Illustrate my life?
That is not going to be hard.
But it will be sad,
At least in the beginning .

I grew up the weak one,
the one who didn’t do sports.
I now understand why
but back then I didn’t know.

Looking back I realize,
Just how much
my disease controlled me,
And my lifestyle.

Nobody knew the truth,
Not even me,
Until recently.

I lived my life
in the eye exam room,
thinking that was normal.
Constantly wearing an eye patch
Or new glasses.

I grew to love the hospital.
We would get ice cream afterwards.
And that was the best!

It wasn’t until later that I realized
That not being able to see depth
And being two to three shades lighter than everybody,
Having pale eyes
when I should have dark hair...
That wasn’t normal,

I was weird.

I started asking the doctors
And my parents
About what was wrong.

I learned mostly sad things;
I was a mutant,
I was abnormal,
and the doctors wanted to run tests on me
to see what would happen.
(I said no)
People say their childhood was a fun time,
But for me, it was the hospital
The check ups,
the questions,

But now I don’t care,
Though I still live very carefully
with my eyes and my skin,
And so many things that could go wrong,
That is why I hate summer.

But my disease doesn’t define me,
although I do have a weaker body,
so I have lots of other problems,

Problems that are all
side effects to being albino.

Free
Free of the rules
Free of the worry
Free to play and have fun.

We grow up
Slowly learning
about the world around us.

learning to talk
and learning to walk

We learn to have imagination
and to create with our minds

we learn how to have fun
and how to enjoy life

and so we live life
to the fullest,

thinking that this is all that life
will ever be.

That we were born,
So that we can have fun,
And play
With everybody

We didn’t care about race.

Because when we are young,
we are all innocent.

Living in a world of beauty
and excitement.

Looking at everything with new eyes
knowing we will always find something new
something that we have never seen before

Life; a bud in spring
that we are slowly watching open
so we can discover
the beauty inside.

Sights, smells,
a whole world
just waiting for us to discover them.

New things
old things,
anything
To overload our senses

The joyful trees in summer who dance with each other to the music of the wind,
The delicate butterfly in the garden who comes up to us, asking to play in the garden
The rattling truck outside our window racing towards a fire (that might be on the moon),
The lazy white clouds that form shapes in our mind, telling the story of a family of penguins,
The stories are endless…

So many new things,
that we have yet to learn about
or completely understand.

But we don’t mind
Because when everything is new,
we can’t hate anything.
We don’t know that word
Yet we don’t need to

Thinking to ourselves
that the world is huge
and that it is a wonder in itself.

That the world is a place
where everyone who we meet
could maybe be our friend
just for today

Where the only thing that limits us
is our imagination
and we can never get bored
because we can always think of something new.

Everyone wants their childhood back
Once it’s gone,

We all miss it
Because when we are children,

We are truly free.

Walking home, I saw him
Bright red hair and a drawn face
Fumble with his package
and fall
But I walk past
because I do not know him

The next day
I see his picture
as the headline of the paper
saying

Teenage Boy found
after having committed suicide

I read farther and learn
he had not parents,
only an abusive foster family

his package contained
pills from the doctor.
They were supposed to go to his sick brother
but he, himself, was sicker.

I remember that day
that look of fear
mixed with hope

hope that after he was done
he would no longer live in fear
no longer be scared

I remember.

But I also remember my feeling
my feeling of disgust
when he looked around after he dropped the package
as if scared
someone might have seen him
and punished him for his wrong-doings

But at that time,
I didn’t think he mattered
just another boy on the sidewalk

I did not stop to help
I did not think he mattered

But I learned
after being so close to another human
yet so far away

That every life matters,
no matter who they are,
or what they look like,

No one should have to die
in order to escape their life
in order to feel welcomed.

I only am sad
that it took a life to show me
that I didn’t know right away

That he payed the price
for my innocence.

It’s the sun that I’m frightened of

Not beasts
Or bullies
Or other bad things

The sun is the one thing that I am truly scared of

Less than 10 minutes outside
And I’m burnt to a crisp
Looking out the window
My eyes are forced to squint

THe sun warms us all
And lets plants grow

But my albino self can't find the good
In the flaming ball of fire that lets us live on this planet

Give me a few choices
about what to do with my life
And I will gladly chose the one
that fits me the best and be happy with where I am

But the world is a vast place
with so many things to do.

I am not into only one thing
I want to do more
than I ever could with my time on earth

So here I am,
about to join the workforce
without any idea about what direction my life will go in

And you are asking me, a 17 year old girl,
to decide exactly what I want to do with my life
when I have experiences to little

And then you laugh when I tell you
I'm having a mid school crisis
and that the stress is overpowering
and that I'm slowly losing my mind

Don't ever be the person
who gives up what they need
for what others want.

Don't ever be the person
who forgets who they are
to help others
find themselves

Don't ever be the person
who is used and thanked
then forgotten
until they need to be used
again.

Take care of yourself
first
before taking care of everyone else.

They want your help
but you can't help them
unless you help yourself first

April is a young girl, nearing the end of grade school
With rosey-red spring-like curls.
and eyes clear as a crystal

She comes dressed in a polka dot raincoat and bare feet
With a little ladybug umbrella at her side

She loves to see the gentle green sprouts
popping out of the ground
who are dolls for her to care for.

She spends her days outside,
dancing in the rain and
splashing in the puddles and
Muddy boots and grubby hands
follow wherever she goes

She is best friends with May
and the two of them will grow gardens
together.

She can be cold and dreary
but never very long
and may surprise you with sudden warmth.

She is sweet and innocent
but is sometimes bullied
by those who want her to go away.
But she always comes back, another day.

Shenanigans and tomfoolery fill her days
and she loves to make a joke of you,
But she never means it
because April always fools.

April will leave you baffled
and breathless after 30 days of play.

Sitting alone on the park bench
I look down at my hands
And think about how my lover talks to me
No words needed because I know that:

Every bruise says “I love you”
Every scar says ‘Never leave me’
Every broken nose says “You are the best thing that happened to me”

Showing me with every punch
That I am loved and appreciated
And that I cannot ever leave

I told him I was a project
Trying to make him leave
He deserved so much better
That was what I believed

Yet here he was again
Never once left my side
He said I was his project
And that he would come for the ride

I was a broken being
Thought I would never heal
He waited out my pain
And helped me learn to feel

I owe him a great debt
For never did he go
We both have hard our struggles
We both have learned to grow