Sometimes he's not the one you are looking for,
but he is right there in front of you
It's not that he's incomparable but you have no one to compare him to
It's not that he makes you feel you're the only one on Earth but he's nice and once in a while, he gives you a compliment you think about all day and night
It's not that he's funny enough to do stand up comedy, yet he still makes you laugh with his corny jokes and stupidity
He's not the best looking guy out there but he makes you wonder whether looks even matter
It's not that he is your soulmate, but he's there when you need him

Slowly but surely, all these factors add up
and you start to fall for him

You find yourself falling in love with average

I broke it off with the love of my life  
Two weeks after I started a second full time job
Which would have given me enough money
To rescue him.
When I had told him,
His eyes fluttered away from mine
Like a parent's would
And being twelve years older than me,
I guess he had room to look at me like that.

What do you do when the one person who you care about
More than Kubrick or living
Decides he does not want to
Put you in a position where
You have to take care of him
Even though you've always been the adult in the situation
And you've grown quite fond of it?
What do you do when not even a week after the parting
You find yourself
Growing attached to another walking disaster
Who's body may quake when you touch him
But who's skin crawls with the ghosts
Of lost admiration
Under your fingertips?
In a world where I was made out to be a goddess
I am now just another cog in the bougeouise high-earning machine.
I let love make me it's victim and now
I am the Greek goddess of regret
And I am fascinated by the way men ruin themselves.
He told me he didn't want me to have to be
The person who is constantly drowning in work
Just to keep our heads above water
But I would have walked to hell and back
Barefoot
If it had meant helping him and staying with him.

Today I woke up in the same bed as my new love
And when my fingers grazed his bronzed
And toned back,
I looked for your scar
And it wasn't there
And I panicked.

Tomorrow I will wake up in bed alone
And I will look for my own scars
And I will find them
Stretching across all the skin you caressed
And the heart you left in shambles
And I will rejoice in being home.

after he ****, he asks me what time my curfew is
I told him it doesn't matter

after he ****, he says he's tired
so I don't talk

after he ****, he doesn't look at me the way he did in the beginning
I turn around and look outside the window

after he **** he doesn't want to touch me anymore
I keep my hands to myself

after he ****, he wants to go home
but I want to lay on his chest

I rode in a car with a kid accused of ******
He was the driver, and he wanted to safely
Get me home.
I used to call him one of my best friends,
So maybe I was blind sided to think he never murdered that man.

I once stayed around a "drug dealer" for 3 days straight
He got arrested because he got caught
Cops considered him dangerous.
I always thought he was one of the nicest people I knew
Now he's bailed out and new and improved.
He talks all the time about how
Drugs will never affect him again

This girl I knew overdosed on pills.
She never saw the police,
But I heard her lips turned blue,
Her eyes turned dark,
And her skin lost color.

Ever since then she's been in therapy.
I think it's okay to not trust her
I think it's okay to not trust someone
That would blame you for their problems

my eyes are heavy and watering
But I don't remember the last time I cried
I left my respobilities far too early today
I should feel bad,
But instead I'm staring at a television
With animated figures
All this time I tried to be straight forward
And they called me abstract still