I’m in love with the 12th of May
A love I cannot completely convey
I wish that I could always say
The sun is shining as it shines that day
The birds and the flowers both betray
The warmth of an unseasonal ray
If only poetry could portray
The brilliance seen at the break of day
I count the seconds til underway
And I hope and I pray
To live forever like it's the 12th of May

From the sun's descent to its rising,  
everything inside me begins devising.  
All my soul within me surmising,  
any doubt I am now disguising.  
And with every passing instant i'm,  
seeking the sanctity found in rhyme.  
Hardhearted like in my approach,  
I may look weary but I never lost hope.  
It’s only that time has turned me cold,  
all these tribulations, you'd think i was old.  
With every breath I seek experience,  
steadfast like, honor gains with perseverance.  
Clear as day, I intend to listen to the words,
loud like the hills beckoning for shepherds.
I hope to grasp the heart of each line,  
and to learn form truths left to the whims of time.

With every passing instant i'm,
seeking the sanctity found in rhyme.
Hardhearted like in my approach,
I may look weary but i've never lost hope.
It’s only cause time has turned me cold,
so many tribulations, you'd think i was old.
So with every breath, I seek experience,
steadfast like, honor gains with perseverance.
From the sun's descent to its rising,
everything inside me begins devising.
All the life within me is surmising,
any doubt I am now disguising.
I hope to hear all of the words,
as loud as the hills beckon for shepherds.
And I hope to grasp the heart of each line,
and define, the knowledge left to the whims of time.

The train comes by every morning bout 5
I wish that train would find a cliff and collide
It’s driven by a demon on a joy ride
Always, arriving with some poison to unpack
Where ever it came from, i wish it’d go back.  
Whoever blows the whistle is most vile of all
He probably blew whistles at the plant in Bhopal
Uselessly sounding off while thousands died
Now they bring me their killer pesticides
To store deep in these hills, in the chemical valley
Here it continues adding death to the tally
If it leaks, everyone I know will suffer a similar fate
Carbide thinks life is worth less than methyl isocyanate

I hope to see him again someday
Like I saw him times before
Resting under a red sun's rays
When Michael knew nothing of war
I pray I will always remember
The love I lost too soon
Forever, as if he never left
And still basked in the glow of the moon
So before this season has faded
Before dark waters reach the shore
I'll search for the rays and beams
As brilliant as the ones he wore
And i'll rest in the sunset like we used to
But Michael won't be there anymore

Born and raised under smoke towers
I grew up on soil that wealth powers
Greed sours - round here are found no flowers
If it rains, I advise you to avoid the showers
And actually - just don’t use the water at all
It seems one of the plants has had a close call
A strange kind of leak through their impervious wall
Select folks knew weeks ago but couldn’t forestall
After all, toxins in the river shouldn’t have anyone concerned
This water has been poison since the century turned
In a place of industry – poor men should have learned
Slaving along the Kanawha doesn’t entitle you what’s earned
When you take a deep breath, don’t savor it slow
On the job breathing easy is all about what you know
Which mountain you reside atop and your complete bio
Cause here nobody knows nothing unless they're some CEO

It's always been a lie
I was naive to even try
To all along comply
I heard the hue and cry
But continued to deny
Your fingers were in each pie
You can eat up while you lie
On the bed you've made whereby
I hope that you die

How can she be gone when I still feel her embrace
The warmth of her touch, I see the looks on her face
These comforts time will soon take
And leave the thoughts that keep me awake
Cause I can never forget how I failed so completely
And the ways she suffered so deeply
I could have gone to see her but I missed my last chance
I should have been there, I knew well in advance
She was there for me, anytime i needed her
She was delighted even when I barely greeted her
I feel a strange sadness tearing apart my core
These feelings i've never know before
Something inside me has yet to ensue
I feel like I can still call her and get thru
Like she'll be there waiting on my cue
But I can't, she won't be there for me whenever
Grandma's gone forever

In the depths of my wake
I find it hard to fake
So I don't even bother
The outcome will never foster
My well being or happiness
I used to try hard for this
Those days are finished
The grandeur now diminished
Cause I know honor doesn't exists
A hunter may conquers his quarry
But there's no greatness in the midst
There is no such thing as glory
Everything dies and turns to soil
It matters not how hard you fight, how long you toil
The bounds of humanity will be bared down on
By the vastness of eternity and glimpses of dawn

lonely doesn't express this hollow feeling  
lonely can't define why death is appealing  
lost my bearing, now i'm stuck again  
I've been lost since i don't know when  
seems that I took the wrong path  
but everyone knows you can't change the past  
thought I followed the right directions
but this road is long with no intersections
so now i'm trying to find my way  
probably be wonderin til judgement day

The train comes by every morning bout 5
I wish that train could find a cliff and collide
Before the demons with it arrive
Always, some poison they unpack
Wherever it came from, I wish it’d go back
That whistle blower must be the most vile of all
He probably blew whistles during the disaster in Bhopal
Sounding off as thousands of people died
Now I hear melodies of their killer pesticides
Echoing deep thru the hills, into the chemical valley
Here it continues adding death to it's tally
So rich men can be richer, they threaten a poor mans fate
Acting like life is worth less than methyl isocyanate

I didn't know a moment so calm could become this chaotic.
I never thought our downfall would be narcotics.
How can I be surprised, after so many years?
My hero has long disappeared.
Why does my mom need that pill?
We all suffer the pain she's trying to ****.
We are all tainted, our anger too easily riled.
She got what she wanted, I never even got be a child.
Any identifiable traits of humanity are gone.
To pain pills I am now a pawn.

Michael I need you now
I need someone to talk to
and there's nobody else but you
who else could possibly know what to say
why did you have to die that day
cause I can never not love you
you're what I imagine a man should be
something like a soulmate to me
God why, we were so young
I can't believe these words on my tongue
this lack of control is a nightmare I cannot accept
**** having to have the inalienable regrets
why can't we go back to january
don't know how itll happen but you have to be there with me

I wonder what i'll have learned
by the time I meet my death..
Will every second have counted,
or only the last breath?
Money is nothing to the departed.
And when the day is done and gone,
nobody finishes like they started.
What can I take if i can't carry it physically.
And where do I go when i am dead?
Out of all the lessons i've learned
can I remember any without a head?
Am I nothing or everything,
as I walk on earth in the flesh?
I am living everyday wondering,
if i'm just elements among the rest.
Tho I believe in heart-something like soul,
and against this there is no contest.
The wealthy don't have diamonds and gold,
but in wisdom they are blessed.
So I take pride in what I know,
and explore with the curiosity of a child.
I'm trying to ****** the days,
and overcome the wiles.
There must be more to discover,
cause how will the stars continue to shine?
After the morning I don't wake to another,
will I see a divine sun rise in the other side?
The end might be years away,
but it's always lurking near by.
It might even happen today,
or right now, or within the hour.
I don't know and I don't want to,
Some answers are as the thorns of a flower,
some knowledge must be felt or experienced.
There must be some greater objective.
With all I sought I found what best did,
put what's important into perspective.
Things that can never fall apart,
and that i will no longer let be neglected.
Cause i've found the truth in my heart,
I am a soul being perfected.

I hope to see him again some day
Like I saw him in times before
Resting under vivid sunsets
When Michael knew nothing of war
I pray I will always remember
The love I lost too soon
Forever, as if he never left
And still basked in the glow of the moon
So before this season has faded
Before dark waters reach the shore
I hope to rest under the red sun's rays
Like Michael will rest no more

This lesson learned the hard way is daunting
I live my life solitary lonely and wanting
But this is what happens for trying to trap a star
Let down - their light radiates endlessly far
The balance of things would be too upset
And the other stargazers aren’t going to forget
The pressure would quickly become unstable
It’s like searching for the truth in a fable
You may think you know who a person is
But blinding is the star that you burden like this
It’s bound to become an illusion of what you wish it could be
Hopes deceive - do good and throw it in the sea
Do not drink poison to quench a thirst
In lessons the sad man must become well versed

i dont remember the day i began despising my existence  
i do know i showed little resistance  
bidding adieu to the remnants of my innocence  
knowing my farewell wasn't a coincidence  
  
cause i want to feel a bullet make its way to my brain  
i want my limbs to blacken, lying broken, in freezing snowy-rain  
i just want the pleasure of peace after pain  
i need no funeral or name  
  
let my weary body rot it the spot it was lain  
cause all in all, it's all the same  
people may drown or burst into flames  
yet everyone leaves just like they came  
  
when my head hangs high up some sweetgum tree  
and my body dangles lifelessly-then ill be free  
so please let be whatever's left of me  
as my blood will water the sweetgum seeds

I wonder what all i'll have learned
by the time I meet my death..
Does every second count,
or only the last breath?
Money matters not to the departed.
When the day is done and gone,
I won't finish like I started.
What can I take with me that I cannot carry?
Where do I go-where are the dead?
Out of everything I learned,
what will I know without my head?
Am I nothing or everything,
as I walk on earth in the flesh?
I live and I wonder,
am I just elements among the rest?
But I believe in heart-something like soul,
and against this there is no contest.
The wealthy don't have diamonds and gold,
but in wisdom are blessed.
So I take pride in education,
with the enthusiasm of a child.
Curiously trying to ****** the days,
and overcome the wiles.
There must be more to discover,
how will the stars continue to shine?
The morning I don't wake to see another,
will a divine sun rise?
The end could be years away,
but always lurking near by.
It might even happen today,
right now or in an hour.
I don't know and I don't want to,
Some answers are as thorns on a flower,
some knowledge must be felt and experienced.
Does this plot must have a greater objective?
Through all I sought-I found what best did,
put the important things into perspective.
Things that will never fall apart,
that i will no longer let be neglected.
I found truth in my heart,
a soul perfected.

A drought rules with free reign    
Even over the most fertile plain  
All is sacrificed to the terrain  
Any clarity you cannot obtain  
Resources you cannot sustain  
The desert wont be influenced to change  
Your yearning will be shared with your pain  
Days take from you what little remains  
Each grain of sand needs the sky to rain  
If it doesnt the Earth will not refrain  
From saturating herself with the blood in your veins

I underestimated the search  
and came out a fool  
I looked for answers everywhere  
and everywhere found ghouls  
I journeyed through the lowest valleys  
and with shadows as my fuel  
I searched for this thing you call love  
and the love I found was cruel
I went to Mecca but I’m no pilgrim
I will always be a mule

I hear lies in the words you say    
Your mouth molds truth like clay    
I feel distance in the love you display    
You must have slept with Emily today    
    
You took it further than I thought you could    
And then lied, like I knew you would    
Don't try to act like I misunderstood
You cut thru me like an axe thru wood  
    
Now I know the truth and must relay  
My hatred I cannot convey    
Your deceit will come back to you one day  
I hope on your soul it does weigh

Days left unlived
Truths left unspoken
Pain like this
Leaves a person broken
Hopelessly hopin
For a thing that will never be
But the gods are just jokin
At the expense of me

time usually heals faster than this
I must be stuck in some sort of time lapse
in an alternate dimension like abyss
my realitys been about to collapse
but none of it feels real to me
cause where can I go if I can't go back
and all i know is an illusion, a dream,
a black sky-what I discouragingly lack
is myself and all its esteem
my having fell victim to a strange hijack  
I go through the motions like a machine  
you see me functioning but im under attack
I need some fuel, some gasoline
or whatever will help me stay on track
cause I can only get so far on moon beams
and I care about progress, not you, not syntax
just the nightmares and the screams
that continue to haunt and entrap
my existence with their extremes
I need to hurry before I end up a maniac
tho I am kinda programmed for this routine
if someone would just get a ***** a map
i'd be gone and life less obscene
instead i get variations of prozac
with my misfortune..but i’ve seen
glimpses of my destiny and now I know that
the pulse of my heart, of my bloodstream
will guide me to the end of my suffering

I met a man one cold winter day
Who spoke to me in an unfamiliar way
He was so humble that I grew hopeful
I was just waiting on this man to make it vocal
But when he did, what I heard didn't convey
Any similarity to what I thought he would say
And I kept hoping and my hopes began to weigh
As reality soon then on my dreams would prey
Leaving me nightmares known as the dawning day
When everything in me needed him to stay
When I longed and yearned for us
Our love was only ever able to portray
A life lesson that was learned for us
About the depths and the many shades of gray
About perspective and about trust
Teachings of a hell we're destined to pay
And of a pain I cannot physically convey
Words, symbols, they leave undefined
The reasons why I can't get this man off my mind
Why i’m anxious and worried all of the time
My nightmares and reality are now intertwined
Yet i'd give any and everything to hit us with a restart
Even tho he played me as if playing a game of darts
I'll paint a bullseye on my chest for aim, for game, and art
I'd rather feel his grip piercing my heart
Then let what little remains left to fall apart

Confusion festers deep in my brain
In this drought I’m the last drop of rain
Never to be the same, I am lost
Wondering through this bleak terrain
Soon to be denatured by a single parched grain