once upon a time

a princess stood on her balcony

overlooking the land she would one day

rule

a stray tear fell as she thought about

her father

and her animal sidekick attempted to

comfort her

Collaborate on a spotify playlist that will play on shuffle in my casket after I go.
I want you to add songs you want me to feel the radio signals of.
We know we feel music with a fifth sense,
A full body ASMR tingle
Whispers of russian woman fixing our robot parts.
Well I can't hear you, speak, move or eat
But bones vibrate to soundwaves just the same.
Give my casket the best **** bass you can find.
Bass that will wake the dead.
Rattle me like an instrument the way you plucked strigs while we were alive
You have control over what i hear after I go
So you may play me music beautiful as we played in the space between our fingertips

Play spotify in my casket
Only you and those i trust have access to adding songs.

But don't add garbage music.
Because I swear, I will haunt you.

mother nature spent years
just crafting your mind
she left such an imprint on you
you think of her
you care for her
in the way she cared for you
mother nature spent years
only creating your hands
your veins twine like her roots
your skin, like bark, withstanding the blows
mother nature spent years
simply designing your heart
she planted it, watered it,
and built a trellis of bone to support it
it blossomed
mother nature spent years
and she made your mind, your hands and your heart
now imagine how long
she spent on your soul

I miss you.
I should be missing him,
but my mind continues to drift to the fact that
I miss you.

I miss the way you would let me babble
I would talk endlessly about nothing
Ask questions that I'd answer myself.

I miss looking up at you,
Wanting you to make a move
The dog running rampage
While rain stuck to my eyelashes
In the streetlight lit tennis courts.

I miss you.
What you would say to me
The connection I immediately felt
With the words, you whispered
With the things, we went through.

I miss walking with you
The pull at the leash and your lanky legs
The flowers you'd put in my hair
Between my braids.

I miss our constant talking
Whether it be photos of our faces
Or conversation
your constant presence was a comfort
Because
He
Couldn't
Be.

I used to want to leave
My life
behind
So far behind
I never lived again.

But now I see.

What death does to me.

I never want to leave
My life
behind
Anywhere near behind
Never living again.

Because how could
this breaking family
undergo another crack
in the frame.

I am not alone.
I have people I can turn to,
If I need.

Won't you remind me?

It's nineteen days
since you last breathed
and eighteen days
since I was told
someone is here for me.

Suddenly I'm the girl with the
dead dad,
Suddenly I'm the girl with
the heartbroken mother
Suddenly I'm the girl
with the family
that's breaking apart

You've left such a scar

Suddenly all my future seems so foreign
Suddenly every birthday
and Christmas
and college
Seem so wrong without you.

It's all so wrong without you.

Sometimes I wish I'd tell them
What it's like to live without you by my side
But I don't want them to ever go through
What I have to go through,

They shouldn't understand.

I wish you could see this all again
Just to experience the sun and the sky
I wish you could've had your last days
Out on the mountains and in the grassy fields
I wish you could've seen
Just how much you meant to me

You had to have known.

I hope you know.