I want you to be my last words.
A quiet whisper in my mind--
or your name slipping from my lips
for the last time--
I wonder.
And I hope that I can pull it off,
that I could remember in a moment like that.
If you're around, I want to see you
and tell you I love you before I go
(I always say I love you before I go).
If you're not around, I'll just
whisper your name
to the air beneath my nose
one last time.
And if I can't speak,
I'll conjure up your essence
inside me.
My last words,
My eternity.



-LP

After a storm, you wish for calmness.
After any pain, you wish that it would fade.
After a gloomy moment, you wish for a better day.

And after you.
What else do I need?
When you're blessing me?

My prayers, was answered the day, I found you.
Then others say, after you found me.
They point to the smile shining better upon my face.
That your loving and understanding erased the hurt.

And they go on to say, after you.
I could never locate another better than you.

That after you.
I would be a fool to ever leave you.
Or have you depart from me.

You're a rare kind.
You're a rare beauty.
And it has nothing to do with the physical.
In various ways, I know I would be miserable.
Yes, after you.

I pass the places we were
one year ago today
not purposely,
it's just that my Gods seem
to have an ill sense of humor.

Walking slowly, numbly, dreamlessly around
a blinking city
that refuses to belong to me
ever again.

With every step kicking up clouds of dirt
in form of awkward memories
from not too long ago
that feel like a hazy far away dream.
it is easier to pretend they were merely that.
Reality is much harder to accept.

Bright Cakes with soft candle light
that graced your brow.
And I find myself hoping and wishing
I didn't know that you were doing so well,

if so...I'd be able to lie to myself
and imagine that you think of me
a little sometimes.

I hope you found what you wanted,
what you relentlessly worked so hard for.

Happy Birthday.

it's so funny how everyone loves girls
girls love girls
boys love girls
and sooner or later, there's gonna be no girls left
who love boys

That place, where we first met?
Meet me there.
Let experience those old feelings once again.

I remember the smile.
The one that beamed across the room my way.
I remember those bright shiny lovely eyes.
That had me hypnotized upon you.

Meet me there.
At that place, we came to know one another.
And slowly became lovers.

That day.
Write it down once more.
And you'll be forevermore appreciative of it.
As I am.

Some don't celebrate the meeting time.
They accept it, as a regular time.
But for us, least for me.
It's special to the end.

When the summer sun is blazing,
I pick daisy after daisy,
I toss them to my elephant
It makes him slightly crazy.

I gather chrysanthemums
When fall is in the air,
I toss them to my elephant
It makes him stand and stare.

I harvest bright poinsettias
In winter ,when it's chilly,
I toss them to the elephant
It makes him sort of silly.

I pluck bouquets of tulips
When they blossom in the spring,
I toss them to my elephant ...
It always makes him sing

He's got his taste now,
The storm is coming,
It's over now,
It's over,

I can see it now,
The storm is coming,
But I will run and run and run,
And you won't catch me,

I will run through the black,
I will run through the past,
And our present,
And my future,

I will not let this storm take me down again,
Run from the wind,
Untouchable,
Invincible,

And I will not let myself become cold again,
Run from the thunder,
Unstoppable,
Implacable,

He's got his taste now,
The storm is coming,
But I won't be caught,
I will not be caught by your storm.

what you need to understand about me is that i am nothing more than misplaced passion and a pair of blindly swinging fists that tremble with unrighteous anger. so allow me to apologize in advance for the fires my subconscious starts. i am a clumsy compilation of ill-suited lines that will never see life in your poetry. at least, not like they used to. you are a book filled with with pictures i never got to take, and every day i am forced to sit idly by while she starts a new roll of film. the missile crisis reincarnate is inside my chest, so forgive me for not being able to control when i shake. forgive me for fumbling with syntax so crassly. i know better than to spew hate and call it poetry. please understand that the endless series of sinking ships in my head makes it difficult to form coherent thought. my thoughts, will **** me, if your absence doesn't first. i think about your hands more than i am proud to admit, and when i picture them reaching for her i feel so sick. i'm sorry. i am so sorry that i haven't yet learned how to moderate the volcano in my throat. i'm so sorry for spitting fire with my eyes closed. forgive me for confusing anger with bravery and burning down too many houses to count. in my misguided thirst for blood i weaponized memories and threw them like daggers in every direction, but the only one being hit is me. i am so tired of bleeding, i am tired of this one-sided war, i am tired of being a war. i tried so hard to be catharsis personified but i have to face the reality that my arms would only hold you like a grave. i loved you like rainwater, and lost you like time. you were never mine. you were never mine. you were never mine. i have to say that to myself every day because it eases the pain of watching you belong to anyone else. but i can't ignore the surplus of "what if's" wreaking havoc in my consciousness. i think that's why i get so angry when i picture you laughing with her instead of me. i am blocking out the memory of the night you told me my laughter could cure your sadness. ******* it. i am trapped in a nightmare where the walls of the home we built are lined with photographs of her. this is why i can't breathe at the thought of her smiling when the flash goes off. they say that nothing good stays; i have never been good at leaving, so i guess that makes sense. you once referred to me as an anxious mess you would spend the rest of your life cleaning up, and i can't get that out of my head. i hope you know, that after everything, i would still sit and collect dust on a shelf in your house forever, if that's what you wanted me to do. but i know it's not, so i'll go back to apologizing. i'm sorry that my rage doesn't have an off switch. i'm sorry for being a literal spitfire. i'm sorry for being an earthquake under her glass slippers. i'm sorry that my mouth is a loaded gun and that i have ****** aim. i swear to god i'm trying not to shoot so often but this is one of the hardest things i have ever done. so until i learn control i will burn in silence with the safety on.  

- m.f.

A sigh of relief,
As I watch you walk through the door,
Knowing that the day will be great,
Me and you
You and me, us!

Friends walking side by side,
Laughing
Talking
Being us. Two friends just you and me.

A frienship strong,
You never fail to amaze me.
A frienship that will last so long,
Together we should be.

Is it really just a frienship,
I just wish it wasn't
Why can't we be more than this
Together, us, forever?!