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 Jul 2013 Katelyn Knapp
Erica M
I am addicted to you
Every ounce of what I can find
In the depths of your soul
I hear you calling me
Keeping me up all hours of the night

The idea of being able to awake
With you by my side
Is enough to drive me mad
For hours, no, days on end

It’s a rare ten minutes
Where you don’t cross my mind
The sad part is
I can’t distance myself
From you

My subconscious
Is addicted as well
You have appeared
In countless dreams
The hero in my nightmares
I blink and see you

My body craves your heat
The curve of your spine
I long to memorize
Every outline
Of muscle and spot
Every blemish on your skin

If you dare ask
If I’m addicted to you
I will nod quietly
And beg you
Not to stage
An intervention
 Jul 2013 Katelyn Knapp
Madison
There comes a day in your life where you meet someone special…
You try so hard not to admit it but you just can’t hold back the way you feel…
I like you.
You get all those feelings…
Those butterflies you can’t stomach,
That heart rate you can’t put at ease,
So baby …
Sweetheart with the beautiful smile. Sure, I loved sleep
But dreams couldn't compare
Not to talking to you until my mind screamed for rest
And the butterflies in my stomach settled
Darling with the endless amount of love…
your love could fill the oceans and climb the tallest trees,
but could your love belong to me someday?
Be given to me?
Can you feel the way I do for you?
& Boy, sometimes I tangle my own fingers
Closing my eyes, losing myself in a daydream
Where your voice is more than an echo in my mind
And I even believe for a few seconds you're still here
Lover, who writes me poems,
You should know I write you too.
I write about you until my fingers ache
And still after that I keep writing
Because there's just some people you could write about forever
And baby, you're one of them.
And boy who played me a song,
Sweet sounds bow down to my ears,
And the way you play your guitar…
& the way I daydream about kissing your lips...
I can’t wait until the sparks of your tongue burn my mouth
send electric shocks through my body
Cutie… with the funny jokes,
You make me laugh.
Today you made me laugh,
like you always do,
you’re the only one who can now a days.
Baby, with those sparkling eyes,
Your eyes haunt me whether I'm dreaming or not
And what haunts me more is the fact that
I can’t have you now
because you ruined it
It hurts to think about it,
So I have to block you out.
Play your songs to someone else,
Read your silly lines of heartache to someone else,
And go find… someone else.
I can’t feel it,
It’s not even beating,
I’ve been hurting for so long,
I just wanted it to end,
Now that it has,
I pray to feel something,
Even the pain was enough to keep me alive,
Enough to know that I’m still human,
or at least some type of species here living on some type
of weird planet,
can’t tell if it’s Earth or just somewhere that I’ve drifted off to in my head,
my own little planet where everything wasn’t just a
face that I had to put on telling everyone
Oh I’m fine,
this planet wasn’t a place to be anything that wasn’t who I was,
no one else was there,
no one else ever bothered,
I was just fine being me,
But now it’s like
I feel hear think nothing,
I’m completely numb to myself and the world around me,
completely deaf to what’s in front of me and blind to what I’m being shown
But sometimes it’s in plain view and I can hear it loud and clear
Once life is numb, life is over
the blood
my cuts
the scars....
my withdrawals
this lust
the pills
the spots
the marks he left
these thoughts
my prayers it all reminds me of where i was.
God im so sorry
im so so sorry.
im so in love with you, God..
i know its been awhile.
and im so ashamed
im unworthy at the highest levels.
im so sorry
i never meant to hurt you.
i feel selfish,
angry
guilty
i hate myself God
i need you to change me.
break my walls down
the walls of oppression
the ones imprisoning me
the walls of addiction
Lord break my walls down
i love you God i love you God i love you !!!
i need you
Lord i need you
i need you
i need you
i need you
i need you
i need you
i need you
i need you!!!!
....God i know im not perfect, i know im not...
but i know with you i am not just somebody
im not just those cuts
or the scars
or the pills i overdosed
or the marks he left
im not "just" anything with you God...
I AM the daughter of the king of the most high..
and God right now i dont feel like that.
but i feel you drawing close God.
Glory.
glory
glory.
i need your forgivness Lord
i love you
I lie awake

Shaking your chemicals
out of my system

like a lovesick
fiend
draw back the curtains
so the windows are certain
the sunlight spills across your face

and run to the river
where we used to live
and i will meet you in that place

and i'll never break your heart again

a full bodied springtime
the trees know my crime
and moonlight is on the air

their branches are burning
the footsteps are turning
a slow night to be fair

and i'll never break your heart again

i stayed up all night
i hoped that i might
prove myself to be true

but the lilacs have heard me
and the brick house assured me
that all they talk about is you

and i'll never break your heart again
https://soundcloud.com/dustin-unger/run-to-the-river
I walked the path that wound
alongside the river

It was along this bend that settlers had their boats
dashed on the rocks by nature's unexpected fury

I wanted to see the river,
these rapids that turn the world,
this reminder of earth's power

So I stepped off the path
and headed down the bank
over rocks and bushes

And aside from the static white noise
of water, the first thing to greet me
at the edge was a cross

Two simple sticks, with a ribbon
draped over its outstretched arms

The unmistakable symbol of a life lived
and a life lost

The only thing between me and the rushing water
was this
               monument
                                     to
                                           mortality

For some reason
this terrified me more
than any man-made disaster can

This was nature,

Pure and indifferent

My mind wandered to the obvious void

This space that used to be occupied
by a living, breathing being

Someone with fears and joys of their own
Someone who had seen things and known people
Someone who had stood where I am standing right now

But who were you?

And who missed you?

What was your name?

What did you love?

Did you fall?
Or did you leap into the waiting arms of the river?

Were you afraid, as I am, standing here
just inches away from something that can't be controlled?

I have so many questions that will never be answered,
except by the deafening rush of water, and the

Cold spray of mist at my face
Upon this parchment I scribe a vow...

To never turn away even if it burns my eyes to look...

To go on with-out fear of failure and to cast all doubts aside...

A vow to be ignorant of this plague of ignorance!

I solemnly swear that I will spit in the face of prejudice indignity and deface the figure-heads of unimaginative creationism

...And I will not back down nor shall I be deterred from that which is inspired!

I shall embrace freedom to it's fullest extent and will die upon compromise of that which I have deemed sacred.

This much I swear!!

Until death strips me of my right!

I vow to be free.
 Jul 2013 Katelyn Knapp
Sir B
It hurts
more
When stabbing oneself
When having a heartbreak
When depression walks in
When you are hated upon
and it hurts the most
When everything you do
is criticized
and
hated
I am unworthy.
 Jul 2013 Katelyn Knapp
Sir B
I have no hope remaining
Constant hate + my depression
Only results in self destruction
Nothing to tether onto either....
WHY? Must there be hate?
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