Once you have a heart raw in your hands,
it's easy to draw blood
it's heavy, gory,
content to be cradled
But tell me, how do you put a heart down without hurting it?
Do you store it in a drawer? Will it keep fresh for later?
Do you lay it on the grass to decompose on its own?
Or do you pass it onto the next pair of unsure hands?
Blood leaks through my digits with every tremor
I take the heart in my hands and put it back into his
It's the ghostly familiarity that hurts
The blood stains my hands and the weight tires his
I love and hate the emptiness, my arms become light and turn into wings
But I didn't ask for them and I don't know how to be grateful
On to the next blood

My life feels like it was built on broken promises
Old stones stacked precariously as they were put
Ready to crumble for the next person to bring me to, ruin
Scattered stones turn to gravel and sand
And I become something people can reach, touch
I'm not a mountain, I'm a landscape
I spread my branches
And I'd rather grow outwards than upwards

I swear you make thunderstorms run up and down my spine
electricity,
tornadoes twist around my mind
I'm soft aggression like the wind
and I can't abide
But you like the way the wind runs its hands through your hair
You like my breath of fresh air
We mold into each other
Yet we pretend not to care
You close the door when it's raining
But you look out the window and stare
You long for adrenaline and dewy kisses
You keep the door closed and miss this.

I would have taken you in pieces if you'd have me whole
I would have taken your shatters and put them on a pedestal

Your presence is ever existent like the aloof sliver of a moon-
perseverating, too
I don't know why you affect me so much but you make me crazy and cold, full and warm
You are everything I didn't ask for.

And by the time you realize I'm exactly what you've wanted, I've begun to realize you're exactly what I don't.
Pity how time and harsh storms will weather a headstone.

Give me my name back
get it out of your false mouth and keep it out of your head
I'll take my naked body back from your dreams and my laughter from your unevolved heart
Before you put my name in your mouth to swallow it whole
Before you could bite off more than you could chew
Your name fell out of my mouth like old bubblegum, glue
And out of my head like something I never knew
I can feel my name on your teeth
The film on your smile
As if I'm every sip you take
Alcohol, poison, mistake
When you tell everyone about me, tell them how I was never yours to claim and give me back my name

My body is just a vessel so don't bother falling for it
I find myself falling out of it every day
The way I keep falling out of love
I didn't know souls could be so clumsy
But I'm sliding on the black ice in my brain
If I'm still there, the ice is melting and I'm filling my pockets with the puddles
The weight of the world is incredible but I float like a balloon
No one's holding on to me and I wish I could see the ground and know what gravity feels like
I hear gravity has a pull
But I've never been pulled toward something before
I just float on
I wish someone could give me a gentle tug instead of just making me their amusement
I'm not all that pretty to look at and I'm better to hold
Tie me to your wrist and I'll show you what we've missed