I carry the guilt
like the devil is on my shoulder

I didn't mean to steal your thunder
you should have never been put on the back burner

you were my warrior
in the battle that became

I just wanted to be like you
envied the strength that you portrayed

Just know
that you deserve everything you came to be

I still have yet to make peace with the past
and to do that
can we go back to the beginning?

rewrite the past
to leap into the future

I am sorry I dug this grave between us

I never meant to

I lost myself somewhere in between the thin white lines on the table
Constantly chasing the high of feeling something

And maybe you don’t get it
And maybe you will never understand

But now
I see

I have ****** up in total

and I pray to god that you will be happy

Even if it's without me

Death is not always a body that shuts down

I have learned that it can also be watching the one that you love walk out the door

Maybe i was fooling myself when i thought we were invincible

Because now i lay here in this bed alone

And as i roll over to touch your skin

You aren’t there

Bile is rising in my throat

You threw me away like I was something to be ashamed of

I have been here before
I once felt the pain of a broken heart
I came to understand that the feeling doesn't just go away
Everything at that point stops moving,
You get to see nothing, you only feel the suffocation like the ground beneath your feet burns, fingers numb because your heart clearly remembers it all.

and if i die tomorrow don’t worry
i’m already used to hell

Do not tell me that was the end

the contempt has finally left my body

and I am ready for the beginning