She's jealous of me
No, not jealous
I sound condescending
Let me try again
She meant it as an insult
Fully knowing how it sounded
Like a sick compliment
But she meant it of course
And still it stung
She works tirelessly
Oh, how could I forget
I try, sure, she says
At the last minute
So yes, I'd say she's jealous
Though I'd never really mean it

Your lips, they taste so incredibly sweet on mine
Like rays of sunshine or of purest wine
I want to bask in your wonder, savor your smile
I long for your arms to surround me in thunderous showers
I don't need romantic gifts or silly little flowers
I want to soak up all your beauty, listen to you dreams
Take on half your problems, as you have done for me
Meet the my final hour with you at my side
You're with me in my fury, in my devilish delight
I ache for you to be near me, for your whispers in my ears
Hold me close to you, save me from the tears
I want to truely see you, be around you all the time
Fore when I'm left alone, I lose the best part of me
That you helped me to become

(I don't need you to complete me,
But without you I'm not full,
And with you hand in mine,
I love you that much more)

You taste like burned chocolate because sweet things fade first

Don't get into that car I scream
But I am trapped on the opposite side
of plastic window panes
Don't take her away
she's barely sixteen
all alone this time
(God, I'm glad its not me)
Don't get into that car I whisper
to a black Toyota Camry
sitting in the street
waiting, just waiting
for its quarterly visit
Don't get into that car I exclaim
to a black and white bumper sticker
that says "read" in chunky (ironic) block letters
Don't get into that car I choke out
to the four wheeled death trap
that takes away my sister
on an eight hour journey
back to childhood misery
that I myself
have only just aged out of
Don't get into the car I say
to the exhaust that's left in my sister's
wake.
(knowing it will make no difference)

Why don't you ask?
(Not that I want you to.)

blood moon in the distance
drinking cider by the courthouse
blowing out the speakers and the candles
I wish it all away
with the autumn leaves
I leave in winter

I took a knife and cut out
Every part I didn't like
But
What I had left
Was no longer me

A catalyst for change.
Spared by
romanticized what if's
and shadow selves
who pass bets on
potential.
I am a cause
ensnared
by the razor thin wire
I walk.

Throw me away
like a bowling ball
Literal dead weight
Taking up space

I don't know if it's the caffeine
That sunk into my system
Or if it's the thought of you
That's stuck inside my mind
But I can't find rest
My heart keeps going
I can't keep up
Days blur
Hours fade
Seasons start
And I'm too awake to take it all in

his isolation was over-won by desperation
and he couldn't fit in, instead to conform
he tried to stand out
the outcast, alone.

they laughed, the feared, they snickered
"I'm going to drop kick him," one said
a mouth once full of praise now
barring teeth that housed a two-sided tongue.

I'm not so good
At sweet sympathy
I see your crestfallen face
My darling, desolate heart
My soul cries out for you.

Though I try,
My attempts are veiled by
An apathetic mouth that betrays
An empathetic mind
My feeble attempts at comfort
Are overshadowed
By your natural solicitude
And concern for my steady stream of
"Problems"
I ache to be there for you
But once again, I am reminded
Of my extensive shortcomings

And suddenly I've done it again
...it's always about "me"

I think that you're oblivious
clueless to life and reality
It's not really a bad thing
but I think that I am jealous

You stride through doors--
Confident, a simile high in place
but I can't seem to feel that way
and believe me I have tried

We are part of different lifestyles
born of different worlds
and I think yours is better
than this place I call my own

He was the kind of boy
Who liked thunder clouds
And rainstorms

But I was just a girl
Who loved clear skies
And sunshine

I am a kaleidoscope of color
Refracting spectrums of images

Let's take on the world
I'm tired of feeling sorry
I'm not anymore

You are more real than a Friday that never comes

Sometimes the pressure is just to much
I know I'm not alone in this but I think I'm gonna pop
You feel it too, I know, but you try not to let it show
I'm starving for an answer, I beg you for a truth
A response to know you're there for me
like I was there for you

Sometimes I picture happiness, it starts with your similing face
I try so hard to forget it, let go of all the dreams
I live in a reality, where you were meant for me
but no matter what I say, no matter what I do
I know deep down inside, I can't live my whole life for you

There we were, all three of us
With triangle flags proudly flying team colors: red alternating with black, hung above our heads

The sky displayed a golden overcast and 90's glow, we immersed ourselves in the misty chlorine rain, created out of sunset teenage days, we indulged in the vintage filtered vibes that were formed of summer storms,

We remained treading in fluorescent blues until the leftover orange, lemon-yellow, and soft peach colors of the afterstorm flooded into the foggy pool,

...and there were chapped lips--cinammon sweet, water-worn fingers, and stinging red eyes hidden behind Ray Bans.

Their daydream smiles were two weeks behind, brimming with nostalgia of a previous decade

...

I miss them like spring--they're already gone, don't they dare to linger on me like afternoon heat, causing glassy water to absorb a fading season's warmth

But soon evenings will go cold and the afternoon air will turn to college sweatshirt nights, and a fleeting season that can never exist will leave me behind, even though I don't want it to...

(Babe, your summer lasts a year longer than mine ever will)

Would you believe me if I said I was okay?

I should have known better than
to bring the outside world in
but I was rash, carefree in nature
and I was naive, careless with nature
and four little eggshells fell
how offputting they lay
where life granting blessings seldom belong
nothing could be done to remedy
three perfect birds to be, gone
and one lofty mistake
left in a pile of goo

Look at me
See how I smile right at you!
A grin stretched across my face
Reflecting your happiness right on back
I am what you expect to see,
A reflection, no surprises
But don't you dare peek through the other side!
Stare right through me, discover the trick
And really I'm not so joyful at all

I wear sunglasses during thunderstorms in a vain attempt to protest the weather
I might as well be colorblind for the way I see the world
Snapping photos with no understanding of shutter speed and lenses yet still capturing it all
It’s a lie when I tell you I’m quiet and I really just like listening as you talk
I care but without telling stories of my own the love is never really there
At times I fold in on myself
But when you truly see me, I am vibrant in my efforts
Though tragically living
for the attention of strangers
I will move for your affection
jump with a flick of your wrist and fall at the jolt of your chin to the beat
Enthralled in a hopeless attempt at rhythm but I will dance and swing because I love it and then debate my independence or selftitled complacence
Walk the rope of possibilities not a choice but a misstep to guide my momentum into whatever chapter comes next
Scared of silly things like truck drivers or dying or whatever
Thinking outside the box is hard when you spend your days in a room full of cubes
I find my creativity stifled by the human need for sleep and yet here I am giving 50 percent at everything all the time never less, BE MORE
That’s not quite enough, but hey, it’s a start

I am sorry for the words that I clipped short

I can't clasp your hand
For when I fall
I won't be able to catch myself
And I'm not trusting enough
To rely on your strength
To keep me upright
Not that I don't think you're capable
But I won't give you the chance.

you. lied.
with twists of confession
mixed a facade of protection
made it taste like honey
but no-- its not as sweet

its. bitter.
every hope and dream and life together
left alone, lost, to wither
a cold voice mocks me--
it haunts me

this is NOT my defeat
it may be my downfall
but its not my end
in short, you lied
but really, you were never my friend

love starts out as snow flurries then turns into blizzards

I have reached the edge
phantom burdens hover beneath my feet
providing the extra weight
to keep me grounded
I run out of track
ultimately leading to my demise
I'd like to think I would have continued
slowly trekking upward
a singular course
I need not get off
but I turn
and take the scenic ride
floating down over the distance once covered
a changing season may bear differing results

there's a girl with red hair
and vintage red polka dot dresses
she doesn't miss anything
save for the five foot mark
she's a short little firecracker
full of opinions and wit
soft souled
one of those girls with an affinity for quaint little boutiques
with over priced trinkets
(don't even get me started on used book stores)
a grounded free spirit
who buys tea at coffee shops
I couldn't remember her order if I tried
pictures never capture her
moments fill her feed
she holds nothing back
(vulnerability excluded)
toddlers make her laugh more than cute boys
her heroes consist of Ron Paul and Leslie Knope
(can't forget John Mulaney)
car trouble every other day
single handly solos twelve hour road trips
not a moments hesitation
spontaneous and steadfast
drives an hour just for donuts
southern baptist?
heels and tights
more stories than battle scars
titles fill her desk
from poetry pages to presidential plaques
her range is astronomical
no shame in wearing pajama pants
into gas stations or grocery stores
her heart gives itself away
in water color paintings and chocolate chip cookies
no no she can't eat that
"I'm lactose intolerant, remember?"
laughs and eats it anyway
I could sum her up in a sentence, but an encyclopedia is not enough

I loved you more each day so I stopped counting