Will we find them
Those who believe in just
Just us and justice
Or just the collateral
Both the cost
And the damage
Refrain from
The pain and the strain

We seem to be so ... Much
.. in opposition
But how can that be
If we don't all understand the mission

Clicking along mile after mile clicks in kilometers distance
We need an intermission an
inner mission
Some real resistance
Legality formality it All leads down the hole to mans mortality
Justice became speed bumps
for the rich and powerful
All men are created equal?
Then let's start with some enhancements
More human less technological
Until we get back to that place where humans can be logical
More persistent ... Less insistence
And our opposition should become less resistance

At least we can hope that
human nature is actually
humananallogical

I was aware of a feelings
Like a rustle of silk
When the skin almost crawls
And a shudder is felt
The back of my neck
Raises hairs of pure fear
That tickles like crazy
And you know that crazy is near

Crazy ...Crazy ...Crazy is here !!

Heal me ! Heal me !
I've died --but still breathing
My vessel can't stay --
                  --where nothing is nothing
It gets in my way !

You've got problems I see
But just take a look
Take a look at me
It's insanity .....insanity

Without reason--without doubt
Within reason --within out..... let me out
Let me out ....Let me out ....Let me out

I need to be needed
I need to be used
I want to be wanted
I'm completely confused
I chose to be chosen
I fell to be falling
I seem to be frozen
Yet I still hear you calling

I was aware of a feeling...
        ....like a rustle of silk

like a broken record
that just keeps going round
with that clicking sound
to keep me awake
even when I am asleep
And I keep slamming shut
windows and doors
in vain attempt to keep out
all the what ifs and why fors
yet even with my eyes shut
they still seem to slip in
like the wind
as it whistles through cracks
in the walls
of my broken realities
my regrets become the casualties
of a war torn mind
and its shattered landscape
of bombed out dreams
surrounding me like a flooded field
of all the lost causes
I let slip away
replaced by the empty promises
that I allowed to stay
easier to pretend
than to defend
that it was not me
that was there
while anyone could see the truth
that has burnt itself
across the vast emptiness
of my hollowed eyes
to be seen
even when my eyes are closed
and like a broken record
that just keeps going round
making that clicking sound
keeping me awake
even when I am asleep
surrounding me
like a flooded field
of all the lost causes
i let slip away
to be replaced by empty promises
That allow me to stay.

Once thought I had it but I let it slip right through the only answer that I had was not even a clue somehow I seem to have found an obscured View
But I'm ....not sure
if there was anything else
that I could do
Put yourself out there
                          let your feelings be known
and if you find yourself still all alone
you'll know you tried
everything...
that you're mind was shown
and it's okay if for a while
If you feel a need to **** and moan.
because...
. there are times it would be ea-si-er
  to charge into the path of a cannons Roar
than go through how  it felt to go through
what you just had.  to   endure
And every time you say the same refrain
about how you will never be sure
If you'll ever put yourself up there
where the air is so thin
if or when
or ever be that same you again
just  remember that it's in
the getting out there
not the victory that gives you a win
You can win
the battle
and still lose the war
they can give you shiny little Metals
but what are they really for
Just something to show others
that you
were willing to go
To those places that we all had ...and know
Will make us stronger if not harder
to ever convince....but
that's how you deal with
the turbulent Waters  and turbulence
times that will show
you what that metal shows others
and that is the way
  for you to find your recompense
you should keep your body loose
and with a wide wide stance
ready to move
with the always unpredictable swellz
Or those  just as unpredictable
waves - of - goodbye
Can just be life making some room
for what can be
the waves
of some new hello

Evil is evil is evil is ...
A walking talking entity
And makes so many...
Think that they are meant to be
Superior
So they need an inferior
Race of people they can reach out to
That way they can show the world
Look what I can do
Look what I can do
Look what I can do
Without a single thought
About all the little battles
Of those people who have
So much on their mind
That their heads like a rattle
They wake up in the morning
If they slept at all
Then they hear their head rattle
As they try to get through the day
Dealing with the people who
Reach out  
To be the first ones
First ones first ones first ones
To give them just what they need
And treat them like chattel
And that way they keep the refugees
Down on their  knees
Down on their knees
Down on their knees
As they just keep on losing
Every shred of any dignity
And so they see their kids
And they battle with the rattle
Wander the streets
Of the  ever sprawling Tent City
Thinking please please please
I'm in need yes indeed...
....but not of your pity
Give me something to do
Something to do something to do something to do
Than to be in constant battle
With this rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle...

Picking it up they read
I'm gone. I'd tell you why
You never listen to anything I've ever said
So..Blankety blank blank blank blank
Good - bye
There.... that ought to satisfy

I really shouldn't drink this
Its gonna **** me dead
But who's to say.... that ...
....That ...would really be so bad
So.. Until they prove otherwise
I'll have my little drink
It doesn't really taste too bad
And yes.. I realize its pink!

They worked really hard
To make it
Think of all the time they had
Takes a lot of ****'d persistence
To make a drink that bad

I resisted for a long time
But temptation got the best
So now you know the story
Its just like all the rest
I tremble now with withered hands
That slowly turn to dust

I write this down while I can
While my sanity I still trust
I found a shade  -- a rarity
In this barren land

I lay my bones on the ground
To make my final stand
Can't get up to go again
I have this evil thirst
I've really gotten rotten
Since I took my first

I know it's true
What at the first I said
About how this evil liquid
Is gonna **** me dead

But ..still
I lay here in the shade
As the days get dry and hotter
BUT...at least...I have
An ample supply
Of that GLOWING HOT ...PINK WATER!?

You once had some free time
so you threw it away
don't need another second when the blue skies
are turning to Gray

the crystal ball said it would be all right
all your old friends are doing fine
no need to worry ,
about anyone you can go to sleep
when your day is done
without a worry without a care
without a bit of wisdom
that you can share
just wear your blinders
and they'll keep out the light
to live in total darkness
will be all right

it's not as easy as it may seem to turn a nightmare
into a dream you could do it if you had some help
at least that's what you keep telling yourself while sitting on that rainbow colored mushroom
and talking to that orwellian elf
nobody has any reason these days
to catch the pieces of the old realities
so they seek out new ones
in their Stead and keep them in boxes
underneath their bed

someday when it rains
or who knows maybe when it snows
you'll have some time
to pull  it
and maybe see what life was all about
that is if you have any extra time
in order to check it out

check it out check it out

check out
how often
you always have time

to give a **** or give a thought
or a kind deed

kindness
never costs you much
but it can buy a lot

you may realize that truth someday
when the box beneath your  bed is empty .
..gone away what'you find
is there instead
are page of
the daily news
to keep you warm
to keep you dry
and to be your bed

sleep on the sidewalk

sleep out in the cold
thats where  you'll  find ...plenty of spare time
to try turning
that  nightmare into a dream like the one
that you were once sold
even though
its getting old'
its getting old
it's getting old
just like sleeping out
in the cold
watching  as time keeps passing by
it's getting old its getting so old.....and so am I.

You somehow got the notion
That you know who I am
But the picture that you've painted
Is nothing short....
         ......Of a sham
Abstract interpretations
Has absolutely --resolutely
No resemblance to me
No image of anything
That I'd ever....even.....want to be
So where did you get
Your Information
Certainly wasn't from
Any true observations
Reliance on opinions
Outside of your control
Gives a SLANTED view
That you used to find a clue
So what you finally created
In your mindless revelation
It's probably more like
A  self -portrait
Than you would ever
Want to admit.....to yourself....
....much less ...to anyone else
Look..... look....look....I say
At the picture
Ain't it getting clearer
Funny how it.... Suddenly
Feels like you're staring
Into a mirror
NOW THEN......
....Do you get the picture?
Do you see the flaw?
It's in your inability
To think outside the box
Those four walls that surround you
Really don't exist
Unless they're something
That you need
To help you to resist
Seeing beyond the boundaries
Opening up your mind
Moving past the mundane
Realizing that
You've been blind
To the bigger picture
To all the colors that exist
Besides the black and the white
That right now
Is muddled into a grey
That surrounds you......
.........JUST... LIKE....A...MIST !

I been drunk
I been sober
I been thinking things over
I been high
I been low
I been way way outa control
I been completely unrepentant
And all these thoughts
That I been rentin
Suddenly seem to be
As alien to me as Egyptian hieroglyphics
Just like politicians and specifics
They just don't go together

Bless me LORD for I'm a sinner
I don't believe
I be a worthy soul
You're the judge and I'm a mortal
Man alive...preparing to pay the toll
Its been a knockdown/drag out
Battle from the beginning
Conflicted--evicted
Just what was predicted
I would almost trade my soul
For control
Of all the things to which I am addicted
Bless me LORD
For I'm a sinner
I'm scared of death
And of the holy SPIRIT
Take me down to the HOLY water
Let me drown so I can be
.........RESURRECTED !!

Whatever you do
Do not listen to what I say
Sometimes my thoughts are like seeds
Will plant themselves take root and grow
And it may grow unnoticed until
Somewhere in the future
You'll find shade and  comfort
Under that growth on a hot day

With roots just as awesome and Majestic
As is the crown of many colors
Ever-changing...
... As it puts on its display
Though you may find comfort
In that shade it may  provide
There may be times you wonder about
The view... beyond
that may be denied

It's only human to want that view never seen
To be a person in pursuit of perfection
Unfettered and pristine
Ironic and tragically funny...
How there's always something in between

The very introduction becomes an obstruction
And will be
Until convinced of the offense
Then removed
sheared off at the ground
Only to then find... nothing new
In  this new view ...
... worthy of being seen

So it was not that astute
To be in such dogged Pursuit
Of perfection
That you would forget about the root that had originally anchored
those thoughts in your head
From whence you strayed
And in so doing...
You lost your comfort
And the coolness of the shade

To my future
And I know
That
I'll  find it  
I know
That is me ..waiting for me
Just like-








When I get close
Like metal to a magnet
I'll be drawn in ....
so








I've always known
Where I'm going -

So my hand... take my hand
And pull me up

But I looked

Ultimately
This will be
A slice - a sliver
Of my life
A story of color
Friendship
The Guiding Light
Across the darkened way
That led me
Throughout my life
Even to this very day
And that light
Emanating
From the darkest places
Anyone could ever imagine
But...
This is also the story..
... Of color
Of different values
Different effects
The path I've traveled
That fate directs
So then... to realize
No map exists
To lead me on
Or back down
The trail that twists
No need to seek
A detour once missed
Forward bound
Trusting the light
That led me here
Footprints left behind me
As i watch.....they disappear
While I move. on ...toward the light
...through darkness. that ...
I no longer have need to fear.

How shallow lies
the depravity....
....the obscenity ....
beneath the obscurity
That veiled visage of such audacity
then how quickly
It all falls away
As I have stood
Astonished
Admonished ... By my naivete
Seeing... As it all crumbles
Tumbles away ... with all my faith
the humanity of my being
Like dominoes...down the timeline
of what once was me!

Scattered now
Stomped on and shattered
Battered
Bruised and tattered
Everything that once mattered
Had now vanished
Banished and leaving great voids
Of emptiness
Monuments to those lessons learned
That now awaits...the fates
To fill back in ...if or when
We begin ....to value what was earned

Those precious gifts...
....that so many
have paid..... so much for !!

Apparitions seek  the willing
As the willing seek confirmation
Psychics seek the opportunity
While opportunity seeks a door to knock on
Door knockers seek a helping hand
And helping hands seek desperate causes
Desperate causes seek lonely dreamers
Lonely dreamers seek romantic encounters
As romantic encounters seek lifetime commitments
Lifetime commitments seek walks in the rain ...blazing fires , tender hugs and lasting memories.
Lasting memories seek opportunities
to relive what once was
What once was seeks psychic
to confirm the apparitions willing...
If only it could be.....
As easy as...knocking on a door
For the lonely dreamers
And their lost causes.

I knew from the start
It would be a hard road
What I didn't know
Is how you would lighten my load

I was walking alone
Tryin hard not to think
About the places I've been
And how low one can sink
When I looked up again
I saw you up ahead
Then I knew....
....That the road always knew
That to you I was led

You lightened my load
When you took a hold
Of my hand and I knew
All roads always led back to you

For such a long time
People just came and went
And every dime I've ever had
Was gone before it was spent
I didn't know who I was
I got to where I didn't care
But you lighten my load
And you took me somewhere

Now you are all that I need
Truly more than I deserve
You are the last straight stretch
When my whole lifes been a curve

And you lighten my load
Helping me to move on along
So when I'm feeling so weak
You keep me going strong
YES ..when I'm feelin so weak
You keep me goin on ....
....goin on strong.

So much hope held hostage
by halidom forces
chills the blood
That pulsates and courses
Through
the currents of life
as we subject ourselves
to astralis forces
To create excuses or hope
In lives so fleeting
Among those nocturnal dreams
That always seems
to conjure selcouth reasons
Mysteries we fear
Like gargoyles about to pounce
Any time you are near
And yet you know they are static fixtures of their domicile
Not some archangel in their power
for they
like all Earthly things
Are subjected to an aeolean fate
that eventually will subdue
While far down below
we seek to serry ourselves
Against the fears inside
by non-symmetrical alliances
non - starters for so many "enlightening" humans
I think not
For those fears that we trust
are often all that we remember
Not all that we forgot
no power assumes
To consume... except the ones we've misjudged
Always trust oneself !

Sometimes.....
.......If we're lucky
Life will provide the opportunity
For us to reach down inside ourselves
And then
root around with impunity
Where we may find... a morsel
A grain really...  pull it out
Hold it up and say... Here it is
When in reality
We never even knew
About this thing
We somehow feel that we had lost
So familiar is the very thought of its existence
That's some primal gut-wrenching pain
Would rise up and devour our soul
Should we admit we lacked
Any knowledge of its presence

That is what the writer of a novel
Just did to me as I read
Pulling me into ecstatic Majesty
Of poetic prose
Taking me places where I've never trod

Tearing me into tiny fragments
And then endeavoring to reassemble me
Into something else entirely
As if it were LSD
And I was actually tripping
On the intricacies of the writer's mind

Only 20 pages into this delicacy
Devouring it like it was my last meal
Savoring it
As if nothing else would ever compare

For this recipe
This special taste and feel
Special mix of spices
Never to repeat
Yet that feeling exists
That somewhere long ago
I've had this before
Down deep in those recesses
Like some dish once created
Never written down
Then searched for
Forever and Forever
Till you know it's never to be found

So maybe it wasn't the recipe we seek
But the memories along with
What is lost
Crystallized to a whole package
Somehow into the back of that drawer it was tossed
Where those miscellaneous elements exist
Never needed- never seen- never missed
Until one day...
.. We pushed aside the cobwebs
And we wipe away the dust
Then we say... "Hey look at this !"

That is what the words I just read
Did to the me
That does not- now exist
Just 20 pages of over 400
As I endeavor... To savor
A small morsel... a few pieces
Everyday
Knowing of course
That it may be my last meal
So I have to Make It Last Forever
Nothing else will ever satisfy
This craving that already exists
This delicacy
As the memory of it
Forever will be missed
Forever... Will be missed

By small measure or dispensation
It would seem what's trite may become contrite
By con or connection - substitution or subjection
Going along to get along won't turn wrong to right
Was always proud to not follow the crowd
As so many just clique along followers without a clue
Always seeming to lag behind my independence disallowed
They say two wrongs don't make a right...I smile and say NO! but three lefts do.

Think about it.

Can you hear me
From where you stand
Can you see me
For who I am
Can you feel me
From a distance
Can you ******* ...
.....Bitterness over resistance
Can you smell me
Burning when I'm not

How much distance is there
Between wrong and right
Or do they stand so close
As to block out any light
How many chances are there
To see what you don't
Before it's better to face it
The fact that you won't

Can you understand me
If we speak a different language
Or ever know those across the room
If we're unwilling to build a bridge
Can you ever really reach out
To those you cannot touch

Are we sure the effort
Would never amount to much
Then we'll fear the unknown forever
As each withdraws inward
With every endeavor

To find out
To remove doubt
To understand
And not demand
To meet halfway
As we relish the grey
As a starting place

To be as one
Two be as one
Two be as one to be
And to gather together

To be two as one....
To gather together
Ones to want to be
Together too

It starts with me and you

Well I was human when I woke up this morning
But I'm not sure what I am at the end of the day
I took a long walk down down a short cut
Till I made sure that I had completely lost my way
There are places that you find yourself
That you never want to remind yourself
Was somewhere that you ever allowed yourself...
                                                  ...­...to stray
So when  you look back - at the tracks you left
You try to distract yourself
From thinking it would have ever been
A good place for you to stay

I'm not sure you're qualified
To be the judge
That you've denied  
Is someone that can be relied...on
To go the distance
Without the resistance
That seems to be a big part
Of the human condition
Where they so often give up
Halfway through the mission
Backtracking always lacking
The fortitude
To keep on cracking

Once the going gets hard
They simply discard
Any values they confessed
That they had once possessed
As if they were only rehearsing
The act of being ....a good person

I'm not sure the protocol
What to do when you fall ....short
Of your own expectation
That were never anything ....except
Your own creations

The stumbling blocks
Life on the rocks
Where nobody listens
And everybody talks and talks and talks

So I think I was human
When I woke up this morning
Then the crisis started
Without Any warning
When I had to interact with entities
That just do as they please
Who think they're entitled to circumvent
What is to the rest of us ....the realities
Of living life as a human being

Open to the opinions of others
And looking deep into their world
To try and visualize
What it is that they're seeing

Do that and at
     The end of the day
You may ......
You may ..still...be human!

Not what you said
But... how you said it

Not what you asked
But...how you asked it

Not where you went
But... why you went there

Not what you did
But... why you did it

Not when you did it
But... why you chose when

Not that you wanted it
But... Why you weren't appreciative

Not who you offended
But... That you didn't care...
... Who you offended

That's why our friendship ended

Life ***** when it gets all ******* in nots !

She walks now
With the  springstep of youth
The pain all in the past
Like the child of yesterday
In a childhood
That had flown by so fast

She runs now
With the absolute freedom
Like the horses she loved so much
And now touches
Those loved ones
She has so longed to touch

She flies now
With the grace of the angels
Soaring like the most beautiful bird
Lifting her voice  in song
From a voice as sweet as honey
That had been missing.....
......for way too long.

My shadow follows
   Wherever I go
Keeping me anchored to
   The ground
  I know that
I am more than
Just a hollow shell
But if you try to color me in
     Be sure to go
Outside the lines as well
Because I am more than
A cut -out pattern
I'm an IN-DI-VID-U-AL
  An individual
I have my problems
    That I hope to celebrate
Perfection is not a goal
To which I can relate
My shadow knows me
For who I really am
My shadow shows me
Who it is I  really am
Who I really am
There is a pattern
That I know I have become
Although I fought
All the forces to which
I finally did succumb
Surrender is not a fate
To which I can subscribe
     I will live for
As long as I survive
That pattern describes me
For just a fleeting glimpse
I have lived
A thousand lives
In that moment since
So if you try to color me in
Just be sure to
Go outside the lines
As I am a shadow
Of your vision
Not a product of your designs

I didn't believe in love at first sight
So I had to take another look
She was all my eyes could stand
And that look was all it took

She came across like a line from a song
The kind that makes you feel so good
I had to tell her just how I felt
If I didn't then I never would

You're the woman I've needed
You're the woman I need
You're the reason that I'm all alone
There's a child in me... That nobody can see
A part of me that never has grown

I didn't think I could ever be free
Of this feeling that I've known so long
Something inside that I've long denied
Kept telling me that something was wrong

Looking at you I can see that it's true
There's more to living than just life
I want you now and I want you forever
So baby won't you be my wife

You're the woman I've needed
You're the woman I need
You're the reason that I'm all alone
There's a child in me ... That nobody can see
A part of me that never has grown

I never believed in love at first sight
But baby you're a sight to see
You came along and something went wrong
To the strong silent side of me

I had to tell her just how I felt
If I didn't then I never would

Keith W Fletcher Dec 2015
Twas the flight before christmas
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a computer mouse
All of the people and pets
Were nestled in bed
Waiting for a fat man
In a flying -reindeer sled
Just as I ventured
To slip off to sleep
A noise -- maybe a clatter
Was heard from the street
I ran to get me a view
Opening the window
I put my head through

Down on the corner
Across from the jail
A fat drunken bearded man
Was singing off key
Merry Christmas to all you boys
I hope ya all make it out without fail

The kettle had just enough money
To make my  own flippin bail
I was annoyed  so I yelled down
Go home you soppin santa --you stinkin clown
GO HOME-
So the real Santa might actually appear
F* off you a hole he yelled back
As he popped open a beer
I am the real santa you * head
Then he sorta suggested
My reindeer flew off when I was arrested
Mrs. Clause is so cold
Them elves is lucky they don't get molested
But if you're worried ya won't get your gift
Then get your dumba  down here
And give me a lift
Hastily dressing I wondered
If anyone else might have heard
But the way they were snoring
Obviously they heard not a word
Grabbing a jacket I picked up my keys
Went out to take this crazy drunk home
So that he won't freeze
When I finally found him
It way back behind the dumpster
Where he was tossing his cookies
Being eyeballs by two coppers
Who looked like a pair of rookies
"COME ON " I pleaded  " lets get you home"

He peered at his wristwatch"sh* he exclaimed
I'm supposed to be delivering  gifts in Maine
He clumped into my new Volvo --stinking of *****
"A Volvo" he sneered why couldn't you drive a Ford ..comet
Then he mumbled some words below his stale breath
And my car floated up in the air  -- scaring me to death
He yelled out commands as my car shot forward
"Rides pretty nice" he muttttered" but not as nice as a Ford"
     "On Volvo .. On Volvo .. On ..oh heck .. Just hook a left
   No nonono I mean right
Then he yelled out the window
MERRY(buuurp) CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD EFFEN
NIGHT.    ** **. Cough cough Hoooo!!

My shadow looms largest
At the dusks dwindling light
Overwhelmed by darkness
Disappearing from sight
Leaving me alone to atone
For all that I feel I might have done
in careless disregard for others who
Dont realize night doesnt cover their shadow ...... It joins it to all become one.

Even if
Planned
Were the directions
As obsolete
As the reasons
For the journey
Once no one
But you
Was interested
And what lay ahead

Even if we were
To go along
There would be
Arguments
About where to stop
Where to go
Or which stations
To listen to
On the radio

Not like today
Where silent miles
Whirl Away
Beneath those
Encapsulated
That listen to
Which emanates from
Whichever source
Now substitutes
For the arguments
And the compromises

All in all
I wonder if the Riders
In the cocoons
Of
Independent
Absentee
Interactions
Realize what it is
That they
Will someday find
Was missing

Sometimes I wish
That I could write
Those soft.....ethereal poems
That create dreamy escapes
Words that paint
Those pastel landscapes
You know.......Like..
As the cooling sun
Settled softly into
The rainbow hues
Of another day gone
As the slow velvet darkness
Diamond encrusted night
Gently descending
Like a warm soft blanket
On a chilly night while I lay......
                              ...dozing
She silently tiptoes away
My eyes reluctantly open
Just in time to see ...as she glances back
And I smile...that sleepy motion
And as...A different darkness descends
Where I dream of her
With warm and pristine
Memories and scenes
Then... Later... When I wake
Stiff and cold in the chilled air
Realizing that  I have ... fallen...
Asleep .....again
In my easy chair
The room is cold,empty and lonely
As I realize that nothing covers me
Except for my regrets....that its only
In those....my ..sleepy moments
That she is still here
To do for me
What she used to do
Before she....and life
With my wife... Our life...that
She has now ...passed on thru.

No one was nearby
When I fell... So did I
In  my heartbreak and agony
Make a sound
I'm sure I heard myself
In aggrieved despair
Crying out
When no one was around

So Silence hung
all  around me
Like anger filled air
When silence screams
At those...
... Lost and Shattered dreams
When we knew ... We were through
But had not yet
Come to terms with ...
.......it!

So now you're gone
As so am I
From that place in time
We once shared

Now each side exists
Lost in the Mists
Of lies and lies and alibis
And those futile attempts
To make what's wrong seem right
Trying to create Darkness
From the smallest ray of light

So now I wonder
If anyone was there for you
When and if you finally fell
To let you know...
... If you made a sound
Or were you just a silent victim
When time  lost all hope as well

Did I make a sound when I fell
If no one was there to hear
ME
Crying out in my pain despair and agony
So I guess it's just as well
Yeah... I guess it's just as well

I guess ...
...it's just as well.

I used to be drawn to the light in the night
But I'm getting kind of used to the dark
So now I try ..... to rely
On what I believe is my second sight
Whenever I turn around - to look back
On the places I've been
I pay the price by having all my thoughts
Become tattered as they get scattered in the wind

Never realized how much it mattered
Till I saw it all gets scattered
And I realized what I had lost
Then as my thoughts and my feelings battled
That caused me so much confusion I became addled
I began to believe my wires were crossed

And it always hurt more
Than it did the time before
Because it always tore ...always tore
Right down to the core
It always tore ....right down to the core

The darkness that surrounds me
Seems to have found me
In a place that I just can't escape
Even when dark is replaced by the  light
Still I'm bound by forces
That I don't know how to fight
Even if I could- my energy is all spent
And I don't really know where it went

I used to be drawn to the light in the night
But I've gotten kind of used to the dark
And I'm slowly losing the time that I had
As I expire at the bottom of this jar
I took so many falls - as I slammed the glass walls
So as it is that I am now .....shuffling off
I'm trying once more
To  uncross my wires - in hopes of creating an arc
Going to...go out with style
Just..... one..... last...
One last ...
One last... one...one... one....

.....One last spark!
Cli...CLI....CLICK !!

In my visions the shadows darken
In my dreams the visions harken
Calling me to see inside my dreams
To change what seems a part of me
Looking to be free
The eagle flies
With searching vengeful eyes
The Portrait sees nothing
And yet it still cries
Crawling falling back in time
To see myself is my crime
I lost myself in that vision
But from it I have risen
Now my search is far from over
My dreams are like honey
In sweet clover
Waiting for the bees that hover over
To take me to my destiny
To take me to be free
Is there such a thing as freedom
Will the angels come
When we need them
Is there such a thing as a final place
For the members of the human race
Or will.we circle back To earth
In the form of another birth

It was a nothing day
In a nothing week
In a nothing month
All just part of a nothing year
And as I was sitting there
I came close to saying
All part of a nothing life
In my fit of morose overdose
It was too close
Then I pushed back the plate
Of a non - descript meal
In a non - descript cafe
Where eating alone in
Just added another layer
To what couldn't get any greyer
As I looked out the plate glass
I could see straight through
My own reflection
A fitting end to a  " Hey" I said
" Well what do you know "
My reflection gave me a smile
As the first flake of pristine snow
Passed through it .. as if to say
True reflection isn't seen in the glass
Its how you see with appreciation....
                           .... the inner view
What you let pass right on through ....
                            Or what.....you hold on to.

I've held onto
that memory now
for a long long time.