It’s okay to not be perfect
I hear it almost daily
It’s okay to breath
But I carry this anxiety around with me
Like a backpack
It’s stuck to me it’s become a comfort
Like a friend I can always relay on to be there
And because of that
somehow it’s grown comforting
Because I can always count on my anxiety
To be there for me

I won’t say I hate you
Because no matter how much
I wish I never met you i don’t
But your love didn’t grow flowers
It built coffins
And I know it’s wrong of me
But I don’t forgive you
I can’t just forget how you
Burnt the house you called a home
to the ground
Was that just to excuse
all the pain you went through
I remember when you would start fights
Just to have the control to put tears in our eyes
Now there soaking through the floorboards
And I could always tell
When the liquor was to strong
I could see it in your eyes
I don’t think I can ever understand
what you did to me
Are you better now that I’m gone

When people are in love
It’s said there falling
Like maybe they tripped
On the uneven sidewalk
Face forward
And Into the arms of the one they love

I did more
then simply fall on the ground for you

You at least for me
Where like diving into and ocean
Headfirst
Jumping
Crashing
Almost painfully
Into the depths of you

I knew how to swim
At least I thought I did
But I am drowning
Entangled in you
And I am surrounded by you
And I love the feeling of you engulfing me

And I love the feeling of you
Flowing against my whole being
And I have never tried to reach land
And I never will
For if I where ever to find land
It would mean leaving you

And after submerging into the depths
The love
The passion
The happiness of you
How could I ever leave?

What doesn’t **** you makes you stronger
I’ve heard that said far to many times
But growing up in a house on fire
That doesn’t make you stronger
That leaves you with
third degree emotional burns
That manifest into unbridled chaos
I mean I can’t even light the stove top
I mean I can’t even taste cheep beer
Or smell cheep wine
Without the feeling of your fist
Colliding with my cheek bone
Without the feeling of purple bruises
Burning across my cheeks
You where the reason the house was lit on fire
Don’t try to tell me I’m stronger

It is the most wonderful feeling
To have someone kiss your wounds
Nurture your scars
And look at you not like your a disaster
Not like your the sum
Of all your mistakes
Of all your pain
And to love you even in your darkness
It is an amazing feeling
To know that you have a healer

You are a hand grenade
In the shape of a boy
Your kindness like an explosion
Turning our love explosive
You came into my life like a burst of fresh air
And somehow you pulled me in
Even as I worried the flames would burn me
Except your flames aren’t painful
Your flames are the most loving thing
I’ve ever felt
And as they swallow me burning around me
I fell so hard that I could finally see
why I loved you so much
It was because you where a hand grenade
In the shape of a boy

before you no one was worth setteling down
in my soul however i always wanted
someone who could capture my heart
and you are quite captivating
somehow you have captivated me
you have stolen my heart
i am completely wrapped around your fingers
i love you
and your captivating voice
and your captivating smile
and your captivating words
and your captivating soul
and i think to myself
perhaps we've captivated eachother

you light me up
some may even say that your my sun
even when you feel burnt out you still shine
you always find a way to light up my life
and there's no one else
like you

you light me up
some may say your the lightning running across the sky
but i know you stay longer than a flash
i know you'll be here for me to split my clouds
but you linger longer than just a strike
you know when i need you
to hold me tight
and there's no one else
like you

every piece of me
is called to you
even when i try not to let it be
you over flow my senses
you fil my head
i wish i knew how to tell you
that your my entire world

you set the bar
into the sky
how could i ever leave you
i dont want to be 30 something
and still in my head
thinking about 18 something
in a hotel room bed
talking about forever
wrapped up in your arms
you are my everything

you set the bar
in the stars
how could i ever want to leave you
i would rather be 30 something
holding our kids
telling them about 18 something
the love story we wrote
reading them every word and chapter
you will always be my everything

dont you ever let your mistakes
make you feel you aren't worthy
of my love
you are more deserving of me
than i am of you
you are the only one i will ever want
you are more worthy of my love
than any other person could ever be

you kiss me in the dark
but i can feel your smile
even as the evening grips the sky
in a way only god could paint it
lavender clouds filling our skies
you kiss me in the light
but i still feel your passion
even as the morning paints the sky
in a way only god could paint it
with pink clouds filling the skies

our love is just friendship lit on fire
when i see you
i fulfill my every desire
you build me up before i fall apart
your the first person
I've not been afraid to give my heart
you deserve the love
that i give to you
even if you don't agree
i know i argue
that's just my nature
your my only love
and the only one i will ever want

i love you like waves love the sand
because loving you is so much like being a grain of sand
and getting pulled in by the waves
like how you
pull me close and
draw me in
with your many wonders
so undiscovered so new
each time i discover more
i fall even harder
deeper into your depths
like the darkest parts of the ocean
never finding the bottom
but always finding more beauteous wonders
from the way your able to light the darkest places
like the jellyfish that shine in the midnight
you have my heart now
like the ocean has each of its creature
i need you
like each creature needs the oceans protection
i give you my heart forevermore
because i am constantly drowning in your waters
a grain of sand floating in your vastness

you make me smile
even though my body is betraying me
with the sounds of screams that arent real
and pain that isn't there

you make me smile
even though my body is betraying me
with memory i wish i didn't have
and flashes of color that arent there

thank you for making me smile
even when the tears stream down my face
because without you
i would have no one to give my love to

i let you scream at me at me
because i know its not at me
no its at the stage
its at the lights
its at the speakers
i just happen to be at the receiving end

i let you scream at me
being careful not to tell you about my week
careful not to tell you how i swallowed my tears
careful not to let you see the panic attacks
but they hurt
but there there
even though i let you yell at me

i break the ice
so they dont see how i break inside
i have to be kind
or they'll make fun of my size
i get told I'm to loud
and i have to keep busy
I'm sorry if i don't respond please don't forget me

i let them keep me around
so there flaws just seem silly
i say I'm okay
or they wont listen to what i need to say
i get told I'm not pretty
and i refuse to be to proud
I'm sorry if i think i sing well when you cant

i love you
not for what you have
but for how you make me feel
your the stuck i my head
your face replaying in the forefront of my memory
your smile stuck in my head

i love you
not for what you have
but for the warmth you bring me
your every touch
lighting my entire body on fire
you love sticking to my bones

she is the moon shining bright
but she is only bright thanks to him
for he must first exist for her to truly shine
he is not the sun
no he's far from that
his job is far more important than simply burning for her
he does burn for her in a different sense
for he is the darkness that surrounds her
holding her
loving her
making sure shes all the brighter in his arms

when i first met you
the world had beat me so far down
i was all the way at the bottom
id given up on climbing back out
then you saw me and excepted everything
even my past
now everything's brighter
i thank you for that

you said i love
you, i was your only one
and so we kissed recklessly
lett     ing   the   rain  so  ak
o        u         r       c      l    o
        th
        s
       an
       d
        ou
        r
   lo     ve
    fill us

all i do is think about you
and every little thing i love
like the way your eyes crinkle when you smile
like the way you look at me when I'm being annoying
like the way u can play any instrument you pick up
like how you brighten every room you walk in
just to list a few
i don't know how I'm the only girl inside your head
but I'm never going to let you get me out of it

feels like its been a thousand years
when I'm with you i was away my fears
i wish i could say it out loud
but i cant tell you how close
we've gotten in these past two months
because words cant explain my love for you
no simile could compare the way i love you
no exaggeration expresses enough
i love you with every cell in my body
I'm so proud of all you do
all you've been through
I'm so lucky you want me

he loves me to pieces
he reminds me every single day
I'm far from perfect
i wont ever pretend i am
but when i put my heart unprotected into your hands
that's how i feel
like even though I had to give you myself in shards
you glued my pieces back together
in just the right way to make me
perfect

i cant sleep
not with you on my mind
not with you on my lips
not with with you in my heart
because all i want to do is be in your arms

im obsessed with the way your head is resting on my lap
the fact that you truly love the things i hate about myself
and no one sees my insecurity like you
but every single one you tell me isn't true

I'm obsessed with the way you stop me from over thinking all the little things
the fact that you don't think I'm worthless when I'm a wreck
and no one sees the way i over stress myself like you
but every little weight you take off my shoulders makes me feel over blessed

I'm obsessed with the way you understand me even when i don't know the right words to say
the fact that you cant sit still for even an hour makes my head spin
and no one keeps me on my toes the way you do
but every little glances is an electric shock of love like I'm a little kid again

I'm obsessed with the way you feel like home when I'm in your arms
the fact that you are so worth the wait of every single heartbreak
and no one sees the way your smile brings me up on my worst days
but every single one pulls me from the tears that sting my eyes

I'm obsessed with the way us is enough for the rest of my life
the fact that you know how comforting every little piece of you is
and no one sees the way i hold that ring when i need to stay strong
but every time i worry about you not wanting me to have some of your things you tell me its cute that I want you so close

i am broken
i am shattered into a thousand pieces
i am nothing but shards
and yet i lay every **** piece
down at your feet
they've always been yours
and they will always be
take the ones you want leave what you don't
rebuild me into what you need
and i will make you smile
every single day

i was waiting for the day you said you want me
because in my heart i felt a pull
one that I've never felt before
but watching you with others almost broke me down
i wasn't alone so i guess i understand
but now we throw our hearts into the flames
we love each other on days like these
if your wondering if i still love you
even when we are apart
here's what i would say
"i want you more and more each day
i love you in every way
i love this life we have
and i don't want to ever let you go"

you need not look to far
for if you have ever even the slightest question
you needn't wait for an answer
for all you shall ever need to do is
glance to the vastness of the sky
you need only glance the multitude of the stars
to know the infinite depths of our love

how does one ever recover from this?
i don't think i ever can
perhaps i don't want to
perhaps its easier not to
don't judge me though
we all carry our own baggage
some just carry it more inwardly

i had a dream
it was about you and me
it was about our future
about the places we are going
i always thought i would never find my one
but now that i have you
i promise i wont ever let you go

i love those days
when we cuddle for what seems like hours
when we pull each other close
i love those days
when we are comfortably silent
somehow the space between us never feels awkward
i love those moments
when you grab my hand holding it in yours
like you can sense the anxiety growing in my stomach
i love those moments
when you open up
i wish i could read your mind if only to help you

i wish i could erase myself from the narrative
wish i could let history wonder
how i reacted when everything i wished for fell apart
i wish i was stronger
i wish i was better
wish i knew who not to give my heart
i put myself out on a limb
when i was ready to give in
and i can still hear the devil whisper
"i know the best way to break your heart"
and i wish the lords voice was a little bit louder
because maybe then i wouldn't feel so torn apart
when you say good bye

i want to trust that we are okay
but then you cut them with your words
they are my parents
and yes i argue with them
and yes i cry over them
and yes they do alot i dont agree with
but no you cant cuss them out
no you cant threaten her
no you cant yell at him
and no you cant take your leader position into this relationship
if you want me we are equals
i hope you understand that
if not i worry we will be morning the loss of each other

double dutch.
double dutch
double dutch
life is like double dutch
we jump in and out of twisting ropes
pay attention.
pay attention
pay attention
you have to pay attention
because if you don't you might trip
don't fall.
don't fall
don't fall
don't you dare fall
because if you do we wont help you
jump the ropes.
jump the ropes
jump the ropes
jump in time with the ropes
because if you don't you will be left behind

i hate you so much
but i love you with all my heart
i never want to see you again
but i cant wait to this weekend
i don't want you near me
but i love when you pull me close
i keep my walls up high
but you walk right by them
i don't want to let you in
but i can't stand to let you go

I live behind a barbed-wire fence
I watch the world move around me
I watch the way everyone moves on
But I stay here in my barbed wire fence
Like the caged animal
Caught by my fear to move forward
Caught in my fear
The feeling I will never be enough
Keeping me its capture
Even as the years pass us

brown hair
brown eyes
feels like ive known you
my entire life
you make me feel alright

brown hair
brown eyes
fell in love over time
shared interests
like the love for music

brown hair
brown eyes
you keep perfect time
whether it be with me
or  with the music we play
making him so proud

he's a bullet that's about to fire
he's the steady that's been keeping me sain
because he sees beauty that I cant see
and he knows me even when I don't know myself
he sees me for me not who I pretend to be

he's the pines in autumn growing steady never falling
he has the drive to pull himself through fire
because he sees beauty in everything
and he knows what the people around him need even when they can't tell
he sees my smile even when I think he cant

when he's passionate it wrapped around my soul
he's the kind you never let go riding with him till heaven calls
because he sees beauty in all of me
and he knows what I need even when everything feels broken
he sees my tears and picks me up

I love you more
then the bad days ahead
I love you more
then the hardships to come
I love you more
than any year that will pass us by
I love you more
then any circumstance
I want to make sure your heart understands
because your heart means the world to me
if you ever doubt it just look in my eyes
because there you will see I love you more
I'm not saying its a competition
I just want you to know
I love you more

how do i explain it
my words fall flat
before they can even pass my lips
because how do you tell someone
you burn for them
without scaring them off
how do you explain the deepness
you've fallen for them
without losing them before it even started

i wish you where closer
especially when the nights are dark
when i cant drown out my own screams
when the smell of cigarette smoke choking me
i want to hold you
until i finally feel grounded
until i can smile once again faking happiness
till i can replace my mask
one everyone cant see-through except you
i want you to comfort me with your words
like i love you

im sorry i love you slowly sometimes
and others i jump in head first
i don't know what its like to love
without being in survival mode
but i want you to know that on the early march day
you where my reason to stay
and you still are even today

before i met you
they where just three empty words
that i overused never understanding the meaning
but now they feel met to you
i know see me overthinking
even the tiniest of moments
even though you tell me i don't ever have too
and i know that you will always answer my call
but i can never pick up the phone
and tell you the three words
that are so brimming when i see it to you

written in the stars
my name across there heart
forever in my mind
i want to keep them close
even when there far

we where brought together
not by luck
not without pain
not without brokenness
but by god
on our own roads to recovery
and in each other we find the answers
to the questions we began to drown in
and in those answers we found love

i saw you just last night
but it feels like i haven't my whole life
but i know its just in my head
i had been trying to hold onto love with people
who never thought of me as enough
but then i see the way you look at me
and you set the bar above the moon
so i don't want to be any older
and still in my bed thinking about those Sunday mornings
the way you listened to me
the church that felt like home for me
wondering what we could have been
i don't want these memories to be past tense
because your everything I've ever wanted

I want to kiss you
I want to feel the electricity between us
I want to light the flames in your heart
I want to burn the world with our passion
I want everyone to dream about us
I want our love to be the storybook children get to read
I want to be open
I want to be close
I want to float into the sky without worry
I want to kiss you
I hope you want that too

you are warm
not in heat
but in your presence
i feel the safety one can only feel
when they are curled up in a blanket
cuddled on a chair cushion
with a good book
and the words that pass your lips
dance on these pages
while a fire crackles in the distance
and i am cozzy in your warmth

love is like an epic poems
with stanzas that jump
with smiles and frowns
with never-ending lines
and ongoing stories
some will bring you to tears
but ours,
that will bring you to smile