretty.

i see them
on my morning walks --
they adorn the footpath.

im about to buy some
in a boquet,
tied in with some tulips
and leaves as spacers.

they're for my new partner.

but whenever i see
these lillies,
i can only
think
of
you.

maybe because your essence
was just like the lily's --
you were elegant,
compassionate,
and you loved everyone
with the biggest
heart and smiles.

i know its wrong,
to still think of you.

but these lillies --
they're everywhere i go.
i wouldn't take it as a sign
but i know it means
something.

i shouldn't be buying these
for my new partner,
she isn't elegant
like you,
or have a big smile
like you did,
so why do i buy them?
or walk the same footpath
every morning
just
to
see
them?

i don't know.
date wrote: ???
 7d star
eliana
I will rise
After every fall.
I will rise
And stand tall.

I will rise
Over the wall.
I will rise
Above them all.

Like the sun,
Which never dies.
Though sets every night,
Every day it does rise.

Like the ocean
Whose tides
Many times they are down,
But invariably they rise.

Like the trees,
From seeds they arise,
And heights great
They rise and rise.

After falling once,
Twice and thrice,
Again and again
I will rise and rise.

I will rise
After every fall.
After every fall
I will rise.
 Jul 18 star
Liana
Sorry
 Jul 18 star
Liana
"I'm sorry"
"Why are you sorry"
"My peices are making a mess"
"I'm okay with mess"
I started crying for some reason. This is a conversation I had with someone wonderful today
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