Let’s run away together
Just you and me.
Leave everything behind
We’ll start something new.
Don’t be scared,
Just trust me
And I’ll show you the world.

I've never stop loving you
Every day that goes by
All I do is think about
Your imperfections
Because that’s the thing
I love most about you.

Take my hand
& Come with me and you’ll see
The change in you and me

Close your eyes and imagine
A place where you
Wish to be
And I’ll take you there
. . .
Let’s run away together
And travel the world
. .
Its okay to feel
Scared

&
Its okay if you say no
My feelings for you won’t
Change

So lets just take it slow

At the end
It’s all up to you

Weeks gone by                                          
And I still miss you                                  
Every day                                                  
           ­                                                       
I feel so empty
My heart aches
& the tears won't
Stop flowing down

You knew the little things about me            
& when we talked                                    
We always seem to                                  
Pick up where we left off                          

I don't know if I could ever
Close the book
& leave it on a shelve
As it ages

So much memories                  
& yet I can't no longer            
Write in it because                  
Things changed and                
Your day came quick

The page where we'd
Left off will
Forever be on hold
& the bookmark remains

The girl that loved  so hard,
She ended up to be  broken
Yet so loving still

The harder they try to silence me
The louder I become

Winnie Mandela

I sometimes wonder
If the person I love
Will leave without
Leaving a mark

That's when  the silence
Would ring in my ear the loudest,
Making my heart the heaviest
It could ever be

Having a lot of questions that only
He could answer
Having tears that run down your
Face while your in shock
That emptiness that fills your  heart
& mind
In such a way it makes you  weak
Weak  in a way that destroys
The person you was with
**Him

I  will dream with my eyes open when
N* ight comes
S eeing things I don't see when I do sleep
O ver analyzing the littlest things and
M aking up poems after poems
N ot mattering how late
I t is,
A nd I can't help but  *--write--

I played her some songs I like;
She asked "why I like sad songs?"
I told her "because I like the lyrics"
Then she asked me if I'm sad
And I said "yes a little bit".
She said "why"
And that question made me
Even feel sadder.
I just told her "I don't know"
But in my head I knew
I just didn't want to tell her
I felt she was too young to know
Too young to know that
I got my heart broken
Into Pieces by this
Guy I thought really loved me
I still feel sad because
It hurts me a lot
And I live in this state where
He didn't do any of it.

That it's all a dream
And soon I'll wake up
And realize it isn't real
And in another world
I still feel that were together

I'm still stuck on Him
And I don't know what to do
I want to cry but no matter
How hard I try
Tears won't come out.
As if I ran out of tears
Or as if there's a wall holding it
All back.
I'm scarred

If I listen to happy songs will I be happy?
If, so please let my ears listen and
Fill my heart with happiness and good
With positive thoughts
And hoping to live another day without
Thinking about my broken heart
My thoughts scream and shout
Inside of my head
And I'm walking around
With a broken heart.
I was shocked
Yes. Because it hit me
With Irony
So I laughed a little bit
And cried some

I always had my doubts
I was just too ****
Stupid not to put it all together
Soon enough.
I seen and heard things
That made me think
Negative.
I assumed he was seeing or doing something else
With another girl
My gut was right
Something I Ignored
And I went along with my life
I should have trusted my gut
It was right all that time

He showed me all the right signs
And I was blinded
Because I wanted to be wrong
October 9 of this year
I wrote my true feeling down
I wrote how I really felt
And I couldn't tell him about it
Because I told him I'll never bring it
Up ever again

So I kept my word.
It was bottled up inside of me
I couldn't tell anyone
I didn't want them to judge me
I didn't want to hear negative
Things towards my feelings
I thought no one would ever understand me
I felt alone
I would cry and carry on
And cry some more
Until I just
Read it in his presence
And afterwards I
Spilled out everything.
All the things I had bottled up inside
Of me.
I spoke my mind that day.
And I felt closure.
Then Again I don't
Think closure is the right word

I was hurt
And tears were rolling down
My face and my tears
Were blinding me
And I took a napkin
And wiped them away

He never knew how I truly felt
Most of the time
But my words that day
I spilled out everything
That I had in my mind
He felt the same as I did
And
When I would cry in secret sometimes
I didn't want anyone else
To know I'm crying
Because I had so much bottled up
My heart would cry with me
When I'm sad.
And all those times I felt sad
He finally felt what I've felt

I just want to scream.
Let it all out. . .
Out what, you'll ask
& I'll say
This pain I carry on me
This burden
This thing I feel that lives
Inside of me.
It’s attacking me from the inside
Wanting to get out
Wanting to be free into
The Atmosphere
Where it would be free
Nothing less and nothing more
Just free

I felt times where I wanted to be free
From this sadness
Called depression
That he brought upon me

And now

I close my eyes, thinking
To myself
This is real and I have to except it
But I don't want to
And this is when I want to scream
Because I don't want to except it

I just don't
It's just so hard for me
I never thought this would happen to me
My heartaches. . .

So. . . . .

Play me some songs of happiness
Because I want to be happy.

Make m e  beli ev e
I'm b e a u t i f u l beca use I b elie ve I' m n o t
Regretting you g et in side my h e a d wit h eve rythi ng you e v er sa id
Regretting the th ings I di d to cha nge m yself
Ove rt hin kin g; A nd
Reme m ber ing eve ryt hing I we nt th rou gh

Every  Canvas  has a bit of  You
-Always-
My brush is always ready
To  glide
With such  Vivid Details
**You would almost believe its real

I look at the  Sky
I look at the  Moon
I look at the  Stars
And all I do is think about You
When your not with me
Wishing to kiss You
Under the Moon,
Look into your eyes
Until You look back into mine,
And wishing I could spend more time
With You
In the cold freezing night
Watching airplanes fly above
**Us

there would be more to her name
meaning of bliss
that the days to come meant more days to feel more alive with the sunsets and excitement through process of learning
that each principle is taught only to help her grow as a person within herself. Within others.
that she will grow to love herself as her own being
love her skin and everything she came with

J.oy

Acts of kindness come in disguise
They're surprises unexpected
That create smiles within yourself
The silence of words
That the measures are with gestures

Humans are very  unpredictable
So can you really say you know someone

**?

The love stained every piece of me
It was Silent and chaotic simultaneously
The love that I imagined was a
Sense of euphoria through out my entire self
Seeking every book every anything
So it can fill every part that hasn't been touch or seen
I began to write, paint
Soon afterwards I turned to drugs
Is when I've finally
Felt the change within my poetry 
Within my painting
You gave it color, you brought it to life
You are my Medicine

not opposites but halves

let me remind you
I love you for you
I love the way you are when your with me
building a safe home
for us both 
that one day we can 
see the world
that one day we can
make love
that with every full moon
that passes
I miss you more 
that when I see you it feels like I was waiting for the moon again
that within each day I dont see you
you are missed dearly
and I want you to know that
were each others halves instead of opposites
because you help me grow
within myself and with you
as the skies start to create wonders my mind expands filling it with more stars
and clouds and airplanes
with new destinations to help us grow within ourselfs within each other as well
each cracked smile whenever I think of you 
is great, elation just fills my whole canvas including my brain that above all your my King, you make me happy even when your not with me
that the misses are compared to the next full moon 
no matter if its just 48 hours
I never want you to forget my love, our love 
I have for you and we have for each other
within the eyes
the canvas is painted in the most beautiful way
that every brush and mark
came with patience and love

And so with every wave is made of the wind

For all the times we looked up
We ended up making our own Picture
And it ended up to be
The most beautiful canvas ever made
                                   
Its amazing how our minds can create
Something so small or big
And have a deep connection to someone
You never met
*!

I'm scared that if he
Knows I cry
Most of the nights
He won't love me the same

He would look at me different

He'll think
I'm  too  weak
I'm  too broken
I'm  too sensitive
I'm  too depressed
I'm  too destructive

He'll think
I'm not the person he thought I was
That I'm everything but happy

& truly
I am
(Broken, Sensitive, & Depressed)
I just need time to heal
I need time to learn how to love myself
Step by Step

& just the thought that he might leave hurts
*& that scares me

I see diffeRent
I no longer sEe
myselF,
Lost
within Every
inCh looking up at
The mirror and
wantIng
tO scream until the pieces fell
uNto the floor, as I try to find myself

The way he talks reminds me
Of the Ocean
Because its so in
*Depth

Remembering
Every time I wish the mirror would just
Fall into pieces and shatter, I
Lost myself,
Every inch, wanting to
Cry because
The pain
I** felt within was so excruciating it
Opened my heart & pierced through,
Never had I screamed so hard

How come that
When your living life
You miss all the things
That are right in front
Of you?

You are blinded by it
So blinded that no matter
How hard you try
The blinds won't come off
And you start living your life
Built off with lies

& as time goes by
You start to see it
& the blind starts
To fade
& wondered how
Come you didn't
See it earlier

My heart continues to beat for the  seconds,
With all the  scars  it has
It continues to  love  
Because that's all it knows


                      ♥

I ask her to describe her mood
By color
& she said*  *"blue"
& I asked her why she's sad
She responded

*"I'm not,
I just love the way the ocean makes me feel
I love the water
So therefore I'm blue"

The things that
She asked for
She never got

But the things that
God gave her
Was all she ever needed

Makes me
Die inside
Knowing we
Were something
Before

I don't know what's eating me alive
More

Maybe its because I can't let go
Maybe its because I think TOO much
Maybe its because I don't like the way things are
Maybe its because I'm tired of waiting
Maybe its because I wish I had told you the words I had left to say
Maybe its because I wish I wasn't so shy
Maybe its because I don't love myself the way I wish I did

I don't know what's eating me alive
More

Every second that goes by thinking about you
Wanting to forget you

Or

**Regretting things I once felt was
Amazing

She'll have heartaches
Because of  you
*& he'll never know

I asked her to describe her mood by color
& she said "blue"
Then I asked her why she's sad
Responding
I'm not
I just love the way the ocean makes me feel
I love the water
So therefore "am blue"

Crashing waves
Washing away every color except for the mood I feel
As the sky,
Different hues of the waters
The sound is everything but still
Burning sun laying on my skin
Like the warmth of a hug,
So much elation I feel within
Stains a smile on my face,

From a far the waters aligns itself
And when
Closing my eyes
Visualizing what I seen
Sun beaming on me still
Hearing the waters going different directions
Hidden clouds up above
Moving from the wind

It's beyond what you see
Its also how it makes you feel
So therefore I love the hues
So therefore "am blue"

C** an you see, take a
L ook
O pen your eyes, look
U p & realize I'm
D epressed

The tears that run down my face are salty.
Barely could see.
My eyes get full of tears so fast.
& my teardrops get heavier by the second.
My heart feels tight,
& I hardly can breathe.
I feel the need to scream until I could be heard.
I feel the need to go…
*ELSEWHERE!

She avoids mirrors
Because it
Brings nothing but
Bad memories

She wasn't a cutter
Nor she burned herself
She was abused

My thoughts are  LOUD
And silence, --exists still--

Silence kills
It leaves open wounds
That stings as of strong alcohol
Sipped or chugged down

Leaving me to want to sink in
Wanting not to be saved
Wanting to escape this pain
I no longer want to feel

Wanting to break the silence
Every part killing me inside and out
But too depressed to even care
For the hurt that I feel within

The silence screams in the lonely heart.
Terrorizing fears fill the void vessel.
A loyal code with the sly predator.

No one comprehends, no one befriends.
Until the silence speaks with lethal force, no one can prepare.

The wind whispered words powered by popularity.
"If they don't converse with you, they'll converse about you."
The helpless soul flew, yes without wings.
From the concrete jungle, the industrial swing.
In one breath, the silence ended everything.

**Now the next day, they all knew the silent killer.

S* ome of
T he reasons
A re not enough for
Y ou  but I want them to be,    *DON'T GO !

S** ay something, put
I t in the most simplest words
L et me understand
E very reason, because I
N ever
C ried so hard,
E ver !

I miss you Texas
I miss you last year
Look how everything changed
****
Yet your feelings didn’t
Texas hot summer
Became Alaska Freeze
Took my heart, it froze and broke
How do you fix that
If you know, inform me
I thought it was suppose to feel warm
Laid back
Mind left
Not thinking of you
Wanted to make something
You wanted nothing
Heart done froze
Yet its warm now
And I’m gone now
No feelings left
Yet I’m kinda stuck now
Gotta go can’t stay stagnant now
You first right
I’m choosing me always
Me first always
I love me many firsts before this cold world
I’m not part of
I’d deserve real love
I’d deserve the world and some if you ask me
Thought you would have known
I was strongly mistaken
Its easy to switch water with *****
And maybe I was too depressed to smell
But **** I was damaged
Sheit slipped like time
I tired to go back
Right where I had none left
So I started walking forward now
Went back trying to find time
And you could never get that sheit back
Sheit got real
My feeling dried out
A hot girls summer
She works hard for hers
She loves herself the most
When no one else would
Started living Zen
Thank God everyday for him he’s a wise man
**** money
Where your mind at
***** funds
Where your mind at
Focusing on  all the wrong things
Baby girl trying to build and
You focused on yourself
You don’t really love her
You just want the Kat
Confront yourself *****
Thats where your minds at
**** Money
**** Drugs
Where your mind at
Shorty was really digging you
Somewhere deep is where her mind at
Clouded mind Clouded mind
Oh she loves hates her mind
Trying to get right
When everything else went left
I never heard or seen em
Left so quiet
Abandonment situation left cold
Abandonment situation
Wherever no matter where she go
Where your mind at
Where your mind at
Starting living Zen
Only time and time again
Living the luxury
You don’t know anything about
Where your mind at
Where your mind at

My mouth is a cell
When it comes to you
Because the words
Are wanting to be free
But the metal bars
Won't let them out

The wind would scream
The trees would dance
The silence would roar

Autumn
The trees are coated
With colorful leaves
And when they fall
It gives the cement color
The cold air making me shiver
Making every hair on my arm stand up
Through my jacket
The hot chocolate, warming up my hands
As I drink from my favorite mug
And the silence is still

Winter
Boots, scarfs, hats, and gloves are needed
Because the season is almost over
The trees are beginning to be nothing but naked
The wind would sing carols
Near Christmas Eve, People are happy
Families & friends are traveling
To unite with each others

Spring
The beauty of the flowers
Are ready to bloom
The wind blowing some umbrellas
On those rainy days
The trees losing some of its leaves
And falling unto the wet cement
And the silence is still

Summer
The beauty of the flowers were
Still Blooming
The days were longer
Ice cream trucks are up and down the streets
The trees are aging as it dances
The wind will forever scream on its own
And the silence continues to be, still

Throughout the year
The  Silence roared  the loudest in Me
You wouldn't have known
If I didn't tell you

&&
Autumn is near once again
And Silence is still
As everyone sees it

*Because behind closed doors it’s nothing
But a storm
And I start to lose myself
Little by little
Trying to hold myself together

As  broken  and hurt as I might feel
I'm holding myself together
No matter how hard it may seem
-holding back my every tear that wants to slither
learning to be strong, knowing this will pass-  and
Sometimes I end up with more pieces
Than my own
Realizing I'm carrying yours as well
Helping you feel whole again
As I hold myself too
*Simultaneously

She  loved  flowers so much
She  planted  *her own garden

I love the stories of successful powerful entrepreneurs that made it through everything without ever stopping to becoming where they are now and still getting where they want to be

Once you've made it to that point you wanted to be, you expand and grow and somewhere else becomes your new destination. It never stops because you begin learning new things and you come up with new ideas, new goals, etc.

Once you came from a destination to another one
You can accomplish anything, you did it once you can do it over again.
You will get a lot of NO'S before you start hearing YES'S
Failure doesn't have to be something negative
Every failure is a stepping stone to make you become a better You

There will be times where you want to QUIT
But that's when you have to fight the hardest and overcome that every moment and just keep fighting until you've made it to your destination
You have to push yourself even if no one else wants to work with you
Go to the places you said and thought
"I should talk to whoever is in charge"

This is easy, your not the only one
Remember your WHY and fight
Remember the reason why you choose to become an Entrepreneur

Work with your team or build your team and work together
Share ideas


Don't let fear stop you:
Make that phone call
Make that stop
Attend the meetings
Take notes
Follow up with people -always-
Write down everything
Wake up early
Get on the calls
Invite people over, present the business opportunity

Never prejudge EVER

Either:
Business partner
or
Customer
If not neither ask for referrals

Motivate yourself,
Move
Work it as a full time
Define it as part time
Make it fun
Don't stress yourself

It's okay to:
Get mad
Get sad
Then move on and get on track again

Some people will never get it
Others, you will need to get back to them


Following up, is where your money is at

Stay focus
Be sharp
Be yourself

Don't make up EXUSES for yourself

Do it because it's easy,
Its simply don't complicate
Do it because you don't want to,
but do it anyways because you know its beneficial to you

It wasn't meant for everyone so don't get stuck on that one person
Move on to the NEXT'S

Duplicate
Duplication is key
So is Consistency
So is Patience
Make this your everyday
Treat it as your business
Its your
Create your OWN hours
Use all your tools

Don't make **** up
Be honest

Change your "I should have's" to "I'm going to"

Grow your business
Help people

Do something product today
Not tomorrow, not next month
But right now

Work your business as if. . . .
inserts worse life scenario

Create success
Put God first, --Always--




Hillary Mercedes
L800424

BUT THESE BUTTERFLIES CREATE FEELING
SUCH GREAT FEELING
YOUR PERSONA / AURA QUIET
BUT I BET YOUR MIND LOUD

AND
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE NOBODY'S REACHING
JUST KNOW YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
ALWAYS
I'LL COME RUNNING
I KNOW PAIN
& IT'S NOTHING NICE
DIFFERENT STORIES
MAYBE
BUT ITS ALL PAIN
NO MATTER WHICH PIECES YOU HAVE
OR MAY HAVE LOST

I WANT TO GIVE YOU ALL OF ME BECAUSE
I CAN'T DO HALF *** FEELINGS
SOMETIMES I WANT TO EXPRESS MYSELF
OTHER DAYS I DON'T WANT TO SHOW ANY EMOTIONS
KISS MY MIND GENTLY
SLOWLY

I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANY
GOOD INTENTIONS FOR MY LIFE
NO PLACE HERE FOR ANYTHING
DRAINING, STAGNANT, OR MISLEADING 
I WANT TO BE LOVED ENTIRELY
KNOWING MY FLAWS
WANTING TO BECOME A
BETTER VERSION FOR MYSELF
UNTIL I CAN'T ANY LONGER


SO MUCH TIME WASTED
ON
PEOPLE NOT REALLY KNOWING THEMSELVES
NOT KNOWING ANYTHING BUT EVERYTHING
OR FOR THAT MATTER OF SECOND GUESSING EVERYTHING
THAT FEELS RIGHT
BECAUSE IN A COLD WORLD
THAT FEELING RIGHT JUST DOESN'T SIT RIGHT WITH THEM ANY LONGER
BECAUSE WITH EVERYTHING THAT FELT RIGHT
SHIFTED LEFT

CONGRATULATIONS YOU DONE PLAYED YOURSELF


SIMULTANEOUSLY FEELING EVERYTHING
ALL AT ONCE
FROM NOT WANTING TO FEEL ANYTHING

MOST DAYS
CAN BECOME DARK FAST
NOT WANTING TO FEEL ANYTHING
JUST SO THERE'S LESS PIECES OF ME SCATTERED
A PIECE OF ME WILL FOREVER REIGN 
& I'LL FOREVER NOT EVER BE THE SAME
I ACCEPTED THAT
FEEL LIKE I WANT TO DROWN WHEN I TAKE A SHOWER
AND OTHER DAYS FEELING UNSTOPPABLE
ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE I FEEL PIECES
WITHIN PIECES THAT HELD A PIECE OF ME
TRAILS & TRIBULATIONS MADE 
FOR LESSONS LEARNED
AND SO MUCH MORE TO GAIN

you looked at me 
(I look away)
I looked at you
(You look away)
and in between there was
A smile that stained my face
for the longest time
leaving me to melt

Yesterdays rain
Yesterday's kisses
The hold
The caress
The touch
The every feel of being with you
Elates me

I seen **** in the negative
Told me to loosen up and write all my positives

When I was done
It was gone

You were the world
You were my heart

Build a spaceship together
. . . Takeoff

Who knew time
Would come quick

Take you
****** you

Seems unreal still
My mind everything but still  

You seen potential
I seen more in you

Doubted myself
But never doubted you

A masterpiece
A beautiful piece
Exquisite piece

I need Peace
My wild thoughts
are silent

Silence played its part
In the empty rooms you no longer hold a part of

You told me you had me
Told me not to think so much
You left me to think sooo (****) much
****

I had you
Felt like you never had me
The way you should have had me

I knew mine:
Diamond piece
Beautiful piece
Wild
Exquisite Piece

That it is easily missed until there ain’t no one to treat you
(The way I did)
Its like a song on replay
But I let you listen to my unreleased

Yet you released
As if you didn’t know
The gem I held

II
The gem slipped through the folds
the tab began

Atmosphere held:

Good vibration
Raw Energy

Whereas
Vibes are temporary
While Energy is an everlasting Spark

Never dulls
But sharpens
Darkens
Ignites

Let it burn

Who ever knew that the ⚡️ Spark
Lost all its electricity current

Tell yourself lies to help you survive
Assume let it take over your mind

You build a suit so did I
Landed on the same planet
Different Levels
You can only imagine

Through all this I hope you didn’t forget about
The Spaceship
It became unfunctional
(Throughout time)

Find me intertwined with my favorite tunes and you adding a piece that I never knew existed until now

Let it:

Flow
Break down
Excite you whole
Take over your mind
Get lost in the depths of loving yourself

The beauty in all things
For the reason it goes
Drives me
Experience discomfort
Let it bring out everything from the chaotic
Let the reflection of self remind you that you are Rare
That you can go to the unexpected anywheres
Escape from it and come with: fresh and new
That you may add to your growth that within yourself
You love every given piece seen and unseen
that you learn to rest your mind and seek what's on hold

Why do you feel so weak
asking you that question I know ruptures something inside of you mentally
Control the sound
Mute everything, anything negative that distorts
You in ways you feel bothered
That every second that goes by your heart races the same melody of it all

Let it be exposed
Let the light shine in the darkest places
Let it grow on its own
Let it be natural
Let it be beautiful
Let it hold value
Let it not steal your mind nor time--
Nakedness is everything it's pure and true
I love the essence
I love what makes you wild when it comes from your heart
I love when it's alive and free
I love it when you begin to flow
In ways it has to be said because
The firsts of everything in anything that you do make me love you more
I feel the rush excitement that you get
I feel the volume of your joy elevate 
It's the most high
It's You

Uncomfortable
causing or feeling slight pain or physical discomfort.

Comfort sometimes isn’t healthy or safe

I made myself
Erase any trace
That lead back
To the pieces  that was suppose to piece itself
Without me

In order to find Peace with my mind
So my wild thoughts can become silent
And so my unreleased is released to you

Understand this wasn’t easy
I had to for My sake

So this is my closure

This is 2014 “I want to be Happy“ part II
And Now I’m seeking everlasting joy
That energy not vibe

I want genuine
I want that Gold
I want everything
That I deserve but never got

Give me Loyalty not Love

(For I am)
A masterpiece
Beautiful piece
Diamond Piece
Wild
Exquisite Piece

As I stare at the paper
My mind is  loud
My pen is  still
And seconds later
It bleeds,
Leaving permanent marks,
Hurting & trying to hide my feelings

Eventually I ran out of words,
Missiles began to hit
The words began to drag