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370 · Mar 2021
Talk to me like it’s 2017
kaycog Mar 2021
I just want to sit here and exist without feeling bad about it.
361 · Mar 2017
of boasts and ball gowns
kaycog Mar 2017
piano, grand central lobby
bubbly drinks as personality
glossy lips, champagne flowing
hanging on
overhead chandelier
looming
marble tiles bright like futures
shining when stepped on
footsteps soft
clicks saved for heels
an abyss filled with zealous voices
down dim halls, empty girls creep
into cavernous rooms
spacious, love seats looking lonely
another creaking door down
electric wood burns
no reaction
oil portraits come to life
pastels poisoned
the watching moon
through broken panes
curtains close on brass rods
lining walls with delicacy
candle lit bookshelves
lead the mission
wander aimlessly away
slip back into the noise,
the life, the crowd
keys echo out of tune
kaycog Nov 2014
Your lips, they taste so incredibly sweet on mine
Like rays of sunshine or of purest wine
I want to bask in your wonder, savor your smile
I long for your arms to surround me in thunderous showers
I don't need romantic gifts or silly little flowers
I want to soak up all your beauty, listen to you dreams
Take on half your problems, as you have done for me
Meet the my final hour with you at my side
You're with me in my fury, in my devilish delight
I ache for you to be near me, for your whispers in my ears
Hold me close to you, save me from the tears
I want to truely see you, be around you all the time
Fore when I'm left alone, I lose the best part of me
That you helped me to become

(I don't need you to complete me,
But without you I'm not full,
And with you hand in mine,
I love you that much more)
355 · Nov 2018
I love you, November
kaycog Nov 2018
blood moon in the distance
drinking cider by the courthouse
blowing out the speakers and the candles
I wish it all away
with the autumn leaves
I leave in winter
355 · Jul 2016
Silent [10w]
kaycog Jul 2016
Why don't you ask?
(Not that I want you to.)
351 · Jul 2016
Sour heavy lost breath
kaycog Jul 2016
Tiny little baby hands
Soft heart rapid racing
Cheerful wispy child's laugh
Growing bigger running legs
Spiteful angst in adults wake
Peaking fast held high chin
Stretching arms reaching peak
Weary head laying down
Tired body underground
349 · Jul 2016
Forgive me... not
kaycog Jul 2016
I'm not so good
At sweet sympathy
I see your crestfallen face
My darling, desolate heart
My soul cries out for you.

Though I try,
My attempts are veiled by
An apathetic mouth that betrays
An empathetic mind
My feeble attempts at comfort
Are overshadowed
By your natural solicitude
And concern for my steady stream of
"Problems"
I ache to be there for you
But once again, I am reminded
Of my extensive shortcomings

And suddenly I've done it again
...it's always about "me"
kaycog Jul 2016
I hate talking to
You. When I'm basically
telling everyone
I'm not going to leave any notes. It's not always about personal things, but it still irritates me. Sorry.
348 · Apr 2017
i wonder why
kaycog Apr 2017
Marty works over-time
as a janitor
cleaning up after bright eyed students
employed at a college
he can't afford
to send his kids to
347 · Jul 2016
Time Lapse
kaycog Jul 2016
Miles stretch longer than minutes
Counting off like ceiling tiles
Wasting away in numbered rows

But then minutes drag on for miles
And silence lurches passed
Withering away in fashioned lines
...and I waited
347 · Jul 2023
Labels
kaycog Jul 2023
It shape-shifts
Almost recognizes me for what it once was
Yet love now hides behind guarded eyes
Hardened to safeguards and boundaries
Close, but measured
Each interaction separated with caution
Breathless not but held instead
Demotion
Gives falling in love a new name
kaycog Aug 2016
I don't know if it's the caffeine
That sunk into my system
Or if it's the thought of you
That's stuck inside my mind
But I can't find rest
My heart keeps going
I can't keep up
Days blur
Hours fade
Seasons start
And I'm too awake to take it all in
kaycog Jul 2016
Throw me away
like a bowling ball
Literal dead weight
Taking up space
343 · Mar 2017
when in roam
kaycog Mar 2017
They met in Vienna, by happenstance in Rome
While a stranger to adventure, in Europe she was home
Fresh out of college, he journeyed over sea
no books but a backpack, a lone friend and he
Criss-crossing countries their paths would intersect
ever so romantic, a once in a lifetime movie effect
months went by, and not-quite lovers lived on
until, suddenly, his front door step she stood upon
for an Austrian thanksgiving, to Ohio she flew
one dinner was all, she bid him adieu
342 · Dec 2014
Divided
kaycog Dec 2014
I think that you're oblivious
clueless to life and reality
It's not really a bad thing
but I think that I am jealous

You stride through doors--
Confident, a simile high in place
but I can't seem to feel that way
and believe me I have tried

We are part of different lifestyles
born of different worlds
and I think yours is better
than this place I call my own
341 · Nov 2014
You + Me - You = Now
kaycog Nov 2014
He was the kind of boy
Who liked thunder clouds
And rainstorms

But I was just a girl
Who loved clear skies
And sunshine
339 · Jun 2016
Cut. It. Out.
kaycog Jun 2016
I took a knife and cut out
Every part I didn't like
But
What I had left
Was no longer me
338 · Nov 2014
10w
kaycog Nov 2014
10w
You taste like burned chocolate because sweet things fade first
337 · Nov 2016
...and it drove her away
kaycog Nov 2016
Don't get into that car I scream
But I am trapped on the opposite side
of plastic window panes
Don't take her away
she's barely sixteen
all alone this time
(God, I'm glad its not me)
Don't get into that car I whisper
to a black Toyota Camry
sitting in the street
waiting, just waiting
for its quarterly visit
Don't get into that car I exclaim
to a black and white bumper sticker
that says "read" in chunky (ironic) block letters
Don't get into that car I choke out
to the four wheeled death trap
that takes away my sister
on an eight hour journey
back to childhood misery
that I myself
have only just aged out of
Don't get into the car I say
to the exhaust that's left in my sister's
wake.
(knowing it will make no difference)
She's gone.
334 · Jul 2016
Did someone say Heartbreak?
kaycog Jul 2016
She had tired arms
to pair with his injured legs,
a broken mess they were,
but it was innocent,
she was naive
and he was clueless,
yet somehow they ended up
on each other's path
For now
331 · Jul 2016
Change? Yeah, I got this
kaycog Jul 2016
Let's take on the world
I'm tired of feeling sorry
I'm not anymore
kaycog Feb 2017
I'm a horrible captain
always crashing ships
people drown in pain
I commandeer boats
steer them straight
towards destruction

friendships.
relationships.
leadership.
...they all sink in the end
they never make it back to Shore (me)
328 · Feb 2017
Things that burst [10w]
kaycog Feb 2017
Hearts are covered in bubble wrap.
Protected, but played with.
325 · Nov 2014
Another [10w]
kaycog Nov 2014
I am a kaleidoscope of color
Refracting spectrums of images
kaycog Apr 2017
when things started going south
I told him as often as I could
how amazing I thought he was
thinking he would want to return
to someone who would choose him over the world
but the problem was
he wasn't amazing
yet he kept reaching me
drinking up my compliments
in those night hours of depression
where he felt sorry for himself
and I was desperately there
clinging to the hope that he would come back
if I continued to pour my everything into him
the days were the worst
because I couldn't even pretend
that our relationship would mend itself
until evening came
and he would need me
to stroke his ever fragile male ego
however, it was my fault for obliging
I would weaken myself to hear his voice
how dare he tell me
that I looked pretty crying
as he crushed the heart he promised never to hurt
how dare he re-confess his feelings
and say he wants nothing to do with me
in the same amazing sentence
321 · May 2017
quality vs sanctity of life
kaycog May 2017
I should have known better than
to bring the outside world in
but I was rash, carefree in nature
and I was naive, careless with nature
and four little eggshells fell
how offputting they lay
where life granting blessings seldom belong
nothing could be done to remedy
three perfect birds to be, gone
and one lofty mistake
left in a pile of goo
321 · Jun 2016
Make Like A Tree
kaycog Jun 2016
My summer was spent under a grand oak tree
We would laugh, we would talk, and throw frisbees
Bugs would crawl over fingers when we sat in the grass
And clovers were plucked as kisses were passed

Our Fall then came, no, seventeen didn't last
That oak grew still, and you stayed in my past
(and get out)
320 · Jun 2016
Craving Cake
kaycog Jun 2016
He beat me like egg batter
Whipping the ingredients
Until my eyes were big and puffy

Oh, how he loved sweet things
kaycog Feb 2017
why did she choose to call me today?
of all days
five thirty nine in the evening
I didn't pick up
I don't (think) I regret it
But why did she call?
when she knows I won't answer...
my thoughts as words, not really a quality poem....
318 · Mar 2015
On Edges
kaycog Mar 2015
You would chase the stars
And I ran after trains
You threw yourself into dreams
And I jumped in front of cars
317 · Jan 2021
[10w] on tomorrow
kaycog Jan 2021
You are more real than a Friday that never comes
kaycog Sep 2018
his isolation was over-won by desperation
and he couldn't fit in, instead to conform
he tried to stand out
the outcast, alone.

they laughed, the feared, they snickered
"I'm going to drop kick him," one said
a mouth once full of praise now
barring teeth that housed a two-sided tongue.
311 · Dec 2014
I am a two-way mirror
kaycog Dec 2014
Look at me
See how I smile right at you!
A grin stretched across my face
Reflecting your happiness right on back
I am what you expect to see,
A reflection, no surprises
But don't you dare peek through the other side!
Stare right through me, discover the trick
And really I'm not so joyful at all
309 · Oct 2014
Sweet As Vinegar
kaycog Oct 2014
you. lied.
with twists of confession
mixed a facade of protection
made it taste like honey
but no-- its not as sweet

its. bitter.
every hope and dream and life together
left alone, lost, to wither
a cold voice mocks me--
it haunts me

this is NOT my defeat
it may be my downfall
but its not my end
in short, you lied
but really, you were never my friend
305 · Nov 2014
Letting Go
kaycog Nov 2014
Sometimes the pressure is just to much
I know I'm not alone in this but I think I'm gonna pop
You feel it too, I know, but you try not to let it show
I'm starving for an answer, I beg you for a truth
A response to know you're there for me
like I was there for you

Sometimes I picture happiness, it starts with your similing face
I try so hard to forget it, let go of all the dreams
I live in a reality, where you were meant for me
but no matter what I say, no matter what I do
I know deep down inside, I can't live my whole life for you
305 · Nov 2016
Paint on an Invisible Man
kaycog Nov 2016
I can't clasp your hand
For when I fall
I won't be able to catch myself
And I'm not trusting enough
To rely on your strength
To keep me upright
Not that I don't think you're capable
But I won't give you the chance.
304 · Mar 2017
signing over my soul
kaycog Mar 2017
walls don't talk back
when I spill out my secrets
instead they listen
kaycog Dec 2014
Would you believe me if I said I was okay?
303 · Mar 2017
across the street
kaycog Mar 2017
I never knew what went on in that house
behind that perfect fenced-in yard
Maybe they sneaked out at night, to paint over the dead
Every day, without fail, it was a family effort you see
I swear they cut grass blades with sharp kitchen scissors
Spreading love, fertilizing an ever thirsty lawn
I never saw the weeds, the mushrooms that would grow
slowly, unnoticed, until the pesky invaders overpowered the green
And yet, the metal wire still outlines the property
302 · Nov 2017
I saw you out there
kaycog Nov 2017
of the twelve rocks you threw
eleven, my window never knew
but the last of such, nature acted upon
stone hit the glass, my curtains were drawn
hand on the fabric, reverberating panes
poured artificial light, over the grassy plains
over the valley and on the hilltop
I find myself there, so please never stop
301 · Jul 2016
Life Guards Off The Clock
kaycog Jul 2016
There we were, all three of us
With triangle flags proudly flying team colors: red alternating with black, hung above our heads

The sky displayed a golden overcast and 90's glow, we immersed ourselves in the misty chlorine rain, created out of sunset teenage days, we indulged in the vintage filtered vibes that were formed of summer storms,

We remained treading in fluorescent blues until the leftover orange, lemon-yellow, and soft peach colors of the afterstorm flooded into the foggy pool,

...and there were chapped lips--cinammon sweet, water-worn fingers, and stinging red eyes hidden behind Ray Bans.

Their daydream smiles were two weeks behind, brimming with nostalgia of a previous decade

...

I miss them like spring--they're already gone, don't they dare to linger on me like afternoon heat, causing glassy water to absorb a fading season's warmth

But soon evenings will go cold and the afternoon air will turn to college sweatshirt nights, and a fleeting season that can never exist will leave me behind, even though I don't want it to...

(Babe, your summer lasts a year longer than mine ever will)
Saving the memory
298 · Jul 2016
[10w] Racing
kaycog Jul 2016
I don't know
What's running faster
My heart
Or mind
297 · Apr 2018
Rae
kaycog Apr 2018
Rae
there's a girl with red hair
and vintage red polka dot dresses
she doesn't miss anything
save for the five foot mark
she's a short little firecracker
full of opinions and wit
soft souled
one of those girls with an affinity for quaint little boutiques
with over priced trinkets
(don't even get me started on used book stores)
a grounded free spirit
who buys tea at coffee shops
I couldn't remember her order if I tried
pictures never capture her
moments fill her feed
she holds nothing back
(vulnerability excluded)
toddlers make her laugh more than cute boys
her heroes consist of Ron Paul and Leslie Knope
(can't forget John Mulaney)
car trouble every other day
single handly solos twelve hour road trips
not a moments hesitation
spontaneous and steadfast
drives an hour just for donuts
southern baptist?
heels and tights
more stories than battle scars
titles fill her desk
from poetry pages to presidential plaques
her range is astronomical
no shame in wearing pajama pants
into gas stations or grocery stores
her heart gives itself away
in water color paintings and chocolate chip cookies
no no she can't eat that
"I'm lactose intolerant, remember?"
laughs and eats it anyway
I could sum her up in a sentence, but an encyclopedia is not enough
kaycog Aug 2020
A catalyst for change.
Spared by
romanticized what if's
and shadow selves
who pass bets on
potential.
I am a cause
ensnared
by the razor thin wire
I walk.
Reality?
kaycog Nov 2016
If I could be slightly more than I am now
If I could be more intelligent
If I could be more trusting
If I could be more forgiving
If I could be more caring
If I could be less self-centered
If I could stop comparing myself to the unattainable accomplishments of my sister
If I could let those who care about me get close
If I could be a little bit better at math
If I could commit
If I could be less dramatic
If I could be less emotional
If I could stop pushing everyone away
If I could fix myself
If I could stop writing everyone off
If I could keep friends for longer than a few years
If I could be just a little bit better
(If I loved myself a little bit more)
kaycog Oct 2016
tap my shoulder turn me around
slide your chair a little closer
let me listen for a while
lean your head into mine
and don't look away
speak of your sorrows
of your trouble filled worries
don't go away for the night
check in don't check out
please don't mention going
You'll be gone forever
291 · Dec 2014
10w with heart
kaycog Dec 2014
I am sorry for the words that I clipped short
290 · Jan 2015
[10w] snow
kaycog Jan 2015
love starts out as snow flurries then turns into blizzards
290 · Feb 2017
Basic? yeah, basically
kaycog Feb 2017
rips in your white washed
worn with pride
a snap back snaps necks
looks like double takes
holes in your brand name
predictable, never overused
a hard leather fastened
never goes to waist
canvas covers for the strut
walked to converse
290 · Oct 2014
The Corner
kaycog Oct 2014
trapped in a corner, nowhere to run
the doors have been locked
the windows shut tight
surrounded by walls
they're all closing in

stuck in my corner, nowhere to turn
the escapes have been blocked
the help is long gone
squeezed into a box
there's no getting out
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