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the black rose Feb 2019
& in the same breath you saved me & destroyed me..
the black rose Feb 2019
~
i would be lying if i said  i have clear sighting of what’s to come next..
im walking blindly.
without a care.
without fear.
without needing anyone to be here.
if it destroys me then ill die knowing that i stood firm,
by myself.
for myself.
without your help.
you won’t bring me to my knees.
you’re what i want
not what i need.
random
the black rose Feb 2019
not psychic but i predict your selfish movements.
the way you fumble in & out with ill intent.
you must be bored with them.
you know? the ones that bring comfort
that only ever last a moment.
then the coldness, it catches up.
like a game of tag...
you’re it!
the black rose Feb 2019
it’s like my feelings are a game
& my heart is the main entrance to the place where you go to get your rocks off.
then leave when you become bored.
we won’t see you for several days or even several months
until one day you come strolling in with your perfect essence & words of affection.
carelessly flinging around emotions and seeking amusement through my misery.
you’re no different.
you’re no different..
the black rose Feb 2019
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i can put it on my life
and everything i love.
i gave you all i had
but my all wasn’t enough.
never crossed no lines,
never did you no wrong.
tried to wait for the right moment,
guess i waited too long.
my love had no pride
i loved with no lies,
& i loved you when i didn’t even know why.
wasted time,
love got away from us.
waste of time
cause we ran away from love.
ain’t even been a week,
im not weak
but i can’t even sleep.
it’s you im needing
& you won’t even speak..
how did love get away from us?
-
guess it’s not my time,
maybe i should wait for love.
-
inspired by: wasted love x jhene aiko ❤️
the black rose Feb 2019
& i don’t know how much weight visions hold on your scale of zero to relevant,
but i know that mine are not to be threaded upon lightly.
i don’t dream much,
but like the first time i missed it,
twice in specific
you were the target of submission.
feelings and spaces so vivid
but so much still left unclear.
& i could feel you so direct
like you were standing right there....
the black rose Feb 2019
update

been falling asleep to the sounds of you,
mocking me.
& every time you say you’re gone,
i hope for good.
from September of 17
to new beginnings in 19;
from raging enemies,
to dreams of all that could.
-
like all of our personalities had split personalities,
inconsistency played big reality.
& im always crushed when you leave.
the first few days are a breeze
then all my old wounds start to bleed.
i can’t control my breathing,
i am never at ease with you
and yet i always want to see you through.
and yet ill always wish the best for you.
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