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 Feb 2016 kfaye
Joshua Haines
I want to be a dog's growl:
  as rough as bark.
As I ruff and I bark
  until my throat bleeds,
down my tongue,
  and clots, choking me.
Strangling my anger.

  I want to bite God's hand
and taste the scars and lines.
  I want to run alongside
the downfall of man
  like I'm chasing cars.
Waiting to be run over.

I want to be castrated,
  neutered,
so I can fall in line,
  so I can conform,
so I can be me in a sea
  of nobody else.

I want to be beaten
  with a chain
attached to my neck.
  I want to be on t-v.
I want to be saved.
  I want to betray trust.

Generic. Generic.
  I want to be like this poem:
  generic, you martyr.
You genocidal ****.
  You deadbeat.
You racist.
  You sexist.
You intolerant ****.
  I want to chew off
my trapped leg.
  I want to be a dog's growl.
 Feb 2016 kfaye
Joshua Haines
There is a couch and it is where I fall.
My seventeen year-old legs,
bandaged with bumblebee knee socks,
arch like ****** pink lawn-flamingo joints.
Crookedness meets at
cigarette skin thighs: grape-kiss fingerprints,
like mental leprosy, projected.
My eyes meet at where fingers told me to stay
and where the knuckles followed.

Acorn ***** hair sleeps in a tuft,
woken by the brush of a thirty-three year-old soccer coach.

-

My Vans grip sandpaper tape,
preceding clicks: sliding up and down,
like graduation day maternal comfort,
like dirt-under-the-fingernails *******.
Clicking wheels, sound waves
smacking across asphalt jungle.
Sounds escaping and reminding me
of how I'll never.

I'm not in love --  not sure if I can,
be affectionate towards the things
I don't understand.

I'm not in love -- even if I could,
I don't think I'd care like I should.
warthogs for men singing amen
i ink my scars with a ball point pen
buffalo grass and ******
they want *** but won't die
i want *** but it's not me
they tell me that I'm pretty

i smoke **** in a blazing forest
i feel as rubbery as a curious tourist
and plenty of coke goes in my nose
i bleed headaches, when it rains it snows
i'm dreaming of a white christmas, i suppose
with my squad when i don't want to feel alone

i make lies but can't hide like room raiders
i cut up coke for all my haters
with a side of oxy
tells me that I'm foxy
right before he knocks me
my brain goes on high alert
i can ******* stomach
because cake was yesterday's desert

i say that we're proxies
i take the red pill
some like oxys  
some like bikini ****
some nights aren't so chill
some brains are mentally ill
but he doesn't like to feel, y'feel

tell me if you want a
*** flavored banana
a broken heart from havana
or to drink my coke flavored blood
dragging me through the mud  

whoops
son of sam
touch my **** like we're not fam
drug me if you want to slam
my head off the coffee table
i'll choke on fear until i'm not stable
i pretend i'm in a fable
this can't be real
does he not feel

break it off and shove it down my throat
cut me into pieces
make a blood moat
oak splinters suffered through winters in my spine
find you in jail and you ask if i'm fine

i break off rhymes like i break out grams
shaking because of a spiked promise
i wish i wasn't here
i wish i wasn't here

sham in the garden of clouds. when you '****' you want people around
when i cry, you hear no sound  

buffalo grass and ******
they ******* but ask why
my box in their face
i don't want to be in this place
 Feb 2016 kfaye
OldSchool Bill
Coffee in hand
Bob observes from
Behind self imposed bamboo roller shades
Sun launch’s everyone’s day
Road, runway, path, sailboats just out of reach
Too hot, cold, dark, bright, wet, dry
Need to eat something
Breakfast most important meal of the day
Nothing to wear
Need a haircut already
Sink so *****, what if someone saw
Run dishwasher or wash by hand
How did the fan get ***** again
Gas $3.09 a gallon
What if there is a break in
Tomorrow will be Better
Just know it Will
STOP
Turn Around
That’s what Friends Do
 Feb 2016 kfaye
OldSchool Bill
Hostage Sun,
Inside fog’s drop,
Ransom paid
 Feb 2016 kfaye
Antony Glaser
My friend's visiting Calico cat hid
under the TV table recently
a momentary panic is a very long time
when uncertain in anothers space.
Reminds when I was 9
I lost my locket
and told a fib
on how it vanished under the sofa
clearly somewhere along  the hither
there lingers a trace of a lie
 Feb 2016 kfaye
Antony Glaser
I don't feel better or worse
as I watch you seated
journey bound,
wondering what sort of person you are:
twirling fingers on the mobile
yet waywardly enriched by your eyes.
I shall remember,
looking for human qualities
red hair and black mascara
and high cheek bones to marvel at
in broad daylight.
 Feb 2016 kfaye
Antony Glaser
Suzanne the bluebird in you
made me wander away
to seize the moonlight for you
The enthrall of welcome back
freed the gift.
The glint in your eye took us elsewhere
for such is a balm
in this bid we find ourselves
rescuing each other
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