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 Jan 2016 Kaitlin Floyd
gabriela
in a room of silence
their heartbeats softly resonate
a timbre of gold
I'm not okay... But it's okay

Because when I put that blunt to my lips I'm okay

And when I put that blade to my wrist I'm okay
 Jan 2016 Kaitlin Floyd
NV
because when she was young,

people would ask her

"what superpower,

do you wish for?"

so without any hesitation

she replied "invisibility."

and then,

and then she grew up realising

it came true.
 Jan 2016 Kaitlin Floyd
NV
I SLAMMED THE DOOR SO HARD, THAT IT COULD HAVE FALLEN OFF IT'S HINGES,
THE SAME WAY I COLLAPSE TO MY KNEES SOMETIMES.
I SLAMMED IT WITH THE KIND OF FORCE THAT IT  TAKES ME TO LOVE, AND GOD KNOWS I LOVE WITH THE POWER OF EARTHQUAKES AND TORNADOS COMBINED.
 Jan 2016 Kaitlin Floyd
NV
i sometimes wonder why you still visit my mood swings,
left in abandoned playgrounds between my chest.
why you still visit even though the slides may only carry you down to somebody like me.
somebody difficult to love,
somebody who cannot tell the difference between crying and laughing anymore.
why you haven't left this soul,
who's bones can't seem to find enough strength to push my side of the sea saw,
who can't seem to move past three poles on the monkey bar,
simply because of the weight on top of my shoulders.
this flesh of complete brokeness that couldn't bare ringa ring rosie,
because at some point one gets tired of always falling.
i often wonder, why me.
why me, with all my chipped paint and countless dents.
why you still visit,
when this isn't the grass on other side that's greener.
because God knows,
i'd understand if you look for a park elsewhere.
a park worthy of you.
i used you as a crutch.
we were each others temporary soft touch.
i used you while you used me.
we both just wanted our ex to see.

feed me your lies while i shove mine down your throat.
you text me you want me then get wrapped in another guys coat.
i gave you the world, i was amazing, so you said.
but then right after saying you want no none but me, we're both is someone elses bed.

"I've got to talk to you" became a common phrase i heard.
is it cheating if the feelings are fake? the emotion blurred?
how is this a rebound if the ball was never shot?
we were never over our ex, so not a single one of those lies were bought.

i wanna say i'm sorry.
for playing you knowing where home was.
but to be honest, you played me harder.
you're a hell of an actor, here's your applause.
#j
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