it's past four am
and i bet you're sleeping
peacefully
in the next room
but everybody in here is snoring
if only i could hear you snoring
because i'm sure it will still be soothing
if it's coming from you.

but today
you touched my hand
and it was such a simple movement
but i couldn't breathe
but i couldn't focus
and i laughed when you laughed
because i wasn't listening
to the conversation
Just communicating with your hands

today
i could smell you
raw and pure
As you pressed my head
into your chest

and, oh lord, i swear i can smell him through these walls

(or maybe it's your smell clinging to my t-shirt liKe i'm clinging so desperately to the thought of you)

and i'm on this cold sofa
and your warm arms are so close
but not close Enough

and it's past four am
and i want you
so innocently
to just hold me
let me listen to your heartbeat
to steady mine

and it's past four am
and i still think you're beautiful
when you're tired
and your sleepy eyes are my favourite
in their darkened shade of blue

i woke up around four am
and looked instantly to where you were
before
and it's shock
because you're gone
because i couldn't watch you sleep
and you couldn't steady my thoughts with your very presence

and it's past four am
and i'd love you to walk back in here
and take me by the hand
and just hold me close to you
and let me sleep away the nightmares.

because i would treasure every **** second


it's five am
and i'm still awake
and you're still beautiful and
endlessly fascinating
(i'm begging for sleep so i can see you sooner)
and you're way out of my league
and it's all just pointless daydreams

but you touched my hand.

then why is that which is so blatant to thee
so inexplicably illogical to one's own eyes
for never before have eyes pondered to see
what had never been sought
what value, what worth
is placed upon a singular soul
out of such great breadth
that one's own may be deemed as
insignificant or
inexplicably illogical
to so many eyes
for never before have any eyes
had such a perspective
as to see
this soul
with any sense of hope
for hope is insignificant and
inexplicably illogical and
invisible
for what proof lay awakened as to substantiate such substantial existence
as to declare this soul
to have any worth, any value
if so unseen

i'm getting
the distinct impression
that
i should take my ball
and go home.

Look at the current state of affairs
and ask yourself this:

"Would it be at all outlandish
that they're creating enemies deliberately
in order to justify their existence?"

They ******* those they wrongfully oppress
until they can justify violent, martial law like suppression.

Either through the self-fulfilling prophecy of psychology
or through some projection or perhaps manifestation
it does seem that the New World Order thrives on demagoguery;
deliberate deception and misdirection of the masses
and then riding that artificial current
to their own sick, annihlistic ends.

If it is true and I am eventually kidnapped for this type of speech,
I won't back down for a second; I will defend my voice unto my very last word:
"All I've done is speak my mind, thank you for vindicating my words."