Sitting alone on the park bench
I look down at my hands
And think about how my lover talks to me
No words needed because I know that:

Every bruise says “I love you”
Every scar says ‘Never leave me’
Every broken nose says “You are the best thing that happened to me”

Showing me with every punch
That I am loved and appreciated
And that I cannot ever leave

I told him I was a project
Trying to make him leave
He deserved so much better
That was what I believed

Yet here he was again
Never once left my side
He said I was his project
And that he would come for the ride

I was a broken being
Thought I would never heal
He waited out my pain
And helped me learn to feel

I owe him a great debt
For never did he go
We both have hard our struggles
We both have learned to grow

Give me a few choices
about what to do with my life
And I will gladly chose the one
that fits me the best and be happy with where I am

But the world is a vast place
with so many things to do.

I am not into only one thing
I want to do more
than I ever could with my time on earth

So here I am,
about to join the workforce
without any idea about what direction my life will go in

And you are asking me, a 17 year old girl,
to decide exactly what I want to do with my life
when I have experiences to little

And then you laugh when I tell you
I'm having a mid school crisis
and that the stress is overpowering
and that I'm slowly losing my mind

It’s the sun that I’m frightened of

Not beasts
Or bullies
Or other bad things

The sun is the one thing that I am truly scared of

Less than 10 minutes outside
And I’m burnt to a crisp
Looking out the window
My eyes are forced to squint

THe sun warms us all
And lets plants grow

But my albino self can't find the good
In the flaming ball of fire that lets us live on this planet

April is a young girl, nearing the end of grade school
With rosey-red spring-like curls.
and eyes clear as a crystal

She comes dressed in a polka dot raincoat and bare feet
With a little ladybug umbrella at her side

She loves to see the gentle green sprouts
popping out of the ground
who are dolls for her to care for.

She spends her days outside,
dancing in the rain and
splashing in the puddles and
Muddy boots and grubby hands
follow wherever she goes

She is best friends with May
and the two of them will grow gardens
together.

She can be cold and dreary
but never very long
and may surprise you with sudden warmth.

She is sweet and innocent
but is sometimes bullied
by those who want her to go away.
But she always comes back, another day.

Shenanigans and tomfoolery fill her days
and she loves to make a joke of you,
But she never means it
because April always fools.

April will leave you baffled
and breathless after 30 days of play.

Walking home, I saw him
Bright red hair and a drawn face
Fumble with his package
and fall
But I walk past
because I do not know him

The next day
I see his picture
as the headline of the paper
saying

Teenage Boy found
after having committed suicide

I read farther and learn
he had not parents,
only an abusive foster family

his package contained
pills from the doctor.
They were supposed to go to his sick brother
but he, himself, was sicker.

I remember that day
that look of fear
mixed with hope

hope that after he was done
he would no longer live in fear
no longer be scared

I remember.

But I also remember my feeling
my feeling of disgust
when he looked around after he dropped the package
as if scared
someone might have seen him
and punished him for his wrong-doings

But at that time,
I didn’t think he mattered
just another boy on the sidewalk

I did not stop to help
I did not think he mattered

But I learned
after being so close to another human
yet so far away

That every life matters,
no matter who they are,
or what they look like,

No one should have to die
in order to escape their life
in order to feel welcomed.

I only am sad
that it took a life to show me
that I didn’t know right away

That he payed the price
for my innocence.