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Apr 2017 · 409
How wasted was time spend
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
Is anybody happier because you
passed his way?
Does anyone remember that you
spoke to him today?
The day is almost over, and its toiling
time is through;
Is there anyone to utter now a kindly
word to you?
Can you say tonight, in parting with
the day that's slipping fast,
That you helped a single brother of
the many that you passed?
Is a single heart rejoicing over what
you did or said?
Does the man who's hopes were
fading,
Now with the courage look ahead?
Did you waste the day or lose it?
Was it well, or sorely spent?
Did you leave a trail of kindness, or a
scar of discontent?
As you close your eyes in slumber, do
you think that God will say,
You have earned one more tomorrow,
by the work you did today?
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read

Beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree.

Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown,

For the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren't enough to ruin my day,

A young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play

He stood right before me with his head tilted down

And said with great excitement, "Look what I found!"

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight,

With its petals all worn - not enough rain, or too little light.

Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play,

I faked a small smile and then shifted away.

But instead of retreating he sat next to my side

And placed the flower to his nose

And declared with overacted surprise,

It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too.

That's why I picked it; here, it's for you."

The **** before me was dying or dead.

Not vibrant of colors: orange, yellow or red.

But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave.

So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need."

but instead of him placing the flower in my hand,

He held it mid-air without reason or plan.

It was then that I noticed for the very first time

That ****-toting boy could not see: he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver; tears shone in the sun

As I thanked him for picking the very best one.

You're welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play,

Unaware of the impact he'd had on my day.

I sat there and wondered how he managed to see

A self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree.

How did he know of my self-indulged plight?

Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight.

Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see

The problem was not with the world; the problem was me.

And for all of those times I myself had been blind,

I vowed to see the beauty in life, And appreciate every second that's mine.

And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose

And breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose

And smiled as I watched that young boy, Another **** in his hand,

About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.
Apr 2017 · 308
I am so sorry
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
How do I tell you I'm sorry -
With a gesture, a look, a touch?
How is it I never realized
I hurt you so very much?

I do not ask forgiveness,
A comfort I'll never deserve.
I merely want to let you know,
But I cannot find the nerve.

To finally confront you, face-to-face,
To look you in the eye,
To face your wrath, your apathy -
Too terrified to try.

You called me selfish, I turned away,
I festered and I fled;
Cutting and wounding and lashing out,
Just to see if you bled.

Betraying and deceiving you,
I surely had no right
To ****** away such a precious gem;
A dark thief in the night.

3 months and forever passed
To bring us to this day,
When I present these simple words
I never thought to say.

The time has come, it's long past due,
To put aside my fear;
Would this confession torture you,
Or have you longed to hear?

To hear those forbidden words,
To vanquish all the pain,
To understand my dearest wish:
To know you once again.

The months aged me remarkably,
Though they have not made me wise;
I do know I erred irrevocably -
For that I apologize.
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
Jenny was so happy about the house they had found. For once in her life 'twas on the right side of town. She unpacked her things with such great ease. As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze. How wonderful it was to have her own room. School would be starting; she'd have friends over soon. There'd be sleep-overs, and parties; she was so happy It's just the way she wanted her life to be. On the first day of school, everything went great. She made new friends and even got a date! She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be, Because I just got a date with the star of the team!" To be known in this school you had to have clout, And dating this guy would sure help her out. There was only one problem stopping her fate. Her parents had said she was too young to date. "Well I just won't tell them the entire truth. They won't know the difference; what's there to lose?" Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night. Her parents frowned but said, "All right." Excited, she got ready for the big event But as she rushed around like she had no sense, She began to feel guilty about all the lies, But what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride? Well the pizza was good, and the party was great, But the moonlight ride would have to wait. For Dan was half drunk by this time. But he kissed her and said that he was just fine. Then the room filled with smoked and Dan took a puff. Jenny couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff. Now Dan was ready to ride to the point But only after he'd smoked another joint. They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride, Not thinking that he was too drunk to drive. They finally made it to the point at last, And Dan started trying to make a pass. A pass is not what Jenny wanted at all (and by a pass, I don't mean playing football.) "Perhaps my parents were right....maybe I am too young. Boy, how could I ever, ever be so dumb." With all of her might, she pushed Dan away: "Please take me home, I don't want to stay." Dan cranked up the engine and floored the gas. In a matter of seconds they were going too fast. As Dan drove on in a fit of wild anger, Jenny knew that her life was in danger. She begged and pleaded for him to slow down, But he just got faster as they neared the town. "Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied. I really went out for a moonlight ride." Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash. "Oh God, Please help us! We're going to crash!" She doesn't remember the force of impact. Just that everything all of a sudden went black. She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble, And heard, "call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble! Voices she heard...a few words at best. But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck. Then wondered to herself if Dan was all right, And if the people in the other car was alive. She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad. "You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad." These voices echoed inside her head, As they gently told her that Dan was dead. They said "Jenny, we've done all we can do. But it looks as if we'll lose you too." "But the people in the other car!?" Jenny cried. "We're sorry, Jenny, they also died." Jenny prayed, "God, forgive me for what I've done I only wanted to have just one night of fun." "Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim, And wish I could return their families to them." "Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied, And that it's my fault so many have died. Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?" The nurse just stood there-she never agreed. But took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes. And a few moments later Jenny died. A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best To bid that girl her one last request?" She looked at the man with eyes so sad. "Because the people in the other car were her mom and dad." This story is sad and unpleasant but true, So young people take heed, it could have been you.
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
It makes me happy being by your side
All those feelings I just can not hide
You are the one who brightens my day
You make my path clearer in everyway

Nobody is as special as you are to me
I just hope that one day you will see
For I vow to give you all I have to give
Loving you for you as long as I live

I just can't describe how much I care
But when you need me, I will be there
To wipe your tears when you are sad
And make you happy when you are mad

Baby don't ever forget my love for you
For without you here I'd have no clue
There's no other place I'd want to be
Except holding your hand for eternity
Apr 2017 · 259
Masking the feels
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
My  world is falling, crumbling apart, life is meaningless & that's just the start
My hearts so sore, I can feel it breaking & I swear to god it leaves me shaking
Late at night till early in the morning, lying in bed eyes wide open. Didn't sleep last night, like all the others, instead I just lie crying in the covers
Quick, wipe away all the tears before they come near. must hide this depression & the feelings of fear
For all they know I'm happy & always smiling, but deep inside my soul is dying
I can feel it rotting, it wants to scream, but I won't let it... not for the time being
I can never tell them how I feel cause the happiness I wear to them is real
For them to hear that I wish I was dead... it would **** them, they'd be filled with dread
So I'll try my best no to be selfish, I'll keep my secret hidden & just let them rest
but god I can't take it much longer... I'll probably be dead before they even wonder.
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
The stars are pouring through the night sky
Like the tears of a heart without a place to call home
All the questions of 'what if's and all the unanswered 'why's
But if you look close enough, you'll find the beauty in the darkness

There's a story to be told
A lesson to be learned
Never forget that some bridges
Were meant to be burned

They say that misery loves company
If that's the case, then you were meant for me
Though often enough I find myself all alone
While surrounded by most grandest of grand company

But I promise you this with the utmost certainty
That if you look close enough you'll find the beauty with in the darkness

Cause there's a story to be told
And a lesson to be learned
And promise to never ever forget
That some bridges were meant to remain burned

Sadly our paths shall meet their part
For fate favors not the song of our heart
And as it turns out, it is I that misery seeks her company
So please don't bother transcending the tortured existence
Miss Misery gracefully gifted to none other than me

And remember that story that was told
And all the lessons that had to be learned
Oh, and yeah, did I forget to say
That some bridges were meant to burn

Please don't look so sad, if you look close enough you will find the beauty in the darkness
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
stand fast, past the limits of time
perceive my perceptions think quick to flip on a dime
inceptions allowed to alter your reflection

speeding up the mind to unwind the mysteries
of the worlds views on insecurities and mankind's ability
to alter beliefs on others own reality yea claim your free

slow down time so drips drip for eternity
allowing more time for certainty
lies like gun blast ripped threw to me

my voice is that of a ninja silent to your senses
but never unclear with my intentions in a since
my meanings are beyond your understanding
here i am im standing high, wait are you demanding?

i was not handing you the light to speak
your future with me is looking quit bleak
dont follow to close cause you might fall in to deep

your slowing down now leveling out i think you reached your peak
drop habits ingest the lucids to get back up and seek out the ending your mind last speaks hold close your fire for your own warmth to keep

let lose on the world 4 days no sleep
the felling is quit unique, want i should tweak ?
advance beyond your body so weak acid drips
and outer body trips rips your mind apart

when you here me speak you hear it in your heart
try to dissect and digest my meanings and you'll see your mind grows dark
this is not a contest there's no hat take off the bulletproof vest
free your chest to just let go no control
let letting go freely flow threw out your body

now now naughty naughty lucid act
cause you to unjustly react step back take a minute
regain your composer its all almost over
im painting the picture im the composer
i am what is real your just a poser

i king, kings fill there life with shinny things create a new world order
i retain knowledge like a hoarder crossing on boundaries i believe in no borders ultimate freedom in all forms so take flight transform let your minds eye open why do you conform live away from the norm
feel the way of life truly reborn

that is im done no more but rest ashore i will be back
to explore your life more so right now out pour to restore your postwar
and dont forget to your life is lived ******* take care bye bye thats it no more
Apr 2017 · 229
What's your sign ?
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
To say I want to Ram you would be crass.
I'll cut the Bull and skip right to the chase.
You see, I crave your Twins and your tight ***.                          
Unless you have *****, I must kiss your face.
I am the Lion, king of your wild bush.
If you're a ******, I shall set you free.
I'll Scale your curving landscape, make you gush.
Sting like a Scorpion or honey bee.
I shoot like Archers fixed on the red spot.
Like a Goat, I will eat ****-near anything.
As I Bear Water boiling in your ***,
The Fish will stew and you will surely sing.
Baby, this is no cheap-*** pick-up line,
But I was wondering: what is your sign?
Apr 2017 · 222
Lovely hate
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
The light went dim in the street of hate
Another night falls It's your own fate
The Stage is set, come see the show
Nail them up
and let the blood flow

I hate my hate, hate is flown away
I hate my hate, why would you go away
I hate my hate, please stay

Heal our physical wounds with fear
let our kin disappear
The show is over, it's time to go home
**** your children
let the blood flow

I hate my hate, the endless stain
I hate my hate, ease the pain
I hate my hate, hate is me

Sapien business, survival of the fittest
Killer instinct, we are on the brink of extinction
Apr 2017 · 294
Journey threw my madness
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
If properly taken the time to fully unwind the mind you will come to find that its really quit wonderfully sublime.

Take hold my hand  as we transcend this staircase together
threw this un-tethered  decent into my reality

Can you see it? Truly see the beauty of what is known as my insanity
because quite honestly my words are at a lose you see.
Let go the notions placed on Gravity and float away into my infinity to a far away land just you and me.

As we transverse each verse of unrehearsed blasphemy  Ill open up this door so you can see threw to me hahaha this madness is consuming me

Yea I'm a rebel I was born with both middle fingers in the air, ******  raised in the slums of my mother land.
Engraved in my heart the hammer and sickle
as we dig deeper my mind becomes more fickle.

Pray your mind can stand face to face with the very beast born from the  cespool of darkness and evil from the groins of ever demon (Oh god please I cant stop this screaming)  to fight along side the heretic god  not even the brothers grim could dream up what my minds slummed up a total mind ****
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
Rays of light come flooding through the imperious darkness
revealing befor all the surreptitious intentions of felicitous demons
desperate remnants of a once resonating happiness desperately pursue  catharsis from the ever growing  parlous
leaving feelings with no meanings, streaming as the wind carries
the unsung screams of tomorrow's treasons

unconfirmed the pain remains you suffer here  in silence
self medicated poison rots the veins only fueling the violence
schizophrenia soon defines the mind as you try not the panic  
overdrives on over time no desires in living this life constant full auto-manic    

The had you committed and pumped full of pills
medicated vegetated heavily sedated numb to their wicked ways
depression presents new obsession crimson river overspills
burning bridges cutting ties desperate attempt to save their lives
terrified you've justified your plotting their  demise you haven't slept  for days


locked away tightly secure confines of a blood stained straight jacket secured within its stitches carefully woven with malicious and vicious vision sewn together with my many  bad habits
  padded  walls with delusional and falsely portrayed securities beleaguer and besiege my mentality
Silently I transverse franticly the many hidden truths depicted in my mental abnormalities

white coats prep me they plain to steal my fears
a botched lobotomy tried to steal the voices that have plagued me many years  
luckily they hide away deep within the shadows of my insanity
its not I thats ******* up its you how is crazy
no we will never worry about what its like to feel lonely

.

my memories have long be replaced with hallucinatory obscurities  
contemplating my  revgen for my friends they've tried to steal
I found a sharp rode tucked neatly behind my bed
I waited all day and well into the night once they gave the go ahead  I stabbed the orderly in her ear I can tell happiness had replaced the sadness my friends held dear
I suddenly panicked I just knew that doctors were going to **** me a belief transcending all rationality as my thoughts became foggy and  unclear  
and little to no relief would come to ease my mind even fortified in a  barricaded asylum

I can taste all the anger and hatred they had the fueled their desires to end my existence
beating and shooting trying  to destroy my fortress  I remember I chuckled at their persistence  
its was then that my friends insisted hey can help me to escape
saying its the least they could do for revenging their honer

I packed my bag for a far off distant travel to another planet where I can control my own fate
no one to call me crazy no one who wants me dead
no one to to try and take my friends from my head
and the lead me to a bathroom and said it is here I will find
a wormhole visible to only those who share my mind


broken shards of a bathroom mirror litter its jagged remains
circling like vultures around my still lifeless corpse that reflect how I see my diseased brain,
taunting images dance within each fragmented shard accurately depict my insecurities and jaded memories from a time once so long ago
exposing to me inhumanly visions vividly placed inside my mind with surgical precision  
impulsiv dishion clouded all from my vision
and I peered deeply into the eyes of my soon to be God
a wormhole opened up within this  ring of misconstrued fragmented views of defeat portrayed from my tired darkened eyes  
it is with this last ditch effort I pray to unshackle what remains holding me into this existence  as gods smile reasures me  form within fragmented shrapnel  
I bare down with all of my might tearing flesh in my ears begin to resonate severing  my wrists on my broken and shattered reflections perfectly reflecting to portray all imperfections
Kira Alice LeMay Apr 2017
I sit in longing as I... I beckon thy forth...
~I call to you.~
~Still I call~
Your hidden profound beauty among vast arrays of glistening stars.

~I searched for you~,..
~Go-God how I...~
~I se-search for you.~

In every hidden meaning, interlaced within each of your maticaliss and well methodized scars

These?... mem?ories?...
Your...memories?...
Our?... memories?...
They stream like old nostalgic home movies set to play within  the primal depths of my head
like porcelain tears wept by God all loving gaze,  fragile so delicately fragile  to even the slightest misplaced inapt touch, they cry to me and my insecurities even thought you're already longed been dead I still heard your voice in my head

What was that feeling so estranged
What is this... this feeling my emotions engage ?  

there's this nervous bleeding in my brain meandering threw overwhelmingly disdained remnants
As I strain to explain the remoteness of uncharted  depths in witch thoughts of you I try and abstain
upon deaf indifferent ears my cries are wasted. For none would be found to entertain  A chance to pick and ponder, to get lost in and wounder as I  balefully complain.

"~This sound...?~
Why..?. why so loud this admissible Tri-tone "
There's this uneasy, nerve convulsive,  sound raging threw like a Twister birthed a Typhoon of distemper and dismemberment.
as i find myself forever all alone
striking the very foundation of what little stability from remaining fragments of  a once adored and stable reality.
Sadly now found held together by old worn down duck-tape with reaming remnants of what one can only assume to be glue??
barricades foolishly  fortified by the mind of child still innocent to the ways of humanity barely able to withstand the heart chilling  resonating gasp as your final moments spent fighting to the very last second of you being.

"~Hey... he-hey? wake up sil-silly its not cool to play dead in the hospital you know thats like gotta be bad luck haha. hey did you hear me... oh god... oh god no HELP PLEASE I NEED A DOCTOR  don't stop breathing yet please, no..don't go.  You cant leave me yet Im not ready I cant handle life without you No take me with you you promised me forever and I promised you always your a lire your such a lire how could you why could you  are you just going to giving up on me like everyone else in my life was my love not enough for you to stay?~ "

your final inhale...  no I wont believe this I can accept this reality were is the restart button if life's a game we all play to win at death then there must be a way to restart it right....??? "see this is where you would normally lough.. why aren't you laughing please I need to hear you laugh just one more time just once more
I know this is all just a dream ... I . . I . mean it has to be it has to be a dream just a horrible nightmare "


stale air with a hint of old people/hospital  struggle to fill your crackling perfect lungs.
unraveling before my very eyes strung before me your radiant warmth ( your soul)  I feel  started lifting away until cold chills replace any trace of your warmth left behind Frantically I try to find some way to stay anchored  to consciousnesses as hatred replaces my need to preserve my existence

~"Its slipping... I'm slipping ... no oh god see I told I still need you why didn't you listen"
I cant hold on to the strands of sanity you left behind when you left me behind with humanity and is compelling my mind into darkness as I stupor into my craziness~
my hold on reality is slipping  like your soul from your body I cant take much more rampantly I storm fractiously trying to find some way to release the rage embodying me

your lifeless  porcelain soft blue kissed skin becomes the haunting image that has exuded its dominance within my subconscious In a obnoxious promise to forever remain continuous when I sleep and when I wake

as to forever riddle me sleepless nights and ******* up any reason or purops I once felt before like a sucker fish o like  humanity taking everything they can get their hands on and destroying it

I setting here still I wait for this dream to end and I wake up by your side once again
like a puppy waiting on its master to return home I eagerly stand idle
the years pass by and so sets in the numbing theirs just no time for grieving, grooming my mind to remain in denial until the day you fulfill that promise and walk me across the rose petal isles of our wedding day.

What is this pain I have been feeling? I recall feeling it somewhere? sometime? a while back before we got together and I haven't felt it since our first kiss could this be that pain has come back into my existence

Why is it so hard to find someone who undoubtedly unconditionally  cares
I have gone to please one would not imagain possible in search of someone whos hart is not afraid to dare to dare sadly living with a heart that holds more love for everyone and everything then anyone can even think of imagining is quit so lonely
its been so long and Im fading with my memories


LIKE A BANDIT IN THE NIGHT MY SANITY IS ***** AND STRIPPED FROM ME
...YOU THIEF.... why?
like a bandit in the night you steal with such ease my voice, as you plumage threw misconstrued reculations reculated threw my own self destruction.
this left without a purpose, There's no reason to rejoice
There is no reason to rejoice
I am bound so much higher then the timeline resonating days from before
staring up empty  as the discarded remains of my body from the dingy stiff carpeted floor
  ~breath me in child and breath me out~ transcend the transcendence to harol before thy own spark of life
try to grasp the meaning behind you selfish doubt and misrepresent context strewed all about
These shadows dancing seductively down the halls
their toying, scratching gnawing at my walls
so If I must bend to please your mind then so shall I  break as well
you can find my dissociated shadow as my final breaths staggeringly expel I cant take back the sight of another day
carving up and branding my body with each and every word you convey  hoisted here, I can only hang dangling around
each hooked barb used to keep me feet from the warming confort of the ground
crimson pebbles of blood trickling dripping tracing down my  exposed spine fading is the reality set before me I have crossed the center line  S
     I
                x                                 F
                                             E
                                                     E
                                                               ­   T Down
~"Down..?? wait where was up oh god I-I dont kno-know whats what in a world where up is down and down is up"~

Hell?o... (Hello..hello...hello...hello)
I hear my echo leaping, profoundly dancing along the ecos of your fragmented timeline all  around
this chasms great untouched by the corrupted corruption of man cold damp walls has found to be more the perpetually perfect for resonating sound
  ~wait... where did you sound go... Please..please no... wait... come back~   Bury me deep beneath the waves of solemn solitude as so softly I shall drown
softly I will drown as profound silence shall fall the night is nigh cascading my eternal rampages of over rambunctious demons at feud, ~ I shall go?~,
~I shall go... and never again shall my warm touch be felt my soothing voice resonate within your heart??~

~but how...? how Is this truly what love is ? ~
As my skeletons float freely upward  from the long forgotten deapths of the deepest pits scattered across earths vast mighty ground
In search of new territory to spread their unsound sympathies of discord an unnatural enigma of falsely generated stigmas
No closet on this prepubescent earth shall ever lay vast enough within their voids of blacked silence to begin to lay way a suitable lair able to hide from deep within them all
The continuous continuing cycle of ever-being hordes of lies and deceit so great in their numbers they constructed for themselves a framed body to mate its creator  The never ending countless swarms of past skeletons


SO break
just break UGHHH why wont you break?
me down force a tremble coursing threw my bones like a railway as its final distention approaches my knees giving way to my involuntary crawl.
I shall crawl up to your ****** and suckle on the newborn memories
of the forgotten ways of man from old, so simplistically
as your screams soothes and calms me
I am the product of your noted treacheries
SO EXCUSE IF I SEEM TO BE A BIT UNHINGED
MY ANGUISH BOILS AS MY SKIN FALLS TO THE GROUND DECAYED AND SINGED
YOU TRY TO SELL ME YOUR HALF BAKED FALSE BELIEFS
LIKE A BANDIT IN THE NIGHT MY SANITY IS ***** AND STRIPPED FROM ME YOU THIEF
like a bandit in the night you steal my voice
left without purpose There's no reason to rejoice
There is no reason to rejoice

I needed to get out all the racing thoughts from within my mind all these feelings and meanings as they distort and intertwine this was just a random act of random creations   © 4 months ago, Kira LeMay    story • life • sad • depression • death

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