Five months with you
Was like staring at the same stars everyday but still being amazed by how they shined against the same black night sky.
The first time we kissed,
You apologized for getting a *****.
We made out for three hours like ***** teenagers afraid to go further.
Ever since that first kiss, I vanished inside you.
I was drowning in your kiss.
And every time your lips grazed mine after that night,
i never wanted to come up for air.
You suffocated me with every breath.
It was as if our lips were designed to move this way together.
A few weeks later, you began to unpack your soul,
Always leaving it at home.
This beautiful body was walking around filled with bones,
But still managed to be
Completely hollow.
Ghost like.
My friend one day said, “Katie, you talk about him as if he has already died”.
Everyday you were more machine then man.
Just going through the motions like you will always be living like this.
We ended up developing this normal routine with limited speaking.
Every night was predictable but that was okay with me.
Because even after life escaped you,
Your silky brown eyes still shimmered like a starry night.
Your hands still felt as if there was blood running through them.
Your body was able to create a beautiful rhythm that still damages me every time somebody tries to mimic it.
There isn't another pair of eyes that can pry yours from my brain.
And even though you are practically the walking dead the most I ever felt alive was when your body was next to mine-
Lying still. Slowly breathing.
The nights I am at my worse I still feel waves of you running through me,
Those nights I mistake my pillow for your chest;
Both without a heartbeat.
Those are the moments I wish you would clench me,
Freeze the world for a bit longer.
But ever since you left
The world has been spiraling out of control,
My word ***** has been spilling on to you
And I can't control it.
I let go of myself when you were here
Because you held the reins.
And you still do.
You and I were my favorite time.
And I'm sorry you buried yourself this way;
But please remember that I love you.
As a person. As a friend.
As much as someone can love a ghost.