Sad Girl, Write Till You Are Righted

Awake to an inbox not overflowing,
But drowned
In sadness.

Despair,
A close second.

Tho oft I rise to/o that awoken-swollen-emaciated river,
Somehow your ache, worse than mine.

I figured out why.

If we write of it,
It some degree lessened.
So when I gift you my words,
It gifts me easement some in return.

But reading thy cries, an exercise,
Teeth-gnashing frustration.
It brings no relief.

So sad girl,
Write till you are righted,
May be it will snow on July 4th,
And tho unnatural,
So is thy grief.

Nonetheless, write me write me all about it,
Right us,
For tho snow falls, its loveliness,
Makes the heart rise up in gladness!

Remember your last words to me?
I sure can't forget them.
You knew where to hit to make me hurt for real,
and you went for it.

I tried to keep my cool.
For every attack you sent my way,
I swallowed my pride, and took it like a man.
I played without defense or offense.
I could not win. I didn't want to.
I just wanted it to be over.

Eventually it was, but not before you delivered the final blow.
The "coup de grâce", as the french would say.
I was done. Finished. Hurt.

I don't blame you for what you did.
You played a hurtful game, and won.
I'm not the same person I was before that day.
I wish you no bad, but I wish you no good either.

Who can tell me
What it is I need to know

               *About the moment
               Between fast and slow

About that slight tick
Between on and off

               About the silence
               Between what's here and whats lost

Who can show me
What is good and bad

               The importance of
               The opposite of sad

What it is once
That we all had

               The knowledge of
               What we all now lack

Who can tell me
What is right and wrong

               The subtle heartbeat
               Between here and gone

The coming showdown
Between old and young

               The major let down
               Of what we thought and what we've done

Who can tell me
        Of these mysteries
                 Who can show me
                           *Because I'd love to see

Forget
Everything
And
Run.

Let fear take control of your emotions.

Forget
Everyone
And
Run.

Let fear make you blind to others.

Forever
Escape
A
Reality.

Let fear make you escape from Reality.

Forgive
Everything
And
Reach.

Forget fear, reach out for help.

Fly
Everywhere
And
Rise.

Fear can't control you, you can rise from it.

But yet,
you could still,
Forget
Everything
And
Run.

if i had a reason for every scar on my thigh
and ones that i could remember
i would write them all down
just to see
what hurt the most
what threw me over the edge
with no regrets
just to have a clear list
of what i can't handle
so i would maybe stop
creating the same problems
over
and
over
again
step one:
stop falling
in love

Little boys and little girls*
Playing in the sand
Taking life for all its worth
Without a care in hand
Enjoy it all little ones
While it is you can
Before this life grabs hold of you
And you begin to understand

Time you spend with mommy
Daily in the park
Good times for you to have
Till daylight kisses dark
If you're  within the sound of my voice
Take a moment where you are
Hug them tight your inner child
For all that they are worth

Childlike innocence always is
The first thing that we lose
Trying to get it back seems to be
The last thing that we choose
I'm sure we would try harder
If it is we only knew
How much losing it would change
Our very point of view

When we stop to view it all
Through wide open eyes
Hits us all so very hard
Should we be surprised
Happens to the best of us
And so goes our lives
I dream of the forgotten days
*Innocence of a child

Can you imagine my surprise
When I woke up with thunder thighs

I looked in my mirror and
It gave me back a knowing grin

Hard and heavy the diet days
And all of my sweet tooth chocolate craves

Knowing what's  in front of me
Makes this fat boy wanna scream

So I check out the internet
To find the perfect diet yet

        Lets see......

***** injections from a pregnant babe
That seems to be the latest craze

How about this bubble wrap
I just might be down with that

Who is there to really say
Which pill and how many I should take

One that sympathizes with the way I feel
While feeding me pint size starvation meals

Here's one guaranteed to clean my clock
While the next ten days I'm on the toilet docked

This is funny...try and eat more sensibly
That's like a foreign language to me

Get your daily exercise
Obviously written by some wise guy

Goes to prove just what I've heard
On the internet don't believe every word

How about the Himalayan soft cheese wrap
The secrets in the cheese to squeeze off the fat

Or I could go the Hollywood way
Have it ****** out and back to eating in one day

There are so many options here
It's hard to know which way to steer

As my options all expand
Think I'll just go buy elastic waist band pants

And learn to enjoy in my own eyes
The fact that I have thunder thighs

I've dated poets most of my life
So I could talk back and forth in rhyme

Sounds a bit  odd to some I know
But it helps with the conversations flow

That is where my mind is at
Poetry in every breath

Speak to me in hyperbole's
Sure fire way to get what you please

Sweet imagery entices me
Otherwise I may not have seen*

It helps to shine a different light
*When you date poets most of your life

Leaving the warmth of the womb
Bright light of the delivery room
Life forced on the young to soon
           *...i cried

The very first scrape of the knee
Wanting but not knowing the need
Youthful planting of seed
     ...i cried

Love found and love kissed goodbye
Emptiness that could fill up the sky
Times discarded by the wayside
                                ...i cried

Life that gets in the way
Never with the right words to say
Where happiness once ruled the day
   ...i cried

Through blurred vision it all fades to fast
What once was the future, now is the past
Fingers to nimble to grasp
                         ... i cried

What's left before is the grave
Friends to late to save
Tomorrow come what may
                                                           *...i cried

There's apathy
And sympathy
Sarcasm
And atrophy
A pair of jeans
Extremely torn
A set of eyes
Both cold and warm
I hug you when
I have to go
You hug me back
Please don't let go
I'm scared that you
Will dislike me
Please fall in love
*Fall in love with me