my stomach is sick
my legs are weak
this disease is eating at me
pulling me apart

jarringly
my head spun in circles
what do i do?
standing there
the tears poured
and i screamed
what is there to do?
all i can see(what is there to see?)
is a hazy vision of your presence
but are you really there?
is it an illusion?
i ask and i ask but i dont
know
will i ever know?
i ask myself
and i pull forward
a shower of blossoms appear
red as the moon shining above thee
the shadow of you breaks through
what…. was i to do?
your body falls
my hope falls
i drop the weapon, clattering on the ground.
hope fled, fear ensued
the shadow of you breaks through
and i fall

I was…
Alone.
Alone in a large, large place.
Larger than I ever could’ve imagined.
Larger than, even maybe, outer space.
Looking around at all the terrible sight,
The looming darkness that stole my
Breath  away…
In the midst of night.

My mind was in a haze,
And myself in a daze.

All these eyes staring at me,
Pressuring me,
Their looks...
Soft, hard, objectifying.
Melancholy, wise, forceful.

Forceful, forceful, forceful.

All these eyes, straining their visions
Just to look at me
Just to stare


Pressure.
There is no way to go.
Pressure.
No way to get away.
Pressure.
From the pressure of a million eyes.
Pressure.

Alone, in this world,
I was.
Alone, in this world,
I am.

For days and days,
These straining eyes
Stared at me.
For years and years,
These straining eyes
Pressured me.

Those eyes…
Awaited my every move.
Like I was a chess piece
In their game.

Throwing me around
Without a second thought.
Throwing me around
Without a second thought.

It felt like a waterfall.
Pouring down on me,
Pressure…
Pouring down on me.

I drown.