I think I loved you most the winter your heating was broken
And we’d stay inside all morning
Pretending to complain that we couldn’t get out of bed
Our clothes becoming little islands on the floor,
Ones that we could not quite find the courage to visit

Your hand stayed glued to my hip,
Your breath warming my shoulder
Like a long drag of whiskey
That kind that had a home so far away,
In a glass bottle on top of your refrigerator.
The one that would not be opened
Until that fateful day in February,
When everything went wrong

And on that unbearable night
When you joked that you’d freeze to death if I left you
There was a long silence
Like it might be true.

Now it’s warm enough
That I show too much skin when sitting in bars
And you avoid me like the plague,
Whispering in any girl’s ear that’s near to you
Every time you see me watching out of the corner of your eye

We should have stayed inside when the ice began to melt
Because I think
When those doors opened and we finally ventured outside
The world had changed,
And so had you and I.

I need to stop thinking about the boy who only craves someone's touches
Stop caring about the girls he flirts with and how he sent the same message to not just me
The fact that my parents fall apart doesn't give me an excuse to act like it's okay to not be ambitious
Please just stop pretending you're worthless
You're everything you will ever have in the world don't forget
The only one that remembers the time you made your first friend or made mama angry when you were 9 will always be only you
Stop acting like you won't be anything because if you keep it up it'll come true
Atleast Dorothy had a goal of wanting to come home
But here you are clicking your heels together in empty hallways wishing to go somewhere new
Be happy, be young, be bold,
Be without regret
It's okay to be sad
Sadness was your biggest best friend
But that doesn't mean happiness doesn't exist
It's what made you come into this world, be appreciative
Go to sleep, study well in school
Just stop being the same old self conscious girl
Who can never make the first move