I need you to love me when I feel I can't be loved

it's a feeling I have but seldom from you

it's a comfort I want from you

I can usually deal with your absence
save for a few holes in the calendar where I can feel nothing except your absence

like today

Today you'd be 53

tell me what I need to hear

I'm smart enough to hear the distinct absence of sincerity except for that moment that you're surprised you're saying it yourself.

Don't call it pity, it's an understanding of a fundamental need.

I'm no longer blind to innate feelings.

Yet still, you can hear my songbird warble from behind the bell jar.

why does the caged canary sing? it's safer inside.

it has been so long since everything I've thought in my head I decided to act upon

those daydreams clouding at the math I'm supposed to be focusing on

cliche is as cliche does

all I wanted was a you plus a me, you being the variable and I'm sitting as a lonely one and after the equal sign there would be light and there would be love

yet why,

                  am I sitting here

                                      with the things I've wanted to hear laid before me

                        with no spark

             and no passion

                                       and all the power in the world.

maybe this is what I've wanted. It's foreign being this cruel with so little kindness. I need you to need me to the point that I no longer need you. But with you being the generator of the safety I suppose I need you still.  As long as you are concerned, and I couldn't be bothered I'll be happy.

This is not love, this is attention. A distinct difference I am aware of.

The issue is I don't care.

It's cruel, but baby so is this world. Let me live.

In a world where authenticity is strange, the revered are simply in tune with their individuality and the rest follow.