This inconsistency haunting me
Visibly losing my mind
I can’t sleep
Without worrying about a lack of attention
Like I’m giving myself permission
To live in a mental prison
Shackled by insecurity
Feeling like a charity
Asking for a crumb of recognition
As if your existence is what I’ve been missing

So why should I give my loyalty
When all I get is anxiety
Wondering, if you love me
Then when will you show me?
Where one man doesn’t, another man will
I’m finding the will to give someone else the chance
To take this dance of love
And sweep me up off of my feet
The way that you never did
Please step down, so someone else can step up
I’m not your backup for when you **** up
Everything else good in your life
Showed your true colors
Before you could discover
My love that you didn’t deserve in the first place

Thank you, universe,
Saving me from the curse
Of a love that would always have me questioning
Is this my destiny
I have a tendency
To fall in love too easily
Leaving me in pieces
To pick up alone
I’m too grown
To play these childish games
Matters of the heart are something I
Am smart about
So if you are doubting me,
Then you don’t deserve me
You’ll only hurt me
When you can’t love me back the same
I’m no stray, I don’t beg for love
And I will walk away
If I’m made to feel like a mistake, love

Lessening my intensity for your comfortability
Goes against maintaining the truest version of me
It’s not fair to be put on the back burner
Until you’re ready to start cooking
You shouldn’t be looking for a meal
That you aren’t ready to come prepared for
Browsing recipes is one thing
But to buy the ingredients
That you’re going to let spoil is another
I’m having trouble
Deciphering what you want from me
Intimidated by my curiosity
I’m waiting for an atrocity or animosity
You see, I’m not convinced that you can handle me
Can’t call yourself a chef if all you do is prep
But never take the chance to make the meal
Can’t pour from an empty glass, can’t eat from an empty plate
Maybe this is fate starving you
Of all the things that you thought you wanted

Not a man of many words
But you hold my attention
The way you hold my heart
Lovingly
I longingly gaze at you
Can't turn away from you
Why would I want to?
Your smile sets me free
A safe space where I can be
All of me, you see me
For all that I am
Judgment free
Accepting the parts of me that I usually keep hidden
You've risen the bar for those that follow
Sick of swallowing down pain
That no one else tries to understand
You understand me
Cuddle the pain away
You're my sunshine on a rainy day
The clouds intimidated by the way you shine
A light illuminating my darkest rooms
You make room in your heart
For the abundance of love that I have for you
No reluctance in satisfying me
It’s gratifying in ways I never expected
Never neglected, the security of your arms
Keeping me safe from harm’s way
You have a way of making my day
Shine so much brighter
I feel lighter
In the weight of your spirit
You can hear it in my voice
Feel it in my touch
Time with you is never enough
Always craving more of you
It’s true, I’m falling for you

I am a priority
And will go where I am made to feel like one
No more coming undone
For someone who built my walls in the first place
My energy is to be earned
I am to be yearned for
The answer to a prayer
Not found elsewhere
I’m rare
No nightmare, a daydream
You won’t want to wake up from

My time is divine
Like the sun, I shine
And some people are going to get burned
Just from admiring my presence
I’m a present
Wrapped in surprises
It’s no disguise
I’m a blessing
Refreshing
There’s no suppressing
The way that I love
It’s loud
Like the roaring of thunder
Like the gun of a hunter
Like the proud mom in the stands at the high school football game
My love is transcendent
A gravitational force
I will never short myself to fit in
When I was born to stand out
When I was raised to honor my authenticity
And find my stability, independently

I’m not desperate for love
When I love myself in abundance
So excuse my reluctance
When you haven’t proven that you’re going to love me right
I might give you a chance
To be the man I said I’ve been looking for
The one to adore me, to treat me like a queen
If I’m not the first thought in your mind in the morning,
I don’t want to be on your mind at all
Won’t be at your beck and call
If you don’t see that I’m a priority

I know what I bring to the table
And if all you come with is a plate,
You’re going to hate when you leave starving
I’m a 5 course meal by my own **** self
I don’t need anyone else to tell me how delicious I am
I feed myself first
Immersed in my own divine aura
I gracefully decline any invitation
That doesn’t pour back into me
Why should I feed a hungry man
Who doesn’t know how to feed himself?

No more benefit of the doubt when all you’ve given is doubt
I’m about to bow out
Not waiting for you to figure out how to love me
I refuse to play that game
Came too far to backtrack now
A setback is a setup for a comeback
And I came back to take care of my own self
And no one can take that from me
Because I’m a priority

I miss the way our limbs fit like puzzle pieces
Time freezes
And the space where our bodies meet
Sacred
Cocooned in the comfort of your covers
Your hands discover the outline of my curves
The nerves have worn off and I just feel
Peace
Like a piece of home
A warmth of familiarity
Protected from the gravity of the world
Goosebumps run down the length of my spine
Looking into my eyes
So divine
I manifested this moment,
Our lips a single heartbeat from one another
The anticipation stolen from my breath
You might just be the death of me
Or maybe a new beginning
I’m beginning to tear down the walls
Of past promises and disappointment
That others built inside of my temple
So please be gentle
And understand my uncertainty
I am certain that you are capable of loving me
I just need you to prove it

Until the morning
I will be dreaming of us
And what we will be


Fire in your eyes
Igniting my heart ablaze
I can't turn away


My heart trembling
Like the ground beneath my feet
Call it a heartquake


Dreaming is easy
Being awake...not so muc
My heart aches for you


To say I miss you
Is a vast understatement
I can't seem to breathe


Communication
Something you severely lack
******* cowardice


I opened my heart
Vulnerability *****
I just wanted love


Manifesting peace
To run throughout my being
A broken heart, healed


Healing comes in waves
I'm learning to love again
Better, without you

Lavish in the moments,
Take each day with gratitude,
As though you’ve been waiting for this,
To tell the sunrise “thank you”.
Don’t let the past control you,
Don’t let your thoughts grow dim,
Look back at the mirror and smile,
For who you are is not who you’ve been.